Victoria’s Secret to Customers: “Your Breasts Are Too Large To Shop Here”

This just in. Victoria’s Secret is launching a systematic attack of intimidation, isolation and humiliation… on women with enormous cans.

“I went into Victoria’s Secret to purchase a bra set and was told they didn’t sell in my size and to go to a Lane Bryant Store. Or I could buy a catalog for $5.00 to purchase my size,” Babette, of Dewitt, Iowa, told

“I know I was discriminated against my size due to the fact that was told to go elsewhere to make my purchase.”

That last sentence can take awhile to parse, so I’ll translate for you: Victoria’s Secret is redirecting its largest breasted patrons to the Lane Bryant store in Iowa, forthwith known by all men by its classical name, “Xanadu”.

To be fair, there does appear to have been a remarkable surge in nastiness amongst Victoria’s Secret employees lately. But who can supress a titter when reading a quote like this?

“Because of the winter rain, I wore a heavy black wool coat with pockets and was holding my gloves and car keys in my hand. While I rummaged through the sale bins, my gloves fell on the floor, so I put them and my keys into my pocket for safekeeping. All of a sudden, four or five snotty teenagers dressed in black come out from the woodwork asking if I need help,” Anne told

Snotty teenage boys hanging out in a lingerie store, asking stray women if they need any “help”. Otherwise known as the Beavis and Butt-head pick-up method.

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