Drunk Continental Captain: “How Dry I Am!”

“Thish ish ya capawhatchamacallit shpeakin…” a voice over the cabin intercom slurs. Looking out the window, you can’t help but notice a landing 747 dropping down out of the sky straight on top of you. Your dilating left eye spasms involuntarily.

Just the nightmare scenario Continental Airlines was trying to avoid after they removed a pilot from the cockpit of flight 706 from Houston to Tampa when stewardesses noticed that his breath reeked of booze.

The pilot was given a blood-alcohol test that was “above the limit for pilots”. That’s probably anything above 0.00%

Hey, we know pilots have a stressful job, but when you are the man who is responsible for guiding a 20 ton hunk of metal filled with people in a control fall out of the sky, we damn well expect you to take the edge off in the time-honored method of sober pilots: in-flight fellatio from the hottest stewardess.

Continental Airlines Pilot Removed From Flight [Click2Houston.com]


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  1. Ben Popken says:

    Austin writes:

    “Actually, the FAA regulations only require that a pilot have a blood alcohol content less than 0.04! (See http://ecfr.gpoaccess.gov/cgi/t/text/text-idx?c=ecfr&sid=a… for the actual regulation.) Every airline I know of, however, has much more restrictive internal standards that, at the least, dictates a minimum period before flying during which the flight crew cannot consume any alcohol (frequently referred to as the “bottle to throttle” time), which in theory should have a pilot well below a 0.04 BAC by the time they make it on to the flight deck, and most airlines go further and have a ‘zero-tolerance’ policy as well.”

  2. Papercutninja says:

    Usually it’s 12 hours before a flight.

  3. BFRANK2 says:

    My father was a co-pilot in a flight where the pilot had been consuming alcohol before a scheduled commercial flight. This was a smaller commuter airline so I’m not sure what the regulations were for BAC back in the 1980’s.They ended up crashing 1/4 mile short of the runway and my father and other passengers perished in the flight. The pilot survived and we’ve never heard from him, no apology, no recognition to his contribution to the accident. It came out in trial that the pilot had three previous DUI’s and never had his pilots license suspended. I hope Continental and the FAA strip this guy of his flying rights…..he obviously didn’t take his responsibility seriously enough.