UPDATE: Oh Bun Pain!

Remember that crumbling, soggy, disgusting Au Bon Pain letter we made you eat last month?

Well it’s got resolution and italics. Also, the author has been revealed to not just be some random “MB” but none other than Kelly Ann Collins! A celebrity complaint. Bully for us. The ABP area director wrote her back, along with complimentary lunch coupons:

    “I am very sorry that everything about your visit was poor. I can’t imagine how upset I would be if my soup, sandwich and drink were all horrible. I have spoken with the General Manager and he is looking into not only how this happened but is putting in procedures to insure it never happens again, i.e. temping soup every 2 hours, retraining the sandwich makers, and checking the calibration of the soda machine.”

You calibrate that soda machine, sumnabitch.

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After the Pain” [Ask KAC]

UPDATE: Well, we don’t read bylines. We thought because the blog was called Ask Kelly Collins, she wrote the complaint letter and followup. Actually, it was her editorial assistant who had the ABP experience. And thus lands the cherry bomb atop our week of shame.


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  1. ModerateSnark says:

    Oh, a magazine writer/blogger celebrity. Ok.

    She does appear to have one (1) credit at imdb, though.

  2. Ben Popken says:

    Kelly Ann Collins writes:

    “Hi there, Consumerists!

    I wasn’t the one that wrote the Au Bon Pain complaint, it was actually my talented editorial assistant, Editorial Dude. He just started working with me not too long ago.( After the Pain posted by Editorial Dude at 6/09/2006 )

    Editorial Dude recently moved to DC from NYC, where he used to frequent ABP. So, at his suggestion (b/c he’d always had good experiences in NYC), we went to the 19th & M Street ABP here in DC. But each time it just seem to get nastier and nastier.

    As far as my experience … I am a salad person, but, since biting into some disgusting gristle in my ABP chicken salad, I can say I’ve not had a salad since. In fact, thinking about it makes me ill and I am still considering going all-out vegan, Peta-style. Cartilage in chicken can change a woman.

    Regarding the drinks … Editorial Dude actually drank some soda out of the ABP 19/M fountain. I don’t drink anything out of any sort of soda machine because if not cleaned properly, they can become a breeding ground for things that are certainly not privileged enough to touch my lips. ;-o So when I was at ABP with Editorial Dude, I reached for the bottle — no, not the Grey Goose … the Perrier.

    So that’s the correction. Thank you so much for the great blog entry … you all have a great sense of humor … besides, my headshot totally matches your site’s color scheme. That’s hot. ;-p

    Here’s to avoiding gristly frozen chicken,