State Farm offers a ‘good student’ discount on their car insurance to kids with a decent GPA. I’d like to call foul on this: there’s no statistical evidence that stupid slackers like me drive any worse than the pocket-protecting elite.

So I already hate Reader Ian a bit for falling on the right side of State Farm’s cerebralist dichotomy of insurer prejudice. Still, all’s right in the world, because if there’s one thing for certain, it’s that State Farm eventually bones all people equally.

Six months after qualifying for a ‘good student’ discount, Ian found his insurance bill jump up by $80. “Recalculated premiums,” said State Farm: vague justifications are the lingua franca of insurance agencies, after all. Ian accepted it, with only a thin rope of blood trickling from his teeth-pierced nether lip.

But then, a few months later, State Farm revoked his ‘good student’ discount. Seems he’d stopped being a student: this made him a stupid slacker like me, and liable to pay an extra $250, with nothing to do about it except go for his PhD. The nether lip began to spray gore like a firehose.

Ian’s email, after the jump.

About a year ago I purchased a new car and a new car insurance policy from State Farm to go with it. As a male under the age of 25 living in a large metropolitan area (DC), said policy was, naturally, a complete freaking rip-off (despite my squeaky clean driving record), but State Farm was still cheaper than pretty much anyone else. Though I was no longer a student, I was a recent graduate and therefore eligible for a pretty substantial good student discount thanks to my 3.96 college GPA (with only a B in Astronomy between me and perfection). I knew there was a benefit to studying! I paid for the first 6 months of insurance up front and proceeded to enjoy my new car.

Six months later I get the bill for the next insurance period, and I notice that it has increased by about $80 despite the fact that I had made no claims. I call my State Farm agent to inquire about the increase and I was informed that they had “reassessed the way they calculate premiums.” Frustrating as hell, but there’s not much I can do about it. At least I still have that bitchin’ good student discount, right? I pay my bill and enjoy another six months of choking on smog and sitting in traffic in my hot ride.

A couple of weeks ago I received a bill for the next billing cycle. This time, they have increased my rates by $250! I call my agent to ask why, despite never ever having filed a claim, they had raised my rates again. They tell me that since I’ve been out of college for over a year, I’m no longer eligible for that good student discount. My transcripts haven’t changed, but I guess I’m dumber now that I’m living in the real world and have all those real world responsibilities such as paying my own bills. I guess I’m just too stupid these days to understand the inherent logic of State Farm’s premiums.

So I say screw ’em. I’m switching to Esurance until I move to Portland, OR next month and then I’m selling my car. I’m sick of being hostage to the whims of the insurance and oil industries.

Want more consumer news? Visit our parent organization, Consumer Reports, for the latest on scams, recalls, and other consumer issues.