The Truth About ‘5’

5. A word or maybe a number that causes even the most profane to turn a pallid green; that triggers the bile reflex in even those who can listen unblinking to Bob Saget’s version of The Aristocrats. So claims Verizon: amongst words like “fleshpopsicle” and “whiteswallow”, it stands testament to the deepest depravity of the human soul.

But what does it mean? Some Diggers posited that it was a secret code word for pedophilia; this was a gag. What dark haunts of humanity’s black heart does it so perfectly encapsulate?

Unfortunately, the reality is so much more pedestrian: it was, of course, a copy-and-paste error from Verizon’s PDF of 43 (or, apparently, 42) words you can’t say on their network. The list spread two pages, between page 5 and 6. Page five’s denominator was caught in the Ctrl+C.

Truth is duller than fiction.

Verizon’s Content Policy PDF (Thanks, Ben O.)
Previously: Words You Can’t Say on Verizon Wireless: ‘5’