In the settlement AOL did not admit to wrongdoing but did promise to make it easier for its few remaining customers to cancel. AOL also agreed to pay $3 million. From the AP:

"Consumers who called were put on hold or transferred repeatedly until they hung up in disgust," said Connecticut Attorney General Richard Blumenthal, [ed. note- Rock Star!] who described AOL's practices as "outlandish and underhanded."

The settlement requires AOL to issue refunds to consumers who can show they were still charged monthly fees after trying to cancel their services. AOL's fees currently range from $9.95 to $25.90 per month. Tiede said the multistate investigation didn't estimate how much money AOL might have to refund.

AOL to pay $3M, reform cancel policies [Yahoo!]
(Photo:Maulleigh)

PREVIOUSLY: Happy Birthday To Cancel The Account!

You can help celebrate Cancel The Account Day by looking at your credit card bill and see if there's a fee for a recurring service you don't need or want.

Then, call up the company and cancel your service! Save money! Hooray! — BEN POPKEN

Check it out, inside...

Anonymous former AOL employee writes:

Another change that occurred was the Saves queue abandoning long held policies (which you have already seen in the training material) although the reason wasn't solely due to the Ferrari call.

The timeline here is a little jumbled, but from what I recall the company had already decided to move to the ad-revenue based Free AOL by the time the Ferrari call made such a splash. The reasons were plentiful, but all the corporate doublespeak boiled down to "We're hemorrhaging members!!! No one wants our "services", and the gadzillion bucks we spent on all those flashy commercials set us back and we're still not tricking people into paying for our re-wrap internet."

Some of the other behind the scenes changes going on were:

* Member Exodus led to lower revenues and lower profits.

* To maximize on the profits that were coming in, internal employees (who had benefits and higher wages) were being phased out in exchange for new call centers overseas where outsourced employees (who had no benefits
and miniscule wages) would "provide the same excellent customer service at low low prices" [sarcasm mine].

* When this began going into effect and the Jacksonville, FL call center was closed, the official excuse was that members were becoming more savvy and weren't calling in as much so the jobs weren't necessary so the company closed the call center. What they didn't mention was that they then opened several new centers and hired new employees to do the same jobs out of the country.

* So if the members are becoming savvy enough to help themselves, and the call center employees that were fired were no longer needed, why were they replaced by outsourced employees in new call centers around the world?

* Wouldn't the company have been a bit more credible saying, "Yes we closed all the internal call centers and fired all the internal call center employees to reduce costs in light of diminishing revenue."

The Vincent Ferrari call certainly lit a fire under the right asses to get the ball rolling, but the plan was already drawn up and ready to go before hand. It actually served AOL's interests in a way because the company hid behind the view that the call centers were closing due to the Saves queue being phased out. In reality the Saves queue was already undergoing changes and was now known as the MRM (Member Retention Management) queue and is still around. The call center closures in Ogden, Albuquerque, Tucson, and Jacksonville did not only affect Saves reps, but also Tech, SUBP (Sign Up By Phone), Billing, and others.

AOL didn't spend any time in correcting the perception that the sites were closed because of the Vincent Ferrari call and the sudden focus on "Member Satisfaction." In fact, AOL was applauded by some for eliminating Saves (which they hadn't done).

It was odd to witness from the inside because AOL is a place of constant contradiction. For years consultants were told on the one hand to provide a "World class customer support interaction" and on the other to keep call times low, pitch products like Video Professor, and adhere to policies that effectively prevented the consultant from providing satisfactory customer service.

— BEN POPKEN

This is a revision of their previous policy, shown in the second screenshot, mandating hanging up on customers who said they were recording the call.

AOL saw this story was blowing up and figured that people might try to duplicate Vincent's call. Rather than telling them to buzz off, which could've created another infamous bad customer service call, AOL told its reps to "continue to provide the outstanding customer service all our members deserve and expect." Clever, very clever.

Screenshots inside...

"Though it doesn't happen often, we have all experienced abusive caller situations. In some rare cases, after repeated warnings, these have resulted in our having to disconnect the call. This document clarifies AOL's hang-up guidelines and provides a consistent policy on when to escalate to your coach — and when to disconnect. NOTE: This does not apply to members who have disabilities that require them to record the call. (e.g. a Lifeline Service, etc.) It is not acceptable to disconnect a call with a disabled member if he or she is using this or any similar sort of service.

Currently, our Legal Department guidelines list only one situation where a call cannot continue.Because AOL does not allow callers to record our conversations, we may, after advising the caller of our policy, terminate or escalate the call when the caller refuses to discontinue recording. The following are guidelines for handling this type of call:

Required Warning Approach and Phrasing (A four-step process)

"Mr/Ms Member, I will be able to work with you on this; however, AOL does not allow our conversations to be taped. I cannot go further unless you discontinue taping the call. Are you ready to turn off the tape, so I can help you?" (A "Yes" answer allows the call to continue. A "No" requires the reading of the next statement to the member.)

"Mr/Ms Member, as I mentioned before, I will be able to assist you with this today; however, I cannot go further unless you discontinue taping the call. Are you ready to turn off the tape, so I can help you?" (A "Yes" answer allows the call to continue. A "No" requires the reading of the next statement to the member.)

"Mr/...Ms Member, At this time, because you continue to tape our conversation, I must disconnect the call, unless you are willing stop taping now. Are you ready to turn off the tape, so I can help you?" (A "Yes" answer allows the call to continue. A "No" requires that the call be ended at this point using the following statement.)

"Mr/Ms Member, I am now ending the call." End the call unless the caller will allow escalation. Regarding all other calls: Follow guidance as presented by the Training Department, Management, and your coaches. Consultants should use Customer Profile's scripting and approaches as determined by listening to the caller's identifying behaviors. Each call must be handled with the profile approach most closely matching the caller's behavior. Making an accurate initial assessment of the caller is an important part of the process. Should the call reach a point where the caller is too irate and/or abusive to allow a productive conversation to continue, the consultant should obtain callback information and escalate the call to a coach. The coach will use this information to initiate a follow-up contact with the member.

