What if we sent in the full remaining balance on all our credit cards? Every single person in America, paid… off… alllllllll their credit card debt. Our Amex’s, Discovers, Visas, Mastercards. All of them.

Would the heavens open and rainbow ponies feverishly lick our 16th chakras while massaging our seventh?

Or would the world implode into a fiery ball of cockroach eggs, and a few survivors converted into driveling minions haunting the hallways of eternity? And flogging. Somewhere there’s a whole bunch of flogging going on, too.

MSNBC explains that the true answer is something more closely akin to the later. That’s what happens when you’re a journalist with both Bill Gates and a giant fascist peacock as your boss.

UPDATE: Paying off a large chunk of your credit card debt can get Homeland Security concerned and on your ass.

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