Get a Hummer With Your Happy Meal!

To the spittle-spraying vehemence of environmental groups, McDonald’s is giving away a free Hummer with every Happy Meal.

Unfortunately, that didn’t quite mean exactly what I thought it meant, as I found out when I rushed to the local McDonald’s, ordered twelve from the beautiful teenage girl behind the counter, then expectantly unzipped. No, these are toy Hummers… Tonka-sized HUVs for kids!

The usual collection of people paid to be outraged are paid to be outraged about this. Quoth Brenda Bell, an energy policy analyst at the Sierra club: “[Hummers in Happy Meals] are about as responsible as dipping a Big Mac in the fry oil and serving it to your kids.” Responsible? No. But that does sound delicious, Brenda.

But ultimately, these are toys. When I was a child, McDonald’s handed away toy tanks, atomic monsters and laser-shooting robots. None of those are particularly good for the environment either.

Would You Like a Gas Guzzler With That? [NY Times]


Edit Your Comment

  1. Paul D says:

    High-five for the accompanying picture.

    /down low
    //too slow

  2. Pelagius says:

    Deep fried Big Mac? That’s fricking genius! Let me know when you decide to test market that baby, Mickey D.

    BTW – Consumerist clearly never eats at McDonald’s as no beautiful people of any age or gender are employed there.

  3. WMeredith says:

    How to deep fry a hamburger (seriously*)
    1) Make/obtain a small-to-medium sized hamburger of your liking. It should be ready to eat: cooked and assembled, with any toppings and bun.
    2) Freeze said hamburger SOLID in the freezer. This make take 24 hours.
    3) Make/Obtain frozen CUSTARD.
    4) Melt the “frozen” custard.
    5) Dip or roll hamburger in liquid custard until fully coated.
    6) Deep fry in oil (preferably peanut) at 350 degress until golden brown. (Due to variuous sizes of burgers the time in the oil will vary, just play it by ear. It’s pretty hard to burn somehting in a deep fryer, so you should be alright.)
    7) Dig into to your newly born sammich and try not to let too many people see your Oh-face.

    *I would not recommend this more than once or twice a year as it may have an adverse effect on your heart being able to, um, pump your blood.

  4. amazon says:

    My heart is beating slower from just reading that.

  5. Ben says:

    Never mind the toy, just letting the little buggers have a Happy Meal is irresponsible.

  6. Hooray4Zoidberg says:

    If they really started giving out BJs with Happy Meals, do you think they’d first rename it to a Happy Ending Meal?