Dasani, The Opposite of Gross

Tom Bartlett quite enjoys writing letters to companies and asking questions of their laminated manual response team. Today, he’s got one from Dasani, Coca-Cola’s bottled water which contains the same water they use for Coke, just before they put in the bubbles.

(Sidebar, if you search for Dasani pictures with Google Safe Search off, you uh, find some unsafe pictures. How long before a company sues Google for contextual misrepresentation?)

    Dear Dasani,

    First of all, let me say how much I love your water. Clean, pure, refreshing — Dasani is the opposite of gross. Very good!

    I was wondering, though, what the word “Dasani” means. My cousin said it’s Latin for “tap water” but I think he’s lying. Besides, he’s not even my real cousin!

    Thanks in advance!

    All the best,

Coke’s reply, inside.

Thank you for contacting The Coca-Cola Company, Mr. Bartlett. We are always thrilled to hear from our loyal consumers and are glad that you took the time to share your comments about DASANI.

As a consumer-oriented Company, feedback from our consumers is extremely important to us.

People are having a lot of fun guessing the origin of the name DASANI. One Coca-Cola executive jokingly said it sounded like a “Roman god of water.” Actually, the name DASANI is an original creation. Consumer testing showed that the name is relaxing and suggests pureness and replenishment.

Again, we appreciate your loyalty and patronage. If you have additional questions or comments, please feel free to contact us again. Best wishes!

Industry and Consumer Affairs
The Coca-Cola Company

Dasani: honesty in a botle. From concept board to your mouth, we’re completely fake, and we feeling frisky about it!


Edit Your Comment

  1. Pelagius says:

    I always thought it had something to do with naiads – greedy naiads,
    who want to charge you money for one of earth’s basic resources.

  2. Chris says:

    I suspect the trademark infrintement suit would be against “Big Mouthfuls” or the like, though Google might get named, as well.

  3. Sephira says:

    while Dasani is not the name of a nymph, the name is an anagram of “naiads”, the freshwater nyphs of Greek mythology. still more creative than Evian. that’s just “naive” backwards.

  4. Cap says:

    Wikipedia says Dasani means “bag of water” in Ancient Hebrew. I think I’ll take Wiki’s non-cited source over Jennifer’s response.

  5. She forgot to apply it directly to her forehead.

  6. Tom Bartlett reminds me of the guy who wrote letters to Star Jones and ended up not getting a job because of it.


  7. RogueSophist says:

    Tom’s letter actually reads very much like those contained in “Idiot Letters” by Paul Rosa, a compilation of reasonably entertaining letters to companies and their (sometimes hilarious) responses. It’s an older book; not sure if it’s still being published.