Which came first, the chicken or the egg? Which came first, the cock or the bull? Which came first, the ineptitude or the incompetence? All valid questions to ask oneself, and the universe, when calling Dell tech support.

Wes needed to replace his monitor, but tech support wanted the “Dell Express Code” written on the computer. But he didn’t buy a computer, he only had the monitor. Thank you sir, they said, would you please then read the express code written on the computer?

Wes’s story after the jump is just further proof why deconstructionism shouldn’t just be a literary theory, but a lifestyle choice for navigating modern society…

Wes writes:

I recently had a technical problem with one of the widescreen flat-panel monitirs Dell has been selling. It took about 10 minutes of hunting around to find a number to call, then after calling it, the automated system had me stuck. I didn’t have an mp3 player, projector, TV, printer, or a computer system. I just had a monitor. Not a Dell computer.

I hit system after giving up on finding a “monitor-only” option. Spoke with a person, was transferred, spoke with another person, was transferred, and spoke with a third person. We went through the usual troubleshooting and (surprise) my monitor needed to be replaced. He asked me (for the fourth time in the call) to give him my Dell Express Service code. I told him I didn’t have one on the monitor. He said he knew and to tell him the one on my computer. I told him that I didn’t purchase a Dell computer (this happened honestly four times). The fourth time, I gave in and read off an express service code from a Dell computer I had in my closet from 2000. He thanked me and we continued on. He later said that he wasn’t able to progress through the computer system to issue a return until the computer’s express service code was entered. For a monitor return. Dell is wanting to sell their monitors I’m sure.

But heaven forbid you didn’t get a desktop with it.

-Wes”

Well it all would’ve been alright if you hadn’t broke your monitor, now wouldn’t it Wes? Maybe you’ll think a little harder next time before treating your toys so poorly?

Or maybe he’ll just think harder next time before buying from Dell.

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