If You Visit Venezuela, Please Bring Us Back A Penisphone

If You Visit Venezuela, Please Bring Us Back A Penisphone

That rascal Hugo Chavez! First he uses a photo op with President Obama to hawk his new a book, and now he’s on Venezuelan TV urging his citizens to buy a new Vergatario cellphone. For those not up on Spanish slang, that’s equivalent to buying a Dickarama here in the states.

Get 100 Gallons Of Heating Oil For Free

Get 100 Gallons Of Heating Oil For Free

Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez wants to give you 100 gallons of free heating oil to help survive the cold cruel capitalist winter. The hogshead of liquid warmth is available to anyone enduring a financial hardship who fills out a handy online form.