Example: Suggested Escalation Phrasing

"Mr. Member, I apologize for any inconvenience that this may have caused. Let me get a number where you can be reached, so I can have a supervisor return your call. Would daytime or evening work best for you?" As with any policies, if you have any questions, please see your coach. Article Audience: AOL, CS and Wal-mart Connect ______

Do not distribute this article in any form, to individuals who are not employees or agents of America Online, Inc., its parent, subsidiary, or affiliated companies."

"What to Do If a Member Informs CCC the Call is Being Recorded
Proper call handling procedures when a member is recording a call with Member Services.
Last Updated On: 6/23/06

Audience: All Queues

How to Properly Handle a Member Interaction if the Member is Recording the Call

While rare, the situation can arise where a member informs a consultant that they are recording the call. On the Phone or via eSupport: Member Advocacy Rules

Whether the interaction is over phone, e-mail or chat, you should always fulfill our shared commitment to Member Advocacy. Therefore, AOL's policy is if a member informs you they are recording a call, you should stay on the call and continue to provide the outstanding customer service all our members deserve and expect. This is the same expectation for eSupport Live and E-mail consultants — no matter the medium we use to offer assistance, our goal is to be the best Advocates possible. Please see your coach with any questions!

Do not distribute this article in any form to individuals who are not employees or agents of AOL LLC., its parent, subsidiary, or affiliated companies."

— BEN POPKEN

Truth 505 says,

"Whats up the consumerist I love the site, me and all my pals in Alb NM before we got laid off would get a good laugh the way u stick it to AOHell, anyways I'm writing you to let u know I'm a hiphop artist and I wrote a song about some of the stuff that went down @ aol the title of course is "F AOL" feel free to put it on your site and play it as much as you want, AOL has been a greedy company for years and its a shame they have no more call centers in the USA but call themselfs still AOL,, I'm not sure if u guys knew that but there are no more US reps there all outsourced to mexico india and the phillipians what a shame.........

HERES THE LINK TO MY SONG GIVE IT A SPIN IF U WANT PEACE"

Hot. When is the video coming out? — BEN POPKEN

f*** AOL [TRUTH 505]

For example, this person's experience:

To make my point very clear, I told him, "Look Steve, I wipe my ass with Sigma lenses." (Nothing against Sigma, I just wanted to make my point emphatically.) Apparently he understood this and offered to cancel the order but still charge me the shipping and restocking fee. We went around on this point for a little while and ended with him vowing to fight me on this. I disputed the charge right away with my credit card company...

Recently, Vincent Ferrari decided to take pictures of all the "business locations" listed in Broadway Photo's BBB report.

The less than confidence inspiring results, inside...

Photo credits: Vincent Ferrari.

315 East 89th Street: M.A.N Textile Corp

321 East 89th Street is a door with an awning and a sticker with the number.

2922 Avenue L is EO Optics

1412 Avenue M is Mail-N-Pack (meaning they're using a maildrop for their mail)

5014 16th Avenue is a Check Cashing store....

....the interesting thing is that right next to it is an appliance store

BBB REPORT.

BROADWAY PHOTO
337 East 89th Street
Brooklyn, NY 11236
View Location Map

Principal: Darin Krask, Manager

Phone Number: (718) 338-1800

Additional Phone Numbers:
(718) 338-0634 (800) 951-9542 (718) 338-1352
(800) 709-4491 (866) 407-3425 (800) 432-2180
(800) 572-6152 (718) 338-0634 (718) 837-5999
(718) 837-2666

Fax Number: (718) 338-3029

Website: www.bwayphoto.com

Type of Business: Photographic Equipment & Supplies-Retail, Computers-Dealers, Electronic Equipment & Supplies-Dealers

Membership Status: This company is not a member.

The information in this report has either been provided by the company, or has been compiled by the Bureau from other sources.
Nature of Business

Complaints to the Bureau indicate that this firm uses high pressures sales tactics after consumers place their orders. After ordering merchandise consumers report receiving a phone call from the firm's customer representatives attempting to sell additional items. Representatives allegedly try to persuade consumers to buy the U.S. warranty, as well as accessories like cables, peripherals, and software, or lead consumers to believe the product will not work if additional merchandise is not purchased. In some cases, if the consumers declined, an email was sent advising them to cancel their orders because the item was on back-order despite being listed as available on the firm's website. Consumers also reported unauthorized charges on their invoices. When trying to dispute such charges, consumers report difficulty talking to management, claiming they are verbally abused by the company's staff.
Customer Experience

Based on BBB files, this business has an unsatisfactory record with the Bureau, because there is a pattern of complaints, and the business has not corrected the underlying reason for the complaints.

The company's size, volume of business, and number of transactions may have a bearing on the number of complaints received by the BBB. The number of complaints filed against a company may not be as important as the type of complaints, and how the company handled them. The BBB generally does not pass judgment on the validity of complaints filed.

Complaint Outcome Statistics:
Complaint Outcome Last 12 Months Last 12..36 Months Total
Resolved
Consumer received the requested resolution 152 290 442
Resolved
Consumer received part of the requested resolution 40 77 117
Administratively Judged Resolved
The Company has responded to the complaint(s) addressing the disputed issues, however, the consumer remains dissatisfied 23 69 92
No Response
The Company has failed to respond to complaints 11 16 27
TOTAL 226 452 678

Complaint Issues:

Please understand that complaints may concern more than one issue
Complaint Issue Last 12 Months Last 12..36 Months Total
Advertising Issues 21 64 85
Contract Disputes 4 2 6
Credit or Billing Disputes 39 54 93
Delivery Issues 19 29 48
Guarantee or Warranty Issues 11 11 22
Product Quality 11 14 25
Refund Practices 23 41 64
Repair Issues 3 3 6
Selling Practices 90 223 313
Service Issues 5 11 16
TOTAL 226 452 678
Additional Business Names

This firm also does business under the following names. This is not necessarily a complete list.

A&M Photo World

Cameratopia

Digital Liquidators LLC

Ghu, LLC

Preferred Photo

Prestige Camera

Regal Camera

Tronicity

Wild Digital LLC
Additional Locations

This firm also does business at the following locations.

2922 Avenue L
Brooklyn, NY 11210

315 East 89th Street
Brooklyn, NY 11236

5014 16th Avenue
Brooklyn, NY 11204

1412 Avenue M
Brooklyn, NY 11230

321 East 89th Street
Brooklyn, NY 11236

Report as of: 1/25/2007

— BEN POPKEN

If you prefer your chase cut, here is the Vincent Ferrari AOL cancel call that took first on our top ten list.

