Consumerist Invites You To Join Whistleblowers Anonymous

We know many of our readers work at the companies that we write about, and we’ve started a program specifically for you. It’s called Whistleblowers Anonymous and it can help you overcome your addiction to corporate douchebagism. Through Whistleblowers Anonymous you can help your customers, your fellow humans, and yourself.

Read the 12 steps inside.

These are the 12 Steps of Whistleblowers Anonymous. They are adapted from the original 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous.

1. We admitted we were powerless over our need to inform the public about the ways our company was failing them and –that our lives had become unmanageable.
2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves, also known as the Internet, could restore us to sanity.
3. Made a decision to turn our information over to the care of the Internet as we understood it.
4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves, our industry and our company.
5. Admitted to the Internet, to ourselves, and to The Consumerist the exact nature of our wrongs, the wrongs of our industry, and our company.
6. Were entirely ready to have the Internet remove all these defects of character, or at least point them out over and over again.
7. Humbly asked the Internet to remove our shortcomings, through whatever means necessary.
8. Made a list of all persons our company has harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
11. Sought through reforms in our policies to improve our conscious contact with consumers and the Internet as we understood them,
12. Having had a spiritual awakening, and possibly seen the benefits treating consumers with respect as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to other companies, and other industries, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

Once you reach Step 5, write to us at tips [at] consumerist [dot] com. You’ll be glad you did.

REMEMBER: The Consumerist would like helpful information. For examples of good “Confessions” read this series:

8 Confessions Of A Former Verizon Sales Rep
7 Confessions of a Cingular Sales Rep
6 Confessions Of A Former Sprint Sales Rep
11 Confessions of a T-Mobile Sales Rep
8 Confessions of An Alltel Sales Rep