AOL Streamliner: Internet With Splenda

AOL may release a new bundled service, Streamliner, designed to straddle its old and new identities.

Unlike previous envisionings of similar concepts, Streamliner is both easy to install and eco-friendly. Simply cut out a big piece of cardboard and crayon in sections for email, internet, media and IM. Place over your computer screen. Welcome to The Internet!


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  1. Vinny says:

    Wonder if they’re going to issue a streamlined retention process along with it.

  2. Papercutninja says:

    Is this going to put 50+ desktop shortcuts on my computer instead of the usual 100+?

    Aol sucks.

  3. I don’t know why, but I completely cracked up with that headline.

    It’s still AOL, no digg.

  4. Paula says:

    That’s so cute. Maybe now Grandma will use AIM!

  5. AcidReign says:

    …..Full subscription AOL folk like me have had the “privledge” of using web email for years. It’s nice to be able to access things when you aren’t on your own computer at home, but… It’s clunky and slow. And now, if you send email on it, you get stuff added to your outgoing email by the helpful ad folk, like this:

    Check out today. Breaking news, video search, pictures, email and IM. All on demand. Always Free.

    …..Nothing like paying $14.95 a month to have spam added to your email. Yeah, I know. Yahoo does it, too. Hasn’t happened with the paid login AOL software, yet, but I’m figuring it’s coming. Sigh.

  6. Demingite says:

    AOL has rarely missed an opportunity to junk-market. In a way, I’m surprised it took them that long to add spam to email. (I think that just happened a few weeks ago. I started noticing it in emails to me from a paying AOL subscriber whose emails had always been “clean” before.) To me — and probably thousands, maybe millions of others — it is another reason to never, ever, ever visit The clutter and distraction is most unwelcome.

    AOL seems to fail to put into their calculations the very real resentment factor that builds up with forced exposure to ad or marketing clutter. I don’t know if I’ve ever known any company, operating in any medium, that was so thoughtlessly unrestrained in imposing advertising on paying customers. That alone, independent of their reprehensible practices regarding cancellations, has done incalculable damage in sullying their brand.

    For every dollar they’ve brought in through advertising, how many dollars have been lost in customers who resent the imposition (both money for AOL and money for the companies whose products AOL is hawking)? It’s impossible to put an actual figure on such a quantity, but that doesn’t change the reality and significance of the phenomenon.

    And of course AOL doesn’t just have obvious ads. Marketing — e.g., of new movies — gets presented as news, too. Or it shows up in polls or surveys (e.g., Which character from a certain TV show — that coincidentally has been turned into a new movie — are you most like?) And heaven forbid anyone ever use AOL’s search engine…there’s a reason AOL practically tried to force people at gunpoint to use it.

  7. AcidReign says:

    …..Advertising is creeping in on paid customers everywhere. I quit drinking Coke due to having to watch their stupid commercials before the movie at the theatre. And I’m now seeing DVDs that play ads automatically before delivering you to the menu. (At least you can skip them, for now…) Ads on Cable TV channels are as numerous as those on any commercial broadcast station.