Exciting News from the World of Spam

Move over Flinstone’s, there’s a new chewable in town and it ain’t for kids.

Let loose the horsemen! The seventh seal has been broken! Atlas shrugs, yes, it’s it’s… NEW CHEWABLE VIAGRA. Duhn duh duhn!

“Viagra Soft Tabs are mint flavored soft tablets for the treatment of male erectile dysfunction. They are equivalent to regular Viagra

, however due to their soft formulation, they are absorbed directly into the bloodstream,” reads the website offering “Special Internet Prices” (who knew reading your spam could be so informative?).

The next logical step is to go the way of Altoids and Listerine and concoct dissolving Viagra mouth strips. Or, darn it all to heck and back in a Chevy droptop, do some ecstasy rails.

Of course, the chewable Viagras are bound to fail. It’s target audience has a hard enough time gnawing through the all-bran Quaker Oatmeal in the morning.

UPDATE: Inspired, Mark Duffy wrote in some killer taglines:
“Getting Harder Has Never Been Softer.”
“The Chewable Way To Be Fuckable.”
“By The Time You Swallow, It Will Be Her Turn…”