For good measure, here's a complete scan of an AOL call center training manual.

Information on using this site in general...

What are you? We're a consumer affairs blog, part of the Gawker Media Network. We write at least 24 stories a day. They appear from top to bottom, newest to oldest. Stories are separated by bold headlines.
How do I send you a story/tips/question? Email us at tips@consumerist.com. We can not promise a post, but we will read.
How can I become a commenter?
What's the deal here anyway?
How do you decide what stories to run?

Be sure to check out the stories in our "Consumerist Kit." They're chock-full of tips on evening the playing field between yourself and corporations. If on the other hand, you are a corporation, consider following the link and learning the lengths your customers will go to try to get the service they deserve.

— BEN POPKEN

Vincent ordered two scanners from CDW. One arrived, the other didn't.

When he called FedEx, they said the last info that they had was that the package had left Chicago. They couldn't provide any more information.

This called was placed around 12:30 PM today. At 2:30PM, FedEx called to say the package was on a ramp at JFK.

vincent: they can't tell me exactly where it is
vincent: who has it
vincent: OR
vincent: if i'll even get it today
vincent: I may, but no guarantee
vincent: other than that, the 40+ dollars I paid just got me second day air

When asked how this affected his opinion of FedEx, Vincent said, "I didn't have a very high opinion of 'em anyway. I like Kinkos over the UPS store, but when it comes to shipping I'll make sure CDW uses UPS or DHL now. This isn't the first time Fedex screwed me on a next-day package." — BEN POPKEN

Advertising Age commissioned us to write up the top ten biggest business debacles of 2006.

1. AOL refuses to cancel customer's account
2. Comcast tech falls asleep on customer's couch
3. BOA employee sings U2 cover about MBNA merger
4. Sony recalls potentially exploding batteries
5. Bausch & Lomb recalls fungus causing contact-lens solution
6. AOL releases users' search records online
7. Northwest tells laid-off workers to dumpster dive
8. Wal-Mart's fake blogs exposed
9. Hasbro markets Oozinator with suggestive video
10. Cingular cans contracts of unprofitable customers

This list appears in the print edition of Advertising Age on newstands now. Some of the list items were suggested by the readers, and several of the original stories came out of reader tips. Nice work, people!

Story behind the stories, inside...

1. AOL refuses to cancel customer's account

Vincent Ferrari called to cancel his AOL account, and a 20-minute battle with the customer-service rep ensued. Little did AOL know Vincent recorded the call, and it became an internet hit that spread to radio and TV. AOL publicly apologized and revamped its call centers to make canceling easier. Subsequently, AOL began to hemorrhage subscribers at record levels.

2. Comcast tech falls asleep on customer's couch

Brian Finklestein recorded a Comcast tech asleep on his couch while waiting on hold with HQ. The video spread across the web and onto national TV. Comcast apologized and sent a crack team of seven technicians to solve Brian's problem. It took them five hours. And the sleeping technician? Unceremoniously dumped. Which is a little sad, since it was HQ who had him on hold for so long.

3. BOA employee sings U2 cover about MBNA merger

Ethan Chandler covered U2's "One" at a company lunch to pep up the troops about the 2005 merger with MBNA. At the time, the employees were kept in the room by the open bar, but the internet watched in rapture. Thanks to the video's popularity, Universal Music may be suing Ethan, and Bank of America affirms its identity as a major toolshed.

4. Sony recalls potentially exploding batteries

Sony and all the major laptop makers launched the largest product recall in the history of mankind after it was found that certain Sony batteries could combust while in use. Several incidents were documented and distributed online before the recall launched. In one, a hunter's laptop went off while sitting on a box of ammunition in his truck, forcing him to dive for cover as the truck spewed live rounds in every direction.

5. Bausch & Lomb recalls fungus causing contact-lens solution

B&L withdrew popular lens-cleaning solution ReNu MoistureLoc after outbreaks of fusarium keratitis fungus emerged in users' eyes. At least one user went blind as a result. Cases were first reported in 2004 in Singapore. In reaction to the news, B&L's stock dropped. After the company announced the recall, the stock went back up.

6. AOL releases users' search records online

In a misguided attempt to aid academic researchers, AOL released the search records of more than 500,000 users. Not surprisingly, the move didn't go over well with privacy advocates (or AOL critics). User IDs were blacked out, but it didn't exactly take a hacking genius to exploit the records and follow searches back to the source. Reporters at The New York Times were able to correlate one user's searches and discover said user's identity.

7. Northwest tells laid-off workers to dumpster dive

After broad staff cuts, Northwest distributed a handbook for thrifty living to pink-slipped employees. Some of the suggestions were relatively sound, but others were insulting. Among 101 ways to save money, the booklet advised, "Don't be shy about pulling something you like out of the trash." So much for dismissal with dignity. Also: "Bicycle to work." That would be good advice, provided the recipients had a job to bike to.

8. Wal-Mart's fake blogs exposed

Unable to tell the true story about Wal-Mart through press releases, Wal-Mart's PR agency, Edelman, turned to the blogosphere. One blog followed a couple who decided to "Wal-Mart Across America," parking their RV in a different Wal-Mart every night. It was later discovered that the people writing the blog had their entire trip underwritten by a pro-Wal-Mart group, which in turn received most of its funding from Edelman.

9. Hasbro markets Oozinator with suggestive video

One of the latest Super Soaker water guns is the Oozinator, which shoots a sticky polymer in addition to water. Hasbro's spot showed an older teen shooting younger boys with the goo. The results were suggestive and disgusting, and Hasbro removed the video from its site. Hundreds of innuendo-laced reviews flooded Amazon but were later deleted. A few archivists managed to save and publish the video and comments, where they continue to delight viewers.

10. Cingular cans contracts of unprofitable customers

Former AT&T customers and other "unprofitable" customers had their service degraded. Cingular: raising the bar, then lowering it on their customers' necks.

— BEN POPKEN

Consumerist's 10 Biggest Business Debacles [AdAge]

All Floridians who filed a complaint with the AG's office are eligible to take part in the settlement. Visit Myfloridalegal.com for more info.

