Consumerist Reader Tshirt Slogans

Our contest for readers to create the next Consumerist tshirt is in full swing. Here’s the best of the bunch so far, in our humble opinions.

CANCEL. THE. ACCOUNT.

“Consumerist: Apply directly to the telemarketer”

Don’t be a jag

I Might be a Mystery Shopper

Buyer. Beware. Consumerist.com

Consumerist Whore

Pic of a guy with oozinator jizz on his face and awkward facial expression. Caption: in bold lettering, “stick it to the man”

Remember, you’ve got until August 25th, 5pm to submit your idea and win fabulous prizes. Email us at tips@consumerist.com with subject line “tshirt” or put ’em in the comments.

All the slogans submitted so far, inside, for inspirational purposes.

UPDATE: More slogans added!


Feel free to tweak these or just riff on ’em!

“Capitalist Piggy”
Complete with picture of cute fat piggy.

“for narrow minded liberals only”
“I buy witty T-shirts”
“Customer service ninja.”
“Did you cancel your AOL account yet?”
“Telemarketers’ nightmare.”
Consumer doesn’t mean “Con Me.”
On the front, “Companies should be afraid of their Customers.”
On front, “Because annoying the shit out of someone goes both ways.”
“Consumerist gives you the money shot”
“Demon Customer”
“Not made whole by just consuming? Bitch about it. Consumerist.com”
“It really IS a conspiracy. Consumerist.com”
“Get what’s coming to you. Consumerist.com”
“Fuck Thee. Come worship at the Holy Church of the Consumerist”
“You have customer retention. I have an angry Irishman and a blog. We’re even.”
“What are you going to do about it? Consumerist.com”
“I have a consumer blog. Give me a free t-shirt.”
“Thank you for calling customer service. How can I hang up on you?”
“Why the hell do I have to press 1 for English? “
“Psst, wanna buy some insurance insurance?”
Front: Complain like a woman….. Back: Consumerist.com
Front: Computer geeks bitching on-line Back: Consumerist.com
Front: I suck at shopping Back: Learn how to @ Consumerist.com
Front: Consumerist.com? Back: SUCKER
“I consume, therefore I am.”
“Get this mutha effen blog off my mutha effen shirt!”
“For People Who Buy Stuff”
Not just Pissed – Consumerist Pissed
Forewarned is Fun – Consumerist.com
Before I open my wallet I open Consumerist.com
Screw Back – Consumerist.com
From Screwed to Scrooge – Consumerist.com
If you f*ck with me you f*ck with Consumerist.com
Bling Blog. Consumerist.com
Consumerist.com – Not the Fuzzy End of the Lollypop
Consumerist.Com. Brand Killer.

UPDATE: New slogans below:

FRONT: “Fuck Me and I Fuck You Back.” (or “Eff Me and I Eff U Back.”) – BACK: THE Consumerist.com.
FRONT: “I Fucked the Man.” (or “I Fucked With the Man.”) – BACK: And All I Got Was This Goddamed T-Shirt. THE FUCKING Consumerist.com.
Let The Buyer [striked out] Seller Beware!
Say No to Corporate Douchery
I Complain All The Time About Lousy Service And All I Got Was This T-Shirt
Buyer: Be Aware – Consumerist.com
Consumerist.com: Making the BBB look like your PR firm
F: We know if you’ve been bad or good …and we’re telling everyone
B: Consumerist.com
Ripped from tomorrow’s headlines. Consumerist.com
“Friends Don’t Let Friends Buy Extended Warranties.”
Front: Caveat Venditor ” Back: consumerist.com
Front: Consumers Reporting. Back: Consumerist.com
Front: My manager can beat up your manager. Back: Consumerist.com
Front: The dog ate my receipt. Back: Consumerist.com
Front: Just blogging, thanks. Back: Consumerist.com
Front: You go get your manager. I’ll get mine. Back: Consumerist.com
“Don’t place the order.” (image of mouse/keyboard or phone + hand?)
“I would like to cancel my order.”
“I would like to cancel my account.”
“Dear Customer: Thank you for your money. Go F@!# yourself. Sincerely, Customer Service”
“RIAA? MPAA? Just go to Consumerist.com and RTFA”
“As long as you’re getting screwed, why not make it hurt less?”
…just an image somehow showing money under the mattress.
“A capitalist nightmare”
“Don’t get customer SERVICED.”
“Your call will be ignored in the order it was received.”
“Press 1 to continue to be jerked around by a huge corporation.”
“It’s called a Happy Meal, not a Fuck-My-Order-Up-Totally Meal.”
What part of “You give me what I want and I pay you” don’t you understand?
This outfit was $2 a pound
Front: Consumerist.com Stick it to the man Back: When he sitcks it to you
Front: Got Screwed? Back: Consumerist.com