Gay Musical Writer Intolerant of Receipts

Like most gay aerobic instructors/writers of musical theater, Joel Derfner doesn’t need any damn receipts for his batteries. Duane Reed, as it turns out, doesn’t need want his pink slips in return.

“Don’t worry, I don’t need a receipt,” Joel puncuated as the cashier punched up his purchase. “The woman behind the counter appeared not to have heard me, however” he reports on his blog, “because when she handed me my batteries the receipt was right there in her hand.

“Oh, that’s okay,” I said, with slightly more volume. “I don’t need the receipt.”

She looked at me blankly for a moment. “Well, I don’t really need it either,” she said.

I grabbed the batteries and receipt and stalked out of the store.

At the time her insolence enraged me but thinking about it now I find it pretty funny.”

Joel is writing a musical called Terezin, about the Nazi propaganda camp of the same name. Incidentally, Nazis loved to keep receipts for everything, including homosexuals.

Duane Reed doesn’t need it either [ The Search for Love in Manhattan via Gawker]


Edit Your Comment

  1. OkiMike says:

    When that happens to me, I play the “retarded baby” game:

    Hold out the receipt in one hand and lower it slowly to the register counter. Then, while not breaking concentration on the receipt, let go of it as it comes to rest on the counter in front of the retarded baby.

    Then look deep into their eyes and say slowly and deliberately, “Thank you.”

  2. dukerayburn says:

    Maybe I’m missing the point here, but what’s the point of denying the receipt? Take it with your batteries, walk away, and then throw it in the nearest convenient trashcan. They’re amazingly prolific, these trash receptacles. You’ll just find them everywhere.

  3. Paul D says:

    I think the point may be to slowly but surely get retailers to STOP printing receipts unless they are specifically requested. I would estimate that the vast majority of printed receipts are an enormous waste of paper.

  4. Papercutninja says:

    While i understand the waste of paper, but can you imagine how long the lines will become once they’re done asking EACH and EVERY person if they want a receipt? Just throw it the fuck out and stop complaining for the sake of complaining. And also stop plugging your play.

  5. Sir Winston Thriller says:

    Waiting for the Consumerist post from someone complaining that the store they shop at DOESN’T give out receipts, thereby giving them a reason to bitch about something else unimportant…

  6. DeeJayQueue says:

    it should also be said that a receipt is just that, a receipt for goods purchased. It’s not so necessary on small stuff like batteries or a sandwich, but what would you do if you lost it and had to return something bigger, like the jeans you bought or the new HDTV. A lot of places have policies that give customers something free if they don’t get a receipt with their order. It’s akin to a bill of sale. Without the receipt, you can’t prove the transaction ever took place.

  7. Kornkob says:

    Sure seems to me that giving a retail worker a hard time about offering a reciept is not going to create change. After all, what does the head office care if their front line workers are miserable because a few intolerant people are rude to them? Heck, I doubt that the coprorate headquarters will ever hear about the kind of customer that is a jerk to the cahsier about a slip of paper.

    If you’re going to affect a change regarding the issuance of reciepts it’s not going to happen by being rude to the cahsier– it’s going to be by organizing a grass roots campaign that embarasses the company in the press AND shows them how they profit from the change.

    Of course, one could use this as an excuse to be an ass to an underpaid minion of giant retailers but I choose to build up a little positive karma by being respectful to strangers.

  8. flyover says:

    • I bought a doughnut from a store and they gave me a receipt for the doughnut. I don’t need a receipt for the doughnut. Man, I’ll just give you money, then you give me the doughnut. End of transaction. We don’t need to bring ink and paper into this. I just can’t imagine a scenario where I would have to prove that I bought a doughnut. Some skeptical friend: “Don’t even act like I didn’t get that doughnut, I’ve got the documentation right here. Oh wait, it’s at home, in the file… under D… for doughnut”
    -mitch hedberg

  9. dukerayburn says:

    Haha. God rest his soul.

    Another thing that should be taken into consideration is the fact that if Joel Derfner had just taken and kept the receipt normally, he could take it home and file it in a drawer for tax write-offs. Anything a theatre artist purchases in the way of entertainment can be written off as research for his/her work. A battery powers an mp3 player that allows Joel to attain inspiration, and it’s thusly a write-off.

    I love being an actor.

  10. milk says:

    Many cashiers are required to distribute receipts. Ours are. There are trash cans around each cashier station, but people feel it’s too demanding to turn 180 degrees and drop it in. It’s bureaucracy in action. Don’t take it out on the little guys.