Diseasemongering: Pharmaceuticals Path To Riches

Diseasemongering: Pharmaceuticals Path To Riches

As a hyperactive and gibbering youth, it was once suggested by a teacher that I might benefit from being treated for ADD. Upon hearing this advice, my father — sage and saturnine — said this: “We had kids with ADD back in the 50′s. The way the teacher treated them was by walking to the back of the class, opening the sufferer’s desk, inserting the kid’s cranium into it and them slamming it over and over and over again until the child was subdued. You do that a few times to a ten year old’s noggin, he quickly learns to pay attention, psychological imperatives be damned.”

Exciting News from the World of Spam

Exciting News from the World of Spam

Move over Flinstone’s, there’s a new chewable in town and it ain’t for kids.

No Money in Curing AIDS

Hey, AIDS sufferers! Better stock up on aspirin. There’s just not enough money is curing your often fatal disease, says the federal chief of AIDS research, Dr. Edmund Tramont.

“If we look at the vaccine, HIV vaccine, we’re going to have an HIV vaccine. It’s not going to be made by a company,” Tramont said. “They’re dropping out like flies because there’s no real incentive for them to do it. We have to do it.”

Of course, the pharmaceutical researchers deny that they’re dragging their feet.