See, this is why it's important to file official complaints! — BEN POPKEN

AOL settles over consumer complaints [Miami Herald] (Thanks to Sean!)

NEW YORK TIMES READERS:
Here is the Vincent Ferrari AOL cancel call mentioned in the article. For good measure, here's a complete scan of their call center training manual.

NEW YORK DAILY NEWS READERS:
Here's the $55 mac and cheese story, and two followups: The $55 Mac And Cheese Guy Speaks, and The Menu Said 'Truffles'

HOW TO USE THIS SITE:

What are you? We're a blog. We write at least 18 stories a day. They appear from top to bottom, newest to oldest. You can tell you're reading a different story because there's a new big bolded headline.
How do I send you my story/tips/question Type it up and email to tips at consumerist.com. We can't promise a post, but we will read.
How can I become a commenter?
How do I submit audio or video? Email us the file directly.
What are you guys all about?
How do you decide what stories to run?
How do I record phone calls?
You ran a story on such and such, how can I find it? There's a handy search box at the top right of each page. Or you can type site:www.consumerist.com into Google along with what you're looking for. See example.

Be sure to check out the stories in our "Consumerist Kit." They're chock-full of money-saving, time-saving tips and definitive ways to fight back against companies screwing us over.

Click around, have fun, let us know what you think, and thanks for stopping by! — BEN POPKEN

We start off a touch slow, but then it ramps up.

Get audio clips like these delivered directly to your RSS reader by subscribing to our podcast.

We speculated that AOL paid John a sizable bonus package to encourage his silence, until now...

A source close to the situation told us that John did not receive a severance package and AOL told him to not to apply for unemployment either.

AOL was unresponsive to our request for comment to verify this statement.

Let's get this straight. So you're John, and you're just going along, doing the job AOL told you to do, the way they taught you. One day, someone records one of your calls and spread it around the internet. You end up humiliated in the mainstream press, AOL publicly disowns you, terminates your contract without notice, tells you to forget your unemployment bennies... and you don't even get a little payola?

Classy. That is one seriously scaped goat.

Compare with the original.

A REAL reporter would have simply started into his pitch, but we're not cool like in the movies. A callback went straight to voicemail. But we did find out it's his T-Mobile number and texted him:

"John, we are on your side. We want to give you an opportunity to tell your story. We can be discreet. Please call. /Ben Popken"

We'll try again later and see if we can get anything, but he's probably lawyered up pretty tight.

UPDATE: We have removed this sound file as we have come to feel it's overly invasive of its subject. This was a call to John's personal cell phone that he did not expect or authorize its existence, recording or distribution. In our eagerness to pursue this exciting story angle, we broached a boundary. We apologize to John, and to our readers.

"The company estimates that it will lose more than six million paying subscribers over the next year. "

People might like to think that it was the exposure given Vincent Ferrari's call that jump started the retention center flush. That may be too rosy a view. Maybe there's a certain point where there's simply too many people trying to cancel, too eagerly and it's more cost-effective to quickly process them than tourniquet the attrition.

Like the wise willow, AOL bent to the farts of change.

A splash page for the refurb says, "In the beginning AOL was where you went for your Internet connection. But the online world has continued to evolve quickly — so we are reinventing ourselves. Say hello to the new AOL."

The company will still offer $26 a month dial-up accounts, but will no longer market them. Or presumably, try very hard to stop you from from cancelling them.

Nail, meet coffin.

"From what I understand....this is not the average experience."

Incorrect.

"I'm not involved in the access business at all, so I can't really speak to the details to be honest."

Correct.

"When I look at the AOL logo I hear that call"

Choke.

"It's going to go down as a watershed moment for the company."

Knee chopping.

"Sometimes the darkest hour is before the dawn..."

California.

"...and I think that is what that call will come to symbolize: a new era for the company."

Try... an unmitigated PR disaster.

• If the husband calls up and you see the wife's name is on the account, say the wife needs to call. When the wife calls, says the husband needs to call. Keep juggling untill the give up or both call in at the same time.
• If the customer asks, "Are you going to bill me for this?" Say no and the customer hangs up, thinking they canceled. See, the retainer himself isn not going to bill him, AOL is.
• Use rebuttal after rebuttal until the customer gets confused and thinks his account is cancelled.

Listen to the interview in full below.

Transcript after the jump...

MUSIC IN

CONSUMERIST: America Online gave him trips to Mexico and thousands of dollars in bonuses. He was in the elite, an expert at getting people to not cancel AOL. But he didn't there by being Mr. Nice Guy. Consumerist.com interviews a former AOL retainer.

MUSIC UP

CONSUMERIST: What would be some examples of some of the tricks you had up your sleeve?

RETAINER: "Are you gonna get billed for this?" Well, I'm not gonna bill you.

CONSUMERIST: Heh.

RETAINER: Well, I'm not. America Online is.

CONSUMERIST: Right...

RETAINER: A lot of these tricks I came up with myself, and showed others, and my boss would ask me, "Hey, can you please show these other people here how to do that?" Member calls up and says they want to cancel, and the wife's name is on the account, the husband's calling, so "Oh, you need to have your wife call." The wife calls and, "Ohp. Your husband needs to call."

CONSUMERIST: Hmm.

RETAINER: As long as you can get them to not cancel the account, you get a small bonus.

CONSUMERIST: Mmhm. I received an email from another person, he's claiming people having anxiety attacks, people...

RETAINER: Yeah. When I first got into the saves department, had a little bit of anxiety myself, and went to the doctor and complained about not being able to sleep, and having problem, trouble eating. He told me it was because of the anxiety of the job. And he gave me some medicine to help take that edge off. And it helped, but I had to take medicine to actually, make it through those, probably first three or four months there until I got acclimated to the environment.

CONSUMERIST: Mhmm.

RETAINER: So yes, the stress is quite a lot. People have anxiety attacks, people have been taken away in ambulances from the call center.

CONSUMERIST: In the manual we uploaded, there's been talk about this crazy program called, "Merlin."

RETAINER: It's just an interface allowing them to look at the accounts and change things in accounts. What you really want to look at is the Retention Buddy. That's the software that was written specifically for the saves department. And had rebuttals, and questions, and basically, how to handle just about any situation from any member that called in. Like, oh, we have great Parental Controls that you can use that will help... keep your daughter from these things. And if they said no to that, they would with a second rebuttal and a third and you used as many as you could until the person got ticked off or you confused 'em enough till where they thought the account was cancelled.

