I'm surprised eHarmony would bother with this dubious divorce "verification",they do no verification whatsoever of what you initially enter (how would they know my race, marital status or anything but my standing with the credit bureaus?). How could it be worth their while? They are not in the background check business.

I agree eHarmony has a creepy pedigree and their mysterious "worthiness" criteria is puzzling. It's overpriced and there are some truly odd results from their algorithm. And their survey thing IS endless and tedious. Still, for me they only had to get it right that once that mattered, I love that woman.

ForDisplayOnly

ChuckECheese

@theblackdog: You and me both ... except it would have to have been a girl in the commercial. (Didn't find my GF through match.com, though)

scarletvirtue

MrBiggles

PEOPLE ARE NOT PRODUCTS.

Also, a Mr. Orwell called for you.

I've never dealt with eHarmony, because they're a) religious and b) discriminatory, plus I think I'm far more likely to meet someone I'll love by doing things I love than by sifting through the desperate people online; BUT, if they check on divorces without doing criminal background checks, they're either idiots, or only *trying* to look like they care, rather than actually caring, about the quality of their--*shudder*--"product".

Mary Marsala with Fries

unklegwar

Don't hate so much and maybe you'll find real love.

Rey

To EHarmony

Wow. Nevermind.

Best. Consumer. Letter. EVER.

Rectilinear Propagation

I went to match.com and found a couple sane people that were at least local.

ThunderRoad

and one week later I'm getting a "free" subscription to a magazine I did not ask for...

RL friends are your best bet to find that special "someone"

RookOmega

jjason82

Trai_Dep

"Nope, still gay."

I used Match.com (they own Chemistry.com BTW) and ended up finding my boyfriend of 6 months now :-)

theblackdog

consumedchick

How sad it must be to be you.

marsneedsrabbits

Something tells me that Morgan only had problem with providing this information because she isn't really divorced. If she is actually divorced, I don't see a reason to withhold that information from them since divorce decrees are public record.

ecwis

ecwis

veronykah

I've read 1 out of 3 women have sex on their first date on these sites and 50% of them unprotected..

hanoverfiste

scarletvirtue

"We will protect you from the gay and the married." (Though not from the folks who lie and say otherwise.)

Landru

BaysideWrestling

Without an explicit statement, I can get the gist of what they're saying - "If you're single, we'll help you find a mate. If you're married, we'll help you stay that way."

humphrmi

But really, they are probably doing her a favor by not letting her use their expensive and crappy site when there are free ones out there that are better.

Melsky

BLANDspace

nXt

Seriously, there's just no pleasing some people.

thalia

That's got to be one of the worst dating websites out there.

MightyCow

veronykah

I'm not sure which I hate more... the casual hypocritical Christian who cares enough to interfere with the progression of science but not so much as to interfere with his profits or the militant, non-hypocritical one that makes only the most assiduous efforts to conform to the brainless, useless principles of his faith.

They both should die in a fire... but which deserves it more?

shikaningen

@ecocoaster: I may have missed a specific comment you were referring to, and if so I apologize, but I don't think that anyone was accusing eHarmony of discriminating against non-conservatives; most everything I've seen said that eHarmony was an extremely conservative company - and by my understanding Dr. Warren is a reliable republican donor. But I could be wrong.

@humphrmi: Absolutely right, we may not like it, but it's not illegal. My problem is that they don't enforce this across all members, they just seem to have targeted this woman. If they did it for every applicant, then at least you know what you're getting into. They just seemed to have capriciously applied this standard to this woman; that's what I have a problem with.

ptbartel

clarkbarr

Ecoaster

pinkpuppet

TechnoDestructo

@deb35802: How sad for you. :(

BigBoat

deb35802

I stopped going to dating websites cause of all the men there who claimed to be single but once I got to chatting with them either I would figure out or they would admit they were married and just looking for some side action.

Its unreal the married men that have IM'd me when I've been online. Its gotten to the point where one of the first questions I ask them is "Are you married?" Most of the at least have the decency to tell me the truth and then I tell them goodbye!

deb35802

humphrmi

The Dude

kdollarsign

ptbartel

M3wThr33

Match.com is where I met my last soulmate.

JN2

marsneedsrabbits

WRXChick

Trai_Dep

BLANDspace

modenastradale

I thought it was funny.
Maybe it's just me.

William Mize

BLANDspace

ViewableOnTheSite

Any chance that Drgirlfriend is now Drexgirlfriend?

RandomHookup

TPS Reporter

ChuckECheese

dating the old-fashioned way: Throwing on a few gold chains, popping out your collar and heading to the local watering hole.

ChuckECheese

AstroPig7

jjeeff

er, any single, 20-something female billionaires who look like Paris Hilton interested in long walks on the beach?

cronick

er, any single, 20-something female billionaires who look like Paris Hilton interested in long walks on the beach?

cronick

Here's the thing, using other sites, I actually *have* met some pretty decent women. I have paid for and used yahoo and match in the past, and out of curiosity, I registered (though never subscribed to) chemistry.com. Yahoo seems to be the most honest, or at least I never felt like I was being scammed there. The majority of messages sent out receive either no response or rejection, but I'd say at least 15-20% lead to actual conversations and of those probably 70-80% lead to actual dates and least 50% of those have led to second (and more) dates. On match.com, 30 attempts at communication resulted in two replies. One was a dead end of IM conversations with a girl that was stuck on a previous boyfriend and the other led to a dead-end of a first date with a girl that seemed really stuck on herself. I was a member of chemistry.com for all of 10 minutes. If the matches they sent me were any indication, maybe they should change their policy of not rejecting anyone. There's no way I would pay for access to their user base.

