Clear Channel Introduces One-Second Radio Ads

ClearChannel, the troglodytic overlord of commercial radio, is introducing a new format for radio advertising. These one-second radio ads will be called “Blinks.” Besides the obvious synaesthesia seizures the mixed metaphor will inevitably cause, some observers are less than pleased.

To ClearChannel VP-Creative Jim Cook’s remark that, “It really is to find new uses of radio for advertisers who are continually asking us to demonstrate that our medium can successfully extend brands, can successfully reach the consumer with touchpoints that are new and surprising,” our everloving stick-in-the-mud Copyranter responds, “Touchpoints. Nice touch, you marketing lexiconic Douche. The Intel chime and NBC bells are listed among the possible mnemonics. Me, I’m hearing a lot of random, annoying AFLACs in my head right now.”

In related news, introduced one-second vomit bags.

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