Kids Who Wear Alcohol-Branded Shirts More Likely To Get Loaded

That small child wearing the “I’m not as think as you drunk I am” t-shirt might be more likely to engage in pre-teen boozing, according to a recent Dartmouth Medical School study.

2400 kids from 10-14 were polled and those who owned lots of alcohol branded products like bags or shirts were fifty percent more likely to end up sharing a bottle of cheep hooch in a gutter.

The author of the report, Dr. Auden McClure, is quick to caution that this doesn’t actually mean that Budweiser hoodies somehow hypnotically cause children to start slamming down forties. But the evidence is “strong enough that we’re saying, ‘Let’s be cautious.'”

Of course, European that royal-we-but-not-Ben-Popken are, we’re always bemused by America’s loathing of the alcohol bogeyman. Kids as young as 10 drinking isn’t really a problem, believe it or not: it’s kids as young as 10 drinking irresponsibly and without supervision that’s a problem. There’s a reason kids are drawn to alcohol branded products and it’s because it’s a silly taboo. Teach kids how to drink responsibly as early as possible and that taboo goes away. Education, not abject hysteria, is usually the answer to most of life’s little social problems.

Kids who wear alcohol logos start drinking sooner [Reuters]