Disney DVD Players Explode, Maim Obnoxious Children

That Disney brand portable DVD player you use to pacify a hyperventilating toddler on your next cross-country flight is the equivalent of handing him a frag grenade to play with.

The Consumer Product Safety Commission has ordered a recall of the product on the grounds that the battery can overheat, causing it to explode and the Toy Story DVD inside to transform into a shrapnel storm of molten metal shards, impaling eyeballs, slicing through sinew and decapitating noggins.

The recall was issued when the commission received 17 reports of batteries overheating with three reports of minor skin irritations and three reports of minor property damage.

The time bombs in question are the Princess, Mickey Mouse, Mickey Classic, Fairy Flowers and Power Rangers models. The perfect birthday gift for that obnoxious little twerp in your neighborhood!

Disney brand DVD players recalled [Yahoo News]