Tom is not our friend anymore. Neither is MAGIC CYCLOPS, ElectroBOOBIES, Larry TEE or Mr. Pacman.

We just canceled our Myspace profile. Or at least, initialized the proceedings. We are scheduled to receive an email shortly containing instructions we must follow to complete the cancellation. Thank you.

We don’t even use Myspace anymore, really. It was cool two years ago when we promoted parties. It helped get the word out and we could “monitor the scene.” Now that we have a real job *cough cough,* it sits as an internet artifact to a life we once led, a vestigial ligament, and a catch basin for the odd acquaintance who decides to send us a message through it, arriving with the charm of a telegram.

But mainly it’s a way for crappy bands and stupid people we’ve never heard of to market themselves to us. Which we were relatively okay with, we just set it so we don’t get notifications anymore. But then Myspace got creepy.

Our little brother and sister are on it. It got sold to Murdoch and the renovations began. Currently, the homepage is swathed in X-men. We hate X-men. And recent reports that schools are using Myspace to spy on their students, and even punish them for things said and done there have made us furious. Raging. Party’s over, kids.

We refuse to support this system, even as a passive “friendship” node.

Goodbye, Myspace. You are a loser.

After the jump, the step by step screenshots of cancelling one’s profile….

Step 1

Step 2

Step 3

Step 4

Step 5

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