Blah blah blah Uhaul wouldn’t rent me a Uhaul because I’m too much of a slacker to show up on time. That’s what ran through our brains when we first read Christopher’s letter. Then we stumbled across this gem.

After not being able to get his reserved Uhaul , Chris decided he would just rent a trailer from them and hook it up to his brother’s 1995 Ford Explorer. That’s when the fun really started.

“I informed [the desk clerk] that it was a ’95 Explorer, and she promptly informed me that they would be unable to rent me a trailer as the ’95 Explorers had a recall for their Bridgestone tires. I remembered this from many years ago, but on a 10-year old vehicle with 120,000 miles the tires had obviously been changed more than once. I even offered to let her inspect the tires to make sure they were not the original Bridgestones. As you can probably guess, she was having none of it.”

95% of life is showing up on time. The other 5% is resisting the urge to vanquish the fools you find when you get there.

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“I hate to pile on (no I don’t), but here’s another horror story about U-Haul.

About a year ago I was moving apartments in Chicago, and unfortunately attempted to rent a truck through U-Haul, about 4 miles from my apartment. I went through the usual rent, confirm, repeat business that everyone else seems to endure, but that really wasn’t too much of a hassle. The true disaster started when I arrived to pick up my truck.

I had made and confirmed my rental for 8AM – 4PM on Saturday. Well, my little brother had agreed to help me move (bless his heart), but was running a little behind schedule as he had to drive up from school in Champaign, IL (2 hrs away). That was fine, because I intentionally rented the truck for the full day so we could take our time and factor in things like running late/long lines at the rental facility. He arrived at 10AM, and we went to pick up the truck, which would still give us about 5.5 hours to move a couple miles and return the truck on time. He dropped me off at U-Haul and headed back towards my apartment. Unfortunately, when I went in to pick up the keys, the employee behind the counter informed me that my truck had been taken by someone else because I wasn’t there at exactly 8AM.

I had assumed that since my rental was until 4PM, I could pick up the truck whenever I wanted before that and it would be there. I guess according to U-Haul, they just assume you’re bailing on your reservation if you’re not there as soon as they open. To make matters worse, since I was just in a t-shirt and mesh shorts I didn’t bring my cell phone with me, and my brother had already left. So, without rental truck or ride home, I started jogging towards my apartment (4 miles away – not the best option at 10AM, hungover on hot, humid, August day). Amazingly, my brother was stuck in traffic, and I managed to catch him about a mile away.

But, that still left me sans rental truck and I had to move that day. We went back to the facility, and they informed us we could wait around for the 12:30 returns and see if someone doesn’t show up for their reservation (i.e. doesn’t show up at exactly 12:30 so we can steal their truck). This was unappealing for a few reasons: 1) We had to wait 2.5 hours just for a chance to get a truck, 2) There were ~4 other people waiting for the same thing, and 3) We would be stealing someone else’s truck, which obviously wasn’t fair.

Well, my brother had a 1995 Ford Explorer with a hitch, so we decided we would simply rent one of the available trailers. We would have to make a couple trips, but I was only moving a few miles, and it was better than the alternatives. I filled out all the paperwork and was ready to go hook up the trailer when the desk clerk asked off-handedly what kind of vehicle we were driving. I informed her that it was a ’95 Explorer, and she promptly informed me that they would be unable to rent me a trailer as the ’95 Explorers had a recall for their Bridgestone tires. I remembered this from many years ago, but on a 10-year old vehicle with 120,000 miles the tires had obviously been changed more than once. I even offered to let her inspect the tires to make sure they were not the original Bridgestones. As you can probably guess, she was having none of it.

I have a notorious short-fuse, and I was about 2 seconds away from laying into this unhelpful U-Haul employee with all the verbal fury of Don Rickles on crystal meth, but fortunately my brother dragged me out before I could make a total ass of myself.

To make a long story longer, we ended up hauling my entire apartment in my brother’s Explorer, which took no less than 7 separate trips and 10 hours. And of course, I will never again use U-Haul. I actually never even checked my credit card statement to see if they charged me for “failing to show up” for my reservation, but if you made me guess I’d bet they did.”

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