Mailing back and forth with Equifax can be like talking to a brick wall, except instead of bricks, the wall is made out of buttocks, and they’re farting all over your credit report.

According to a tipster who use to work for the company, this is because when you write Equifax a letter, it goes to a PO box, gets scanned, and then someone in India downloads it from a server.

We wouldn’t want to malign the industrious and good-natured people of India, but we can be fairly certain that whoever is selecting a response to your letter from a drop-down box on a computer screen, they’re the cheapest person Equifax could find…

That’s why it may be helpful to contact Equifax executive customer service. — BEN POPKEN

Want more consumer news? Visit our parent organization, Consumer Reports, for the latest on scams, recalls, and other consumer issues.