UPDATE: Secret Spam Message!

Hey, remember that “spam from the future” we told you about last week? The message contained is so powerful, so advanced… it crashes Thunderbird, our email program. All day long, Thunderbird crashed through the canopy, over and over again, cracking goose eggs like our skull banging on the desk as we futilely attempted to mine the tip line.

Turns out the squiggly, seldom-used ASCII characters are the result of a Japanese character set being dumped into our puny American email. The Japanese are so industrious and hard-working, they’re already on the year 2038! Oh yeah, and it was porn.

What really burned our electronic biscuit was a malformed header that caused Thunderbird to lock up harder than our jaw after we got bit by that rusty prostitute in Reno.

In the end, we had to access our email system through a web-based interface (Squirrel Mail), delete all the spam, and then we were able to hear your consumer screams once again. Ah, the music.

Previously: Secret Message!