MUSIC UP

CONSUMERIST: What eventually made you decide to leave?

RETAINER: They started really cutting back on the money. My calls were listened to quite a bit and one call got listened to and I didn't do a couple of things and they took $2500 from me.

CONSUMERIST: For one call?

RETAINER: For one call being off. I just didn't feel good about what I was doing anymore. The job I have now, it's high pressure, I have a lot of responsibility, but it's nowhere near the stressful levels that it was at AOL.

CONSUMERIST: Probably don't need a prescription to get through your day.

RETAINER: Nope, not at all, no more of that.

CONSUMERIST: Right...right.

CONSUMERIST: Our anonymous interviewee told us that he was not only not surprised at John's behavior during Vincent's phone call, it was typical, and certainly not the worst an AOL rep could muster. Join Consumerist.com next time when we speak with another retainer... who paints a graphic portrait of life inside an Oklahoma call center, and how far they went to deal with the pressures.

OK: There were people selling on the floor! You could get meth, you could get pot...

CONSUMERIST: All that and more, on Consumerist.com, your number one source for the disco party over AOL's grave.

MUSIC OUT

Related:

• AOL Retention Manual Revealed
• NYT Notes AOL Manual Upload, Questions Raised
• AOL Updates Retention "Offer Matrix"
• AOL Internal Memos, After Vinny's Call

Several former AOL retention consultants have emailed us, of their own accord, and confirmed that the manual is real. They say it's a learning material used during training.

We conducted two phone interviews late this week with former AOL retention consultants. In their opinion, all that mattered at the call center's was each operator's individual "save" rate, the number of customers they prevented from cancelling their AOL accounts. When simple sales tactics didn't work, consultants resorted to chicanery, mind games, and lying.

If a customer asked, "Will you bill me for this," the consultant could reply no. The customer could hang up, thinking they cancelled. Instead, they were still billed, but not by the consultant, by AOL.

On other occasions, the consultant would tell the customer their account was cancelled and then simply not do it. Instead, they marked the account as saved.

Eventually, the customer gets his next credit card statement and calls back. He's still being billed. He's outraged. It's very hard to convince this type of customer to stay, though the retention consultant will still try. Sometimes they're successful, and then, sometimes they're "successful."

One interviewee painted a graphic portrait of conditions inside a call center. After being "buttered up" and told the job was easy in training, he started for real and learned the realities of dealing with angered customers. To cope, he and his team went out drinking every night. Some took out their stress on their wive's faces. Others bought meth on the job and did it in the bathroom during lunch breaks. He claims that two of his coworkers went so far as to commit suicide, one by overdose, the other by self-inflicted gunshot wound.

Our subject claims he saw people have anxiety attacks, and his friend suffered a seizure right after failing to save a call. The team leaders told everyone to not notice it and keep working as the EMT's arrived. He himself suffered an anxiety attack and was hospitalized. When he came back to work, AOL fired him. Walking out the back door into the Midwest sun, he felt more free than ever before.

Edited audio of these interviews will appear here in a matter of days

Previously:

• AOL Retention Manual Uploaded in Full
• Interview With Former AOL Retention Superstar
• AOL Apologizes For Infamous Cancel Call

A plain manila envelope arrived on our desk this week. Inside was the eighty-one paged "Enhanced Sales Training for AOL Retention Consultants" manual. Upon opening, the flowchart, "Guide to a World-Class Retention Call," fell out.

It's amazing that the story has come this far, that Vincent could record his attempt to cancel AOL, that recording would shoot to national TV, and now, a mole has sent us incriminating company documents.

One thing quickly becomes evident after reading the pages of tips and tactics. Callers are viewed not as customers, but prospects. Under the heading, "Think of Cancellation Calls as Sales Leads," the manual reads...

If you stop and think about it, every Member that calls in to cancel their account is a hot lead. Most other sales jobs require you to create your own leads, but in the Retention Queue the leads come to you! Be eager to take more calls, get more leads and close more sales. More leads means more selling opportunities for you and cost savings for AOL.

In a public statement, AOL's Nicholas Graham claimed that John, "violated our customer service guidelines and practices, and everything that AOL believes to be important in customer care - chief among them being respect for the member, and swiftly honoring their requests." If this is true, then why is there such a complex system designed to thwart those very requests? Brevity thrives on simplicity.

To reel you back in, AOL has a six stage system:

1. Greet and Verify
2. Discovery
3. Tailored Value
4. Right Offer
5. Resolve Concerns
6. Motivate to Activate

In Vincent's call, John never got past step 2. He got stuck in "Discovery" where he used "digging" to try to get more information about Vincent. John's goal was to use this intel to build an argument for staying with AOL, and deliver what the manual calls the "tailored value." A bit of an ill-fitting suit, if there ever was one, since in his inquest, John never found out that Vincent was an IT professional.

Digging involves asking the lead questions that build a portrait of the prospect's wants, interests and needs. AOL cheerfully terms these, "WINS." From page 4-20 of the "Best Practices" section:

With respect to Vincent's computer expertise, John's attempts at digging play like a study in comedy.

VINCENT: I don't need it, I don't want it, I don't use it.
JOHN: So when you use this, is that for business or school?
VINCENT: I don't want the AOL account, can we please just cancel it?
JOHN: On June 2nd, I see 72 hours of usage...

Some sales cannot be made. There is a certain point after which you're just wasting your time. Past that, you risk enraging the customer. Then there's the point where the customer tapes the conversation and humiliates you in the national media.

"This call may be recorded for quality assurance purposes," goes both ways.

John had access to a program, "Merlin," apparently so-called for its ability to turn piss into champagne. If Vincent was more pliable, John could have used it. By clicking various responses a lead makes, the behavior matrix suggests phrases for the salesperson to utter and guide customers back to AOL's fetid bosom.

The soul of Merlin is the Member Profile Guide. It boasts four tabs, "Know," "Listen," "Feel," and "How you want them to feel." Apparently, "Manipulate" was too blunt. Each tab provides different stratagems tailored to the specific customer on the line. For instance, the "Know" tab, "identifies the Member attribute and the 'role' we should play for the member." For example, if a new member has a low amount of usage, Merlin suggests taking on the guise of a "helpful guide."

