Contact Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer

It’s not a direct line, but you’ll get to the admin secretary closest to Steve Ballmer. If you have a longstanding Microsoft issue that multiple trips to the MS customer service line haven’t solved, try pitching her your problems.

Steve Ballmer, CEO
(425) 706-8448

Oh, and apparently this one is for Mr. Bill Gates:

Undoubtedly, both email addresses are answered by secretaries. But would you rather your plea be answered by high-level secretaries who can walk across the office and drop sugar in their master’s laps, or some guy in India with a laptop powered by a heifer’s holy nipples? — BEN POPKEN