Starbucks just keeps trying to reinvent itself — and it seems that they’ve tried everything. The only thing left to do is just to stop being Starbucks. So that’s what they’re doing.
Southwest Airlines flight 2298 made an emergency landing in West Virginia yesterday after a hole appeared on the top of the plane while in flight. “Passengers reported that they could see the sky through the rupture,” writes the Washington Post. It left Nashville around 4:05pm, but landed only 50 minutes later. According to this WPRI video clip, Southwest spent the night inspecting 181 of its Boeing 737-300 jets, and they say there should be no delays today.
Jean-Jacques Dulugat learned yesterday why you should never let an unlicensed cabbie give you a lift from the airport. Police tried to stop Dulugat and his family as they got into a van driven by a pair of known solicitors, but the duo took off and led cops on a high-speed chase through Brooklyn…
A woman in Israel hid her life savings—she says nearly $1 million dollars—in her mattress. Her daughter bought her a new mattress as a surprise upgrade and threw it out. Dump employees are now searching on behalf of the family while security has been hired to keep out treasure hunters, but they don’t know which of the two city dumps it was taken to. We imagine it’s the one where the rats are all wearing tiny gold rings and toasting each other with little glasses of champagne.
If the NYT is to be believed, the CEO of Ryanair, one Michael O’Leary, was not kidding when he said that the low cost airline would be installing pay toilets on board their aircraft. In fact, it seems that these hypothetical toilets will be accepting credit cards.
Last week, a couple in Dallas discovered a Jesus-shaped Cheeto in their bag of Cheetos. They promptly named it Cheesus, which is a masterstroke of marketing (although not that original, it turns out), and are considering auctioning it off on eBay—with the implied threat that if it doesn’t sell, they may just eat it. The big question you may be asking yourself now is, “How can I get in on this racket?”
Our commenter Zorantor discovered a weird, uh, can you call this an Easter egg?, buried at the bottom of a Craigslist post last night:
A reader sent in this scan of a comment card found with a pair of Diesel shoes. “I wonder what the purpose of this is?” the reader mused. I wonder, too. Unrestrained whimsy? Prank? Rogue employee who is now either confined to a psychiatric facility or has a book contract?
We get that people want to buy objects that either represent or remind them of their faith. We don’t get Stonemarkers, though.
You’ll need them to cut off the right amount of penny at the cash register. Or, we suppose you could add something to your cart that includes 6/10 of a penny to even it all out—but that’s how they get you, with those “even penny” purchases. (Thanks to Amanda!)
Either this Burger King in Miami takes the competition really, really seriously, or the owner is into some pretty freaky s#@t. The store gets bonus absurdity points for framing it so handsomely.
Seriously, what’s up with them? Their new ad features an oven that begs a Quiznos employee to “put it in me, Scott,” as the camera pans over what it calls a Toasty Torpedo. There’s also a subliminal flash of a periscope jutting up from the flames at one point, as our eagle-eyed reader Bbender pointed out.
Two women have reported being injured while getting a “Brazilian” bikini wax — leading New Jersey to consider banning the practice.
Tonya emailed us a video clip of a cute little piggy with a robot voice complaining about being trapped on hold. We appreciated the rant, but were even more fascinated with the technology that allowed her friend to turn a long, written diatribe into an instant cartoon. You know who needs this? Dan Hesse, shunned pitchman and CEO for Sprint! You’ll never have to stop making commercials now. Also, we’ve decided to make you British.
The Caylee Anthony “tribute” dolls are back up for sale, according to the company’s “tribute” website. So far, we can’t find a way to actually buy them. We’re loaded up with “Caylee Sunshine” bracelets and tees, however. That should creep out all the parents in Park Slope. [CayleeDoll.com] (Thanks to Craig!)
Now you too can be a part of the Caylee Anthony saga unfolding on cable news networks! What’s that? This is a grotesque commercialization of what should be a private tragedy? Don’t be such a downer! “We want it to be a tribute,” Showbiz Promotions prez Jaime Salcedo told the Orlando Sentinel. Heck, he’s even thinking of donating $3 per purchase to some good cause or another.