Sigh. FINE, Switzerland. You win... this time. (AP)

Wisconsinites Plunged Into Despair After A Swiss Emmentaler Nabs World’s Best Cheese Title

That headline is not a joke. Do I wish with my cheesiest of Wisconsin born and bred hearts that it was? Yes, because I can only imagine the depths of despair cheeseheads have been plunged into after a team of Swiss cheesemakers swooped in and grabbed the title of World Champion during this year’s competition on sacred dairy ground. Otherwise known as Madison, WI. [More]

McDonald’s Worker Will Have 29 Months Behind Bars To Regret Spitting In Cop’s Snack Wrap

McDonald’s Worker Will Have 29 Months Behind Bars To Regret Spitting In Cop’s Snack Wrap

In case any of you out there were considering depositing some saliva in a customer’s food today (or at any point in the future), remember that it’s not just gross, it’s illegal. And if you’re caught, you’ll lose your job and possibly your freedom. Just ask the former McDonald’s employee who will spend at least two years in jail for adding some secret sauce to a customer’s food. [More]

(Triborough)

As if you needed any more reason to visit Wisconsin (Home of Harley Davidson! Beer! Free snow every winter! People say “please” and “thank you”!), Milwaukee’ Department of Public Works is embarking on a pilot program this winter to figure out if cheese brine can be added to rock salt and applied to the streets. The one problem with this plan? The brine apparently has a distinctive odor. My guess is limburger. [Milwaukee Journal Sentinel]

Mysterious Rockin’ Grandma Awes Music Store Staff On Drums, Disappears

Mysterious Rockin’ Grandma Awes Music Store Staff On Drums, Disappears

A music store in Wisconsin claims that an elderly woman came into the shop to try a drum set and became an Internet viral video star. Who is she? Where did she learn to play? Will she join my band? All of these questions remain unanswered so far. All we have are two videos of her totally rocking out. [More]

Hello, lover.

We Live In A World Where This Towering Feat Of Meat, Cheese & Bloody Mary Only Costs $5

UPDATE: Not only is this impressive Bloody Mary real, as confirmed by the actual owner of the bar and the employee who crafts it, the special cocktail changes every month. Next up? Cinco de Mayo. Scroll down for the story on these puppies, straight from the creator’s mouth. [More]

(Glyn Lowe Photoworks)

Court: Texas Roadhouse Doesn’t Owe Customer $150K For Hair-Stuffed Steak

A customer at a Wisconsin Texas Roadhouse restaurant complained that his steak was overcooked, and a spiteful staffer who thought he was lying to scam free food stuffed pieces of his facial hair inside the meat. The same employee later claimed to have stuffed a steak with pubic hair. This story may sound familiar to old-school Consumerist fans: we posted it in 2008, and it appeared on our list of all-time grossest food stories. The hairy steaks are in the news again. What’s happened in the intervening four years? Lawsuits. [More]

Man Calls Police After Unsatisfying All-You-Can-Eat Fish Fry

Man Calls Police After Unsatisfying All-You-Can-Eat Fish Fry

Once again, the phrase “all you can eat” is at the center of a dispute between a restaurant and a hungry customer who says he was cut off without getting his fill of fried fish. [More]

High Five, Governor Scott Walker: Wisconsin Lost The Most Jobs Last Year

High Five, Governor Scott Walker: Wisconsin Lost The Most Jobs Last Year

A big pat on the back goes out to Governor Scott Walker of Wisconsin –¬†his state it posted the most job losses in a year, more losses than any other state in all of America. He happens to be facing a recall in Wisconsin in June, so many of his constituents might take that job-loss into account when casting ballots. [More]

Trying To Cook Your Own Meal At Denny's Will Probably Get You Arrested

If you’re in the mood for making your own burgers, we suggest picking up ingredients at a grocery store and trying it at home. We certainly don’t suggest what one Wisconsin man is accused of: Telling the staff at his local Denny’s that he was the new boss and then going straight to work in the kitchen. [More]

12-Year-Old Raises $10,500 To Save Grandma From Foreclosure

It’s such stuff as uplifting after-school specials are made on. A plucky Wisconsin tween recently managed to raise enough money to save his grandmother from losing a house that had been in the family for three generations. [More]

Wisconsin Rep Seeks To Repeal Anti-Margarine Law

Wisconsin Rep Seeks To Repeal Anti-Margarine Law

A Wisconsin state legislative rep who Googled “Stupid Wisconsin Laws” has introduced a bill to overturn one of the dumbest ones he found: a law that forbids “colored margarine” from being served at a restaurant unless a customer asks for it. [More]

Landlord Refuses To Rent To Single Mother Because There's No Man "To Shovel The Snow"

Landlord Refuses To Rent To Single Mother Because There's No Man "To Shovel The Snow"

A Wisconsin landlord has been sued by the US Department of Housing and Urban Development after refusing to rent a property to a single mother. The landlord, who is a woman, said it was because the renter didn’t have a man “to shovel the snow.” [More]

How A Call To Fix Clogged Toilet Spiraled Into $13,698 Plumbing Bill

How A Call To Fix Clogged Toilet Spiraled Into $13,698 Plumbing Bill

On March 31, a 73-year-old man in Wisconsin called a plumber to fix a clogged toilet. He says that a day later, on April 1, the plumbers handed him a bill for $13,698, but it was no April Fools Joke. Of course, this has all ended up in court, where the customer alleges employees at the plumbing business are told it’s part of their job to upsell additional work to the consumer. [More]

Wisconsin Supremes Reinstate Collective Bargaining Law

Wisconsin Supremes Reinstate Collective Bargaining Law

Wisconsin’s state labor activists suffered a major setback Tuesday. The Wisconsin state Supreme Court overruled a county judge and reinstated a law that strips tens of thousands of public workers of most of their collective bargaining. [More]

Strip Club Sign Declares "No Negro's Allowed"

Strip Club Sign Declares "No Negro's Allowed"

A soon-to-open strip club in Wisconsin has already begun riling up the locals, and not because of the scantily clad women inside. Instead, it’s a sign posted on the club’s door that makes it pretty clear that black people are not welcome. [More]

Mailman Tries To Liven Up The Holidays By Delivering Mail Naked

Mailman Tries To Liven Up The Holidays By Delivering Mail Naked

A mailman in Whitefish Bay, WI, thought he had the solution for cheering up one of the people on his route. Unfortunately for everyone involved, that solution was “deliver the mail bare-ass naked.” [More]

No Charges For Woman Who Bumped 100-Year-Old Walmart Greeter

No Charges For Woman Who Bumped 100-Year-Old Walmart Greeter

Last week, we told you about the woman in Milwaukee who was arrested after an argument with a 100-year-old Walmart greeter ended with the centenarian being sent to the hospital. Earlier today, the city’s district attorney said it will not be filing charges. [More]

Wisconsin Town Rejects Happy Meal Ban

Wisconsin Town Rejects Happy Meal Ban

While politicians in San Francisco go back and forth about whether or not to effectively ban the sale of kid’s meals that include toys, the city council of Superior, WI, has roundly dismissed a similar proposal. [More]