Micro Kvetch: Four Complaints, Four Answers

Our inaugural short-order rant roundup, christened in by one Bill Green. He’s a designer cum art director, so you know he
s got an exacto knife to grind.

  • Quizno
    s – if there
    s a more expensive sandwich run through a broiler that takes 2 months to make prepared by trainees, I haven
    t found it.
  • Home Depot – Thank God the only entrance to their store is conveniently located. Why don
    t they just put the freaking entrance around the back of the building, instead of all the way over to either the right or left of their stores.
  • Home Depot Part Deux – If they could have [fewer] registers open for more customers, thus clogging the center lane with contractors and their 50 sheets of plywood, that
    d be the icing on the cake.
  • Verizon – I just need a phone, not a 21-member family plan, add-on extra-minute monthly prorated upsale to something else.
  • Any software company that offers insane price cuts for educational versions. And the oil companies gouge? Here
    my full-on rant about THAT sore spot with me.

Bill, the reason why it takes Quizno
s so long is that all their employees are just those floating, singing rat squibs dressed up in human suits. Looking over Las Vegas
shoulder, Home Depot places the entrances and exits in awkward places so as to confuse and entrap you in a desperate home improvement spiral whose only escape is the purchase of more grout sealer. Verizon, inspired by capitalism, is the worst cell phone company except for all the others. Regarding exorbitant Adobe prices
let us introduce you to a little black cabal best known by its playful euphemism, file

Add your best shotgun kvetching via email or comments. If they strike a chord with us, we might even grace you with useless but amusing answers in a future edition of ‘Micro Kvetch.’