Anyway, my point is that it's no big loss to be rejected by eharmony. That site's a joke. In fact any site that asks you to pay to subscribe has it in their interest to keep you from meeting anyone. There are some freesites out there (I hear a lot of bad stuff about craigslist but plentyoffish seems like it might be legit) but ultimately, if you're going to use online dating, you're going to have to be ready to deal with a majority of respondants who are a waste of time. I recommend meeting soon rather than spending a lot of time exchanging emails or IM's or phone calls because people are different in person. Good luck.

dangermike

Trai_Dep

Anyone remember SNL's spoof of this called "Me-Harmony?"
[www.nbc.com]

sickofthis

Providing it is no big deal..

benh57

Trai_Dep

A matchmaking service is a private company that no one is forced to do business with. You can use them or not, your choice. They can ask whatever they want.

Why does it bother you? Are you a convicted felon who's pretending to be single but is actually still married and has multiple genetic flaws?

MaelstromRider

Asking her to take the questionnaire again, not a problem. But new members aren't required to send in documentation, so why should she have to do that just to continue using the account she already signed up for?

morganlh85

I guess the important question to ask here is e-harmony any more successful at matching compatible people than other inclusive sites.

Geekybiker

This eHarmony crap sounds like too much work.

Fracking elitists.

zingbot

unohoo

dragonfire81

Personally, what creeps me out the most about them is the fact that the couples in their ads almost all look eerily alike. Not only are they pretty consistently the same broad racial category, but they usually have almost always have similar features, the same skin tone, body type, etc.

So I figure I wouldn't need eHarmony even if I were on the market for something like that. I have two brothers, and I know how to get in contact with them already.

spanky

Moreover, I really don't think this is complaint worthy. Although I don't agree with many of eHarmony's exclusionary practices, I side with them on this one. I don't think it's too much for a dating site to require that its members are single and otherwise unattached. Or that after a year since the first application, a member resubmit another one.

Lambasted

QuartilaNoppit

RichardMamercus

It only costs $50 do a full public records check on someone (without thier consent or knowledge), which I would probably be spending anyway rather than trusting a dating website's due diligence anyway.

deimos3211

timmus

timmus

As a gay person I set up a profile pretending I was a woman just to spite them. I only did half the questrionare though...

But life isn't about a secret detective or eHarmony doing a background check on your date but rather you trust your intuition. And learning to trust other people because it won't be pretty when your 'trust' in eHarmony or detectives goes sour. Your trusting someone, so why not your spouse.

LJKelley

SpiderJerusalem

SpiderJerusalem

Also, everything Curmudgeon5 said.

They totally wouldn't ask someone filling out their initial survey to provide proof of divorce.

SpiderJerusalem

iMike

eHarmony has a right to protect its integrity by ensuring that their clients are on the up-and-up with regard to marital status. I'd be pissed if I dated a "divorced" man through them that was only really separated. Maybe I'm old-fashioned, but I don't consider a marriage to be over until the ink is dry on the divorce settlement.

Sasha_Pie

On the other hand, you have sites like match.com and Craigslist that seem to me to be little more than lists of "let's hook up" which isn't something I'm interested in. Yahoo and a lot of other sites have matching algorithms that are just awful.

This whole issue is a fascinating intersection of social and technical issues, and doesn't appear to have been very well solved.

fhic

camille_javal

I'm with everyone who doesn't see the big deal here. eHarmony has strict guidelines, that's why they make such a big deal out of themselves.

Not sure how match.com does these things, but then again, I found my partner the old-fashioned way (by making friends "IRL").

Meltingemail

That is a truly interesting choice of phrasing.

eHarmony is so damned creepy and artificial; when you meet people in real life, you have to run the risk that they're not being honest with you. The internet isn't the "freaks-only" place that it used to be, so you're meeting pretty much the same people.

I think Morgan's mom provided pretty much the right answer.

were I not engaged to some freak I met on the internet, I'd much prefer this site to eHarmony: No Longer Lonely

camille_javal

synergy

Dharma

vividblurry

joellevand

They want people that don't have severe social issues and they weed those out. They also will not accept anyone who's gay.

If you don't like it, use another service.

chiieddy

aphex242

aphex242

curmudgeon5

HOP

BaysideWrestling

mbouchard

Uh oh. Multiple DUIs and arrests for domestic violence. Oopsie. Guess he left that off his profile.

I think it's invasive for eharmony to ask all the details. Are they asking for all sorts of neb-nosed proof from every single person who clicks "divorced" when applying? I doubt it.

ninabi

It kind of made me wonder about the quality of the guys they have stocked up, if none were good enough for me. ;)

PinkBox

wring

snoop-blog

I've known several people've who've separated, but never bothered to finalise a divorce until they're ready to get remarried.

COELACANTH

macinjosh

I'm married and wouldn't use them anyway, but I tell all my single friends to use a different site.

MARTHA__JONES

BlogFather

eben56

While relationship are based on characters and individualities.

So clubs could be a start, but a person who enjoys same activities doesn't make you a spouse ;) On the other hand, maybe his brother/sister/friend will.

Meltdown

differcult

Nick1693

Seriously, eHarmony gets creepier and creepier. They are so conservative, so religious, and so intrusive when all yer trying to do is find somebody to go get coffee with.

Oh, wait, no you're not. Users of this site honestly are hoping for instant, no work relationship creation. That's the most disturbing thing of all.

Here's a tip, passionate people meet passionate people. Go join whatever sort of club, interest group or roundtable discussion suits your tastes and meet somebody the old fashioned way.

sicknick

MaelstromRider

It is also not unreasonable for them to ask her to fill out a new questionnaire after a year. Things change.

MaelstromRider