Alternatively, selecting the Feel tab gives users, "an idea of the emotions the member might be feeling and how we might appropriately respond to those feelings...in bullet point form."

The manual is full of more creepy delights, including:

• On "overcoming objections" i.e. customer's desire to not connect to watered-down version of the internet, the manual advises to, "allow your callers to talk comfortably about their concerns." By doing this you can literally, "watch their concerns and resistance drop."

• As we all know and love, the best way to "keep it real" is corporate policy mandating naturalness. That's why AOL developed, "Keep It Real"...a set of principles that will drive a world-class Member experience..."

• Then there's also this doozy from black-is-white land: "The reason that many Members are going to high speed is, because the actual internet connection is much more stable....we now have the perfect solution...a free modem." Ah yes, the hot-rodding superpower of 24kbps.

• Jason Watkins, an AOL Customer Care Consultant quoted in the manual says it best, "Consumers believe everything is a commodity, i.e. where can I buy the service for the least cost. My objective as a salesperson is to prove otherwise."

An AOL retention consultant's job is to trick consumers into being stupid.

It's hard to keep track of the array of tools at their AOL call center employee's disposal. There's "Member Connect," "The Discovery Wheel," "eSource," "ASQ," "CSS," "FBB's," "WINs," and "Drill Down Questions." Operators get advice and coaching from their team leaders and fellow employees. With over 160,000 calls a day, the sales force continually hones its craft.

To AOL's credit, John seems to have missed the section that advised to, "Never get angry with the Member...Don't criticize the Member by saying things like "you don't have to be so difficult with me" or "you're impossible to deal with." Maybe that's because most of the manual is devoted to overcoming customer's objections and selling them on AOL's awesomeness.

"Traditionally, when companies have profitable but shrinking businesses, like AOL's access service, they try to milk as much money as they can from them without investing new cash.," reported the New York Times on July 10th. The article hinged around CEO John Miller's proposal in two weeks time before his Time Warner overlords for a bold revamp of AOL's services. Included in the proposition are said to be plans to eliminate retention consultants entirely.

Instead of investing in a system that people actually wanted to use, AOL created a system for duping customers into not exercising their right to leave for cheaper, higher-quality services. Behind the rhetoric of "Member Services" and "World Class Value" are suits that see their members as spreadsheet numbers. The suits sleep soundly as long as one column is kept high and the other low.

UPDATE: Full copy of the AOL manual here.

Readers, please Digg this story.

• AOL Employees Slander Vincent Ferrari On Company Time
• BREAKING: Spitzer To Talk To AOL, Again
• AOL Updates Retention "Offer Matrix"
• AOL Internal Memos, After Vinny's Call
• We Interview Vincent Ferrari, AOL Canceller
• Dead Defeat AOL
• AOL Canceler on Today Show
• AOL Wants to Sell "Internet" to the Dead
• Consumerist on CNBC
• AOL Apologizes For Infamous Cancel Call
• The Best Thing We Have Ever Posted: Reader Tries To Cancel AOL
• AOL Officially Sucks More Than Anything Else

Here's the video of us on Nightline along with Vincent Ferrari this past Friday, July 14th. People seem to enjoy the part where we say "So?" We like it when Vincent says "Vent their spleen!" Though we really wished they included our metaphor about crack rocks. Nightline definitely nails the best rendering of the cancel call we've seen. They re-edited the recording to leave in the juicy bits, then present the transcript with snazzy bubbles.

Here's direct links to the stories mentioned in the piece:

• Vincent's AOL Call
• Tropicana Suckage
• Circuit City Executive Phone Numbers
• Dell Laptop Burning
• Starbucks Rant
• Sleepy Comcast Tech Videoed
• Trying to Provoke Comcast Tech
• Agents of Walmart

What's next? You tell us.

UPDATE: Here's what's next. We got our hands on an AOL retention manual and found some very creepy bits...

UPDATE: Comcast censored the Nightline piece in its rebroadcast, deletting the part showing aninfamous YouTube of a Comcast tech sleeping on a customer's couch. Watch the cut here.

UPDATE: Full copy of the AOL manual here.

One of the more incredible results of the Vincent Ferrari AOL Cancellation fiasco is the outpouring of support. Oh, not for Vincent! For AOL.

It seems like every binder-quoting customer retention monkey has taken to the Internet to start flinging feces at Vincent and rah-rahing AOL. We covered a few of these guys on Friday.

But one AOL Customer Retention Expert was so incensed by the exposure of Vincent's ordeal that he wrote a blog post to unofficially comment on the fiasco. Some of it will be pretty clearly called into question when Ben posts his expose of the AOL Customer Retention Manual.

But one thing our anonymous AOL Customer Retention Expert claims is that the AOL rumor is that Vincent called over 170 times to get a CSR as nasty as John. In other words, he was fishing for a fiasco.

What sort of Electric Kool Aid AOL Test do you need to be on to believe that? It just stretches plausibility wafer thin: Vincent Ferrari called 170 times in a row, tried to cancel, then when he was able to cancel easily and efficiently, resubscribed, hung up and redialed.

Now that AOL is looking to go entirely free, are these guys really so desperate to keep their jobs that they have to mount an internet campaign to disprove Vincent's recording? And isn't there a single guy working for AOL who can come up with something less idiotic than unproven mumblings of a Ferrari-led conspiracy?

AOL Unofficial Clarification of Policies

We ask for an extension.

Besides, who releases gangbusters stuff on a Friday? One's attention is drawn much more quickly to midget Michael Jackson and two-faced kittens.

However, we will disclose that since Vincent's big web debut, he's caught a lot of nasty comments on his blog. Some of the comments resolve to AOL and Netscape (owned by AOL) ip addresses. Netscape and AOL employees took time out of their day to slur Vincent, on company time.

Does the professionalism ever stop?

Read their remarks, after the jump...

