Gneiss Security, TSA!

And the TSA finally realizes what master ninjas always knew: everything is a deadly weapon.

A geologist traveling to a trade conference via Bradley International Airport in Hartford, Connecticut was detained by secured and forced to give up an interesting specimen of Hebron Gneiss. A rock, in other words, resembling “a broken slice of layer cake and composed of licorice and cream cheese.” Sounds like the most delicious rock ever!

Why? According to the TSA, it was a “dual-use” item, capable of being used to bludgeon fellow passengers to death or perhaps deftly thrown through one of the windows, causing depressurization. Or, you know, whatever.

We can’t wait until the TSA realizes that, even if they strip everyone naked, someone could still potentially rip the femur out of their leg, snap it in half, and use it as two just-plain-badass daggers.

No Stone Unturned [Connecticut Opinion[ (Thanks,


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  1. WindowSeat says:

    I’m convinced that a lot of what screeners do is based on boredom or quotas.

    Due to the recent restrictions on liquids, etc. I had to pack three jars of home-canned salsa in my checked luggage and I was pat-searched at security for having “bulk items”.

  2. He says:

    He should start visiting those lost or unclaimed baggage stores where scum make money by selling other people’s things. It’ll probably turn up there.

  3. Another geologist told me the same thing … she has to check through her rock samples now because the TSA is afraid she’ll bludgeon people with them. Scared of the ability of the TSA & airlines to keep track of her valuable rock samples in transit, she’s now UPSing them.

  4. Savage says:

    Next they’ll probably not allow babies on board.

  5. JMC says:

    That last sentence just makes me think of Chuck Norris for some reason.

  6. LafinJack says:

    Chuck would use someone else’s leg, not his own.