We haven’t worn hose since an ill-fated early teen experiment at picking up chicks at the local Renaissance Festival. (Our peers were wearing hose on their arms as an expression of their gothy angst, which while surprisingly similar in execution to our own costume, was infinitely more effective in picking up chicks.)

So with that caveat, may we recommend Slate’s ‘Which pantyhose are best?‘ column, filled with pleasing images like “sausagelike discomfort.” We didn’t know ‘sausagelike’ was even a proper word. That would have been useful to know at the Ren Fest.

And even though our bitchy sisters might infer that this piece if a bit of puff, we’re pretty impressed. Not only does Kelly Alexander have the nylon-nestled balls to give a few brands of stockings failing grades, she even sneaks in a bit of hosery history.

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