New comment on your post #2548 "Utterly Aggravating"
Author : matt gabels (IP: 207.200.116.72 , cache-ntc-ab08.proxy.aol.com)
E-mail : waitingroom3223@hotmail.com
Whois : http://ws.arin.net/cgi-bin/whois.pl?queryinput=207.200.116.72
Comment:

you people have got to be kidding me? I'll repeat it....you've got to be kidding right? SO WHAT if you can't cancel your AOL account online. BOO HOO!!!! Fact of the matter is...due to security issues on line, it IS a privacy issue, would you want some hacker stealing your password and shutting your account down? what the hell do you people mean that it's not a privacy issue?? This is getting to be regoddamneddiculous! You can't cancel ANY account online! You can't cancel your cable, your phone, cellular or home, credit cards, bank accounts, hell you can't even cancel your trash service online.

Since we're on the topic of how "difficult" it is to cancel an AOL account, let's take a few moments to analyze that call....1st,Did Vincent's account get cancelled? yes, how long did it take? 5 minutes. Big deal. How many pitches were made during that call? NONE. Where is this harassment and horror story that this poor defenseless excuse for a human? He wasn't pleasant and everyone knows it.

Because Mr. "I wanted to expose the Horror Stories was oh so plesant on the phone" our friend Jon had to tell him to stop talking and running him over so he could do what Mr. I wanted to expose the horror stories and have my 15 minutes of fame wanted, without even making an attempt to get vincents business.

Had Mr. I'm so starved for attention I need to be a jerk and show the world that I can be a jerk to people and then play the victim had he answered the questions and said no to the 3 pitches, the call would have taken tops 2 and a half to 3 minutes. Instead he antagonizes the CSR and ends up on the news. What a joke!!!! You're a laughing stock within AOL dude, that's hysterical Ironic thing is, his "dad" is ALWAYS logged on as popsferrari, which the genious Mr. I want my 15 minutes of fame gave out on his website.

Keep usin' it, those ads that keep AIM free keep my stock from dipping!

New comment on your post #2511 "Open Call for AOL Retention Specialists or Employees"
Author : anonymous (IP: 207.200.116.72 , cache-ntc-ab08.proxy.aol.com)
E-mail : dygital@gmail.com
URI : http://www.google.com
Whois : http://ws.arin.net/cgi-bin/whois.pl?queryinput=207.200.116.72
Comment:

First off we all sign a NON DISCLOSURE AGREEMENT. Not only do we (as aol employees) agree to it, and are held accountable for the damages incurred, but if I (or anyone) was to send you confidential documents substantiating your biased point... both you AND the person releasing information are held accountable, financially.

Sure I know you want to prove a point, getting people to break their NDA's is another. I'll share this bit - its common knowledge EVERY retention business has quotas. Duh.

Lighten up a bit, stop being such a prick because you chose to repeatedly say "cancel the account" repeatedly, and you saw the rep was being an asshole too. You earned your 15 min of fame, on who's watch - your
employers?

I however do commend you for shining light on an issue - and changes have been made... but seriously - dont risk other workers their jobs just so you can end out on top. Cancelling my aol account wasn't that hard as you had
it, or others mentioned herein.

Contrast this with Nicholas Graham's assertion that cancellation requests are processed quickly...

The office of the Attorney General sent a letter to the ISP on June 28th demanding answers. The letter was sent on June 28th, fifteen days after Vinny's phone call hit the net.

In August of '05, AOL and Spitzer struck a deal after whereby AOL agreed to revamp its retention procedures to make it easier for consumers to leave, agree to third-party verification and pay $1.25 million in costs.

Steve Case's heirs must have a spanking fetish. Good thing Spitzer's got a big paddle and we hope he's going to use it, and not just for consumer's sake. Otherwise, he risks looking like a chump, not a particularly well-advised fashion to sport prior to his November gubernatorial bid.

"Spitzer says AOL customer woes remain an issue" [Reuters] (Thanks to Vincent & Philip!)

The upshot is that as of June 23, ten days after Vincent's call hit the net, AOL ordered its retention specialists to only make TWO offers during a cancellation call. If a member says no to both, the account must be canceled. What a nice idea, a policy against having protracted arguments with your customers.

Nestled amongst the ultimatums is this line:

If members...are trying to provoke the Consultant into being unprofessional, immediately cancel the account.

As a matter of conjecture, this would seem to reveal that there's some in the AOL retention hierarchy who suffer under the misbegotten notion that Vincent somehow goaded John into acting like a jerk. Wow, they STILL don't get it. See you in the welfare check line, fellas.

Also, what's up with the capital C in Consultants and M in Members. What are we now, managing a cult?!

Smoking gun, after the jump...

Keep in mind with this offer sequence:
You are allowed to offer additional options if the member proactively asks.
Exercise common sense. If members are irate, use strong language, interrupt offer pitch to say they're not interested, or are trying to provoke the Consultant into being unprofessional, immediately cancel the account.
Credit cannot bbe given to members already on or being put on a commit PI.
Remember to uphold the Keep It Real standards and be true Member Advocates!

How the New Offer Sequence Helps You
With the new streamlined offer sequence you are now able to pitch an offer more tailored to the member's needs - faster. This ensures a better member experience while also reducing your talk time.
For example, with the combination of the AOL Advantage messaging with the PI pitch, you are able to directly show the value of AOL with the PI that best fits the member's needs.

If you like this entry, be sure to check out "AOL Internal Memos, After Vinny's Call"

In these AOL company documents we obtained, Scott Falconer, EVP of Member Services, transmits a rah-rah to the troops, expresses concern and appreciation for their work, and reminds them to renew their dedication to Servicing the Member.

Underneath the gloppy gloo of corporate newspeak lurks an inconvenient truth: retention consultants need to keep a 60% saves rate to keep their job.

Gotta love Scott's touting of their "third party verification" as an "industry-first initiative." Yes, those would be the same Watchmen AOL had to hire when Spitzer went after the ISP for their anti-consumer retention policies last year.

There's also a tone in the memos that instead of an unmitigated PR disaster, AOL suffered a death of family member. Given the circumstances, that's not necessarily an inappropriate turn to take.

Source documents, after the jump...

Member Services,

Recently, some AOL Member Service calls were posted on the Internet that do not reflect our serious commitment to Member Advocacy. On any interaction, you should assume that it could be posted on the web.

You have tough goals, and no doubt it can be difficult to deal with a member calling very frustrated with some aspect of their service. But we must remember the importance of creating a good member experience by being straightforward, helpful, respectful, friendly, and positive during every interaction. Imagine yourself on the other end of the phone, how would you want to be treated? Being an advocate, on behalf of members, strengthens the very foundation of what AOL stands for. AOL is our members.

