U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission Warns: “Kids Are Idiots.”

The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission’s newsfeed is a daily source of hilarity. “Barbecue recalled for fire hazard!” it warns. “Trampolines recalled for falling risk!” it hollers and cries. I rarely click though: the actual details could only disappoint. I like living in a world where the government needs to issue daily reminders verbalizing common sense.

And they’re at it again, this time warning about the dangers of precariously balanced pieces of furniture. ” The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission (CPSC) is warning parents and caregivers about the dangers of televisions and heavy furniture tipping over and killing young children. The number of TV tip-over deaths reported to CPSC during the first seven months of 2006 is twice the typical yearly average.”

The lesson? That 36 inch plasma screen should not be balanced on wobbling legs composed entirely of empty beer cans. Your iron maiden? It should not be left open and placed on roller skates. An armoire should not be stored diagonally, propped up only with a creaking broom. And so on. BEWARE.

CPSC Warns about TV, Large Furniture Tip-Over Dangers [CPSC]