CVS Won’t Accept You’re Not Stacy

Like an insane serial killer calling from the attic, drooling and sharpening his knives, CVS just can’t stop calling Robert B.

Manically, they think his name is Stacy. A slobbering mental patient at the other end will not accept his name is not Stacy. They keep on calling him, over and over and over again. Not only that, but they delight in calling his mobile, racking up his precious free minutes.

The CVS employee will not identify himself, or the specific store he works for. In infinite, creepy recursion, Robert awaits the next call, unsure of how he can possibly convince CVS that his gruff, masculine voice is that of a man, not a valley girl trick.

Robert’s email, after the jump.

I have recently started receiving phone calls from CVS pharmacy, asking for someone called Stacy. Annoyingly these calls are coming to my cell phone. Each time the person calling is a bumbling idiot, barely able to put together a coherent sentence and completely able to grasp that:

1) Im not Stacy
2) Im male and therefore not Stacy
3) That they have the wrong number and therefore not Stacy
4) That they are calling a cell phone and racking up my cell phone minutes rather than Stacys
5) That despite me not being Stacy, calling back each and every day for the last week or so in the vane hope that Stacy will answer my cell phone is not going to happen

Ive tried asking them where they are calling from, telling them that they have the wrong number etc, but as soon as they figure out they hang up, only to call back the NEXT DAMN DAY.

I am currently awaiting the next call ala Groundhog Day.

I havent called corporate yet, but surely the staff should be intsructed on how to deal with wrong numbers, or does it fall to me to spend my time on fixing their mistakes?