Kids Who Wear Alcohol-Branded Shirts More Likely To Get Loaded

That small child wearing the “I’m not as think as you drunk I am” t-shirt might be more likely to engage in pre-teen boozing, according to a recent Dartmouth Medical School study.

2400 kids from 10-14 were polled and those who owned lots of alcohol branded products like bags or shirts were fifty percent more likely to end up sharing a bottle of cheep hooch in a gutter.

The author of the report, Dr. Auden McClure, is quick to caution that this doesn’t actually mean that Budweiser hoodies somehow hypnotically cause children to start slamming down forties. But the evidence is “strong enough that we’re saying, ‘Let’s be cautious.'”

Of course, European that royal-we-but-not-Ben-Popken are, we’re always bemused by America’s loathing of the alcohol bogeyman. Kids as young as 10 drinking isn’t really a problem, believe it or not: it’s kids as young as 10 drinking irresponsibly and without supervision that’s a problem. There’s a reason kids are drawn to alcohol branded products and it’s because it’s a silly taboo. Teach kids how to drink responsibly as early as possible and that taboo goes away. Education, not abject hysteria, is usually the answer to most of life’s little social problems.

Kids who wear alcohol logos start drinking sooner [Reuters]


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  1. CatMoran says:

    Which is the cause, and which is the effect? Maybe kids who already drink are more likely to wear products advertising their favorite alcohol beverage. Or the beverage they’d like to drink, if only they got a better allowance.

    Anyway, at least a 10yo isn’t likely to be driving a car after drinking.

  2. Paul D says:

    Obviousman strikes again.

  3. Bubba Barney says:

    Just let the kid(s) get really drunk so that they have a horrible hangover. That will make them not want to drink again.

  4. Megan Trigg says:

    Oh yeah, because the hangover deterrent works really well on the nation’s college student population.

  5. non-meat-stick says:

    You really think College students are smarter than 10-14 year olds? Give the kids a chance, it’s too late for the frat boys…

  6. Bubba Barney says:

    I agree with Meat Stick.