Customer Avoids Murdering Humpy UPS Employee

Dan B writes:

I live on the Upper East Side, land of white glove service, i-bankers, snotty teenagers and private schools. One institution in my neighborhood however stands out for its commitment to shoddy, who-gives-a-crap service, my local UPS Store.

On a recent morning I went in to ship my new digital camera to a Sony repair center in Connecticut. I packaged the camera in the original box with a sticker stating the destination. Our UPS Store employee of the month takes the box and instead of placing it on the counter while he enters the destination into the computer, uses his hips to keep the box safely wedged between his body and the counter while he occasionally glances downward and types the address and weight. While he is dry humping my box and typing he realizes that I left the building number off the address label. Initially I am unconvinced and assure him that I copied the information directly from the Sony repair paperwork. I ask for the package back to double check the address. He says that he is going to send it anyway, and assures me that it will come back, undeliverable. He keeps talking about how it’s going to come back until I am finally able to persuade him to give it back to me so I can open the box up and access the repair paperwork inside. Grudgingly, he slides it across the counter. I ask for a scissor to open the box. At this point I am presented with an 8″ kitchen knife with which to open my box. After not deciding to turn the knife on myself or our friendly UPS store employee, I pry out the paperwork which reveals that he is indeed correct. I am conciliatory, after all there’s a knife on the table, he shrugs and says “I knew it,” and prints me a receipt.

I already wrote a letter to UPS informing them that while I’ve never had a problem with their company I will happily take my package to the copy shop down the block where I can choose from a host of their competitors.