Two Retarded Turtle Doves in a Pickle Tree

• Fourteen passengers arrested after moving from economy to first-class. The four hours on the blazing tarmac may have influenced their consumer disobedience.

• “United Flight 787 was forced to land at Denver International Airport after the flight crew detected an unknown odor… Authorities later determined the odor came from a passenger who was doing her nails on the flight.”


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  1. B Borrman says:

    You might try reading the whole article. The United aircraft had acetone in the cargo bay.

    Captain smells acetone in the cabin, is concerned the cargo spilled, decides not to risk a fire or other problem and lands.

    It was absolutely the right thing to do.

  2. homerjay says:

    Oh absolutely the PILOT did the right thing. The passenger, however, was a total dumbass- and you don’t need to read the article to see that.

  3. Das Ubergeek says:

    Other than the total insensitive jackassery of doing your nails in a place where there’s no source of fresh air, what’s wrong with what the passenger did?

    It’s nobody’s fault, but I have to say that I might have asked the cabin crew to make sure nobody was doing their nails before radioing in a mayday call.

  4. matto says:

    i would have kicked that woman’s teeth in.

  5. homerjay says:

    OTHER THAN the total insensitive jackassery?
    Thats not enough???

  6. OkiMike says:

    You would think that at least one flight attendant would have seen the lady doing her nails and known about it.

    Those fuckers in pretty uniforms really aren’t looking at things in detail. Like when they do the seat belt “check”; They wag their heads back and forth as they saunter down the aisle. But are they really looking at you or are they thinking about that mid-air fuck they’ve planned with the cute new flight attendant with the D-cup chest in the aft lavatory

  7. matto says:

    omg. mike, is that you!?

  8. Das Ubergeek says:

    No, that’s not enough. Stop and think about causality here. The woman was painting her nails, so the pilot does an emergency landing? If she’d been painting her nails and there hadn’t been acetone in the cargo hold, would the pilot have emergency landed? No.

    That said, the best punishment for the woman would have been a blanket party in the rear galley, given by the other passengers.