In every member contact, I need you to step into your Trusted Advisor role and respond to our members in a manner that shows we are on their side. I need you to really hear what our members are saying, actively listen to them as you work to meet their needs, establishing a sense of trust and mutual respect.

I am proud to be a part of this tremendous team and know it's your personal mission to watch over our members. Please continue to focus on building a strong business - a business with member advocacy at its core.

Sincerely,

Scott Falconer
EVP, Member Services

As follow-up to the message I wrote you on Monday, June 19, I cannot stress enough the importance of maintaining our unwavering standards of ethical and effective service during every member interaction.

The aftermath of the unfortunate, disappointing and unacceptable behavior of one of our former colleagues ha been severe. Following the posting of the recorded call on the Internet, various television and print media have featured the story, including a lengthy interview this morning with the former AOL member on NBC's Today show and on CNBC, casting a very negative impression of AOL and the great work all of us in Member Services do on behalf of our members every day.

While fulfilling our Member Advocacy Commitment (the "F" in FOCUS) is Member Services' number one goal for 2006, there is no time like the present to reiterate the commitment each of us has pledged to uphold on behalf of our valued members:

As the voice of AOL, I promise to conduct myself with integrity at all times, provide excellent service, and ensure a world-class member experience on every call or interaction.

The foundation of AOL is our members. The foundation of our relationship with our members is Member Advocacy. By being uncompromising in our adherence to our standards of behavior, we will maintain a relationship of trust with our members - trust that we are on their side and will provide them with a high quality customer experience. As you can see, withholding our highest level of service from even one member is all it takes to damage the trust and credibility you have worked so hard to earn.

With all of the safeguards we have in place:
*recording and monitoring of member interactions
*our Keep it Real policy, which details our standards of professionalism and ethical behavior
* and Third Party Verification, an industry-first initiative to guarantee quality in every single retention call Any attempt to circumvent our member promise is a violation of our practices, and we maintain a zero tolerance policy for non-compliance.

Please use this unfortunate customer interaction as a reminder that we must maintain our standards of conduct at all times, maintain the goodwill of AOL, and most of all, that we must keep our promise to Fulfill our Member Advocacy Commitment!

Regards,

Scott Falconer
EVP, Member Services

Dear Member Services Colleagues,

We have had a tough week here at Member Services. Although I am sitting far away from you here in Dulles, I am listening to your member interactions and I sincerely admire your response following the recent recorded call posted on the Internet. You are responding to member after member with even more consideration, respect and patience than before.

I hear many of you experiencing more challenges that you usually face with promises of recorded phone calls and the such. Amid all of this, you continue to demonstrate that respect and consideration are the rule, not the exception - all the while continuing to be the bedrock of our business.

As you continue upholding our commitment to Member Advocacy, I want you to know if you feel overwhelmed, please reach out to your leadership team for help. We're here for you as you are tirelessly here for our Members.

Before we head into the weekend, I want to take a moment to sincerely thank you. I want each of you to know, your commitment and faithfulness to our Members has not gone unnoticed.

Sincerely,

Scott Falconer
EVP Member Services

If you like this entry, be sure to check out another internal document "AOL Updates Retention "Offer Matrix"

Taking actual lines from the Dear John call, some comedians make a riff on how hard it is to cancel one's Playboy account.

Vincent Ferrari has become a bona fide meme.

Vinnie called Juniper Bank (the bastards who turned me down for an Apple Credit account) and Cross Country Bank and tried to cancel them both. Both cards offered high interest rates, low limits — sucker cards, in other words. On the suggestion of the Today show, Vinnie called them up and tried to cancel. It was painless and unentertaining.

So why did he have better luck canceling a credit card? Just a theory — because credit card companies aren't hemorrhaging customers under a business model that could be described as 'Web Oh Point Oh'. In conclusion, AOL sucks. Amen.

Not Every Experience is a Nightmare [Insignificant Thoughts]

Graham over at Words & Pictures tipped that he had gloriously incarnated the central absurdity of the AOL Cancellation fiasco with pens and pastels in three panels. And so he did.

Accompanying the comment, a point we think we forgot to note in the sound and the fury: in 2005, AOL promised the state of New York that they'd end a policy that required call center employees to save 49% of cancellations of forfeit their bonuses. Now, we assume, they just forfeit their jobs if they can't meet the quota.

Customer Satisfaction Is Job None [Words & Pictures]

1. Bloggers spread a story that has a surprising development (i.e., a Comcast technician falls asleep on a customer's couch, or nude photos of a high school art teacher are found online)

2. The story has plenty of concrete details. Audio, video or photographic evidence are ideal.

3. A tangible form of injustice has occurred (multiple missed appointments, getting fired)

4. As the story reaches a certain threshold of recognition in the blogosphere (a top 5 search term on Technorati), the traditional media react. (Ferrari was interviewed Wednesday by Matt Lauer on The Today Show.)

5. Within a day or two, the traditional network story gets posted to YouTube, and the word of mouth goes nuclear. The non-blogging audience hears the story for the first time, and the original bloggers post updates about the involvement of traditional media.

In other words, guys... kvetching, bitching, complaining works. It might only be a single voice, but make it compelling, human and entertaining and soon enough, even ghoulish mannequins like Matt Lauer have to listen. Sites like The Consumerist work. All is well with the world.

The 5 Steps of How A Story Spreads [Church of the Customer Blog]

We expect to hear some interesting things, including how he was inspired to record his call by none other than the very blog you're reading. When we called Vinny to set the interview up he said, "Hey! You're my hero!" We responded, "No way, we can't be your hero, because you're ours!"

This should prove to be Vincent's last interview on the subject, so we get the honor of doing the whole post-media-mortem, as well as playing bits that ARE TOO HOT FOR PRIME TIME.

What should we ask the fella?

All the outlets seem satisfied with AOL's apology and have no idea about the more than strong resemblance it bears to their initial PR announcement.

Unfortunately, CNN requires use of their proprietary player. If anyone knows an easier way to snag this, or can do better, feel free to let us know.

Whaddya say? Time for a Consumerist video interview with Vince?

"Just Cancel My Account!" [CNN] (Thanks to Greg!)