Yes, Your Valentine’s Day Flowers Might Be Late Because Of The Weather

Florists have a rare convergence of crappy conditions for this Valentine’s Day, typically their busiest day of the year. As snow and ice smack the East Coast, many businesses have concluded that they’d rather send their employees home safe to their loved ones than deliver dead plants to their customers’ loved ones. [More]

Lawyer Brings Back Free Divorce Contest For Yet Another Valentine’s Day

Lawyer Brings Back Free Divorce Contest For Yet Another Valentine’s Day

If there’s one day that’s even more painful than all the rest when you’re in a bad relationship, it’s Valentine’s Day. Everyone around you is smooching under flowery bowers of love with little birds chirping and singing and you’re arguing under a freeway underpass about who bought toilet paper last and besides, it was the wrong kind of toilet paper and I don’t love you anymore. Here’s where a free divorce might be nice. [More]


Blame Nature, Not Your Lover, If Valentine’s Day Flowers Don’t Show

Friday is Valentine’s Day, the annual Festival of Pink and Red Dead Plants and Sometimes Chocolate. This year, the timing of the holiday poses a special challenge to florists and other gift-deliverers: The 14th falls on a Friday, and the next business day is a federal holiday when many workplaces close. That’s tricky enough, but what about the blast of ice and snow currently threatening much of the country? [More]

Let’s Go Ahead And Call “Pre-Valentine’s Day” What It Is: Any Calendar Day Before Feb. 14

Let’s Go Ahead And Call “Pre-Valentine’s Day” What It Is: Any Calendar Day Before Feb. 14

Nice try, businesses attempting to create something out of nothing that people will nevertheless spend money on, but “Pre-Valentine’s Day” is not a thing. Or at least it shouldn’t be, unless you’re simply referring to say, Feb. 13, Feb. 12 or even Jan. 17. Or heck, any of the 44 days that fall before Valentine’s Day on the calendar. But don’t think that means we need to rush out for a romantic dinner under the pretense of yet another so-called occasion. [More]

How To Not Suck… At Valentine’s Day Gifts

How To Not Suck… At Valentine’s Day Gifts

Heads-up to everyone in a couple: Valentine’s Day is Friday and some of you will be expected to give some sort of gift to your loved ones. Sure, there’s nothing wrong with chocolates, jewelry, or flowers, but that special someone in your life is probably worth a little creativity and planning… right? [More]

(Reddit User prometheus2808)

This McDonald’s Hosts Candlelit Valentine’s Dinners, With “Musical Selections By Ron”

If you’re looking for a relatively cheap and brief Valentine’s Day dinner and also happen to live near Southport, NC, then there’s a McDonald’s that is calling your name. [More]

CVS Valentine’s Display “Keeps It Sweet” With Candy, Flowers, Condoms, Plan B, Toy Handcuffs

CVS Valentine’s Display “Keeps It Sweet” With Candy, Flowers, Condoms, Plan B, Toy Handcuffs

It surfaced on Twitter: a “romantic Valentine’s display” at a CVS store somewhere in southern New Jersey with a very pragmatic take on what customers might need for a special evening. On the shelf: cupcake-shaped bath bombs, roses, picture frames, condoms, a variety of personal lubricants, a dose of Plan B, some “male enhancement” supplements, and toy handcuffs. Hmm, some of those things don’t seem appropriate. [More]

The lovely flowers that arrived.

I Ordered Directly From A Local Florist, And It Was Awesome

Why are we still yammering about Valentine’s Day flowers? The holiday itself is long gone, but as birthdays, funerals, hospitalizations, and other occasions come and go, the problems with using national Big Flower websites remain. As another major flower-sending holiday, Mother’s Day, approaches, we’re sharing this story from reader Josh about how wonderfully his order from a local florist turned out. [More]

FTD Thinks ‘A Different Vase Is OK’ And ‘Change The Flowers Entirely’ Mean The Same Thing

The same thing. Right?

At high-volume times like Valentine’s Day, and at any other time, really, flower-delivery services like FTD reserve the right to substitute something similar if they don’t have the exact item in stock that you want. Mark was upset shortly after Valentine’s Day because he ordered an arrangement that had a purple container, purple flowers, and some white lilies in it. Purple is her favorite color, you see, and lilies are her favorite flower. Isn’t Mark thoughtful? Speaking for the ladies of America, he is. He’s also really mad. [More]

Not the flowers! Noooo!

Thief Dressed As Deliveryman Walks Out Of Florist With 21 Bouquets On Valentine’s Day

Valentine’s Day is a chaotic time for florists, with temporary help mixing with regular staff to get everything delivered on time and to the right recipient. (Well, mostly.) In Chicago, one busy florist claims that a man took advantage of the floral fracas to walk off with 21 flower arrangements worth a total of $2,000. [More]

One of these things is not like the other

The 2013 Valentine’s Day Garden Of Discontent

This year, the major national flower-distribution networks were just as busy as usual on Valentine’s Day. Busy being terrible at their jobs. Maybe the vast majority of flower arrangements ended up where they were supposed to and looked more or less correct, but it’s the outliers that make both senders and recipients feel like crap. When the vast floral-industrial complex markets to us with the message that the quality of the flowers we send or receive is a proxy for the quality of our love, then they should go out of their way not to screw that up for us. Right? [More]

1-800 Flowers is doing a lot of apologizing today.

Twitter Feeds For 1-800 Flowers, FTD Are Apologizing More Than Boyfriends Who Screwed Up Valentine’s Day

We’ve shown you some Valentine’s Day disasters from one floral delivery service, and we’re sorting through the many photos sent in by angry customers of other companies. But if you want to see just how peeved customers are, look no further than the Twitter feeds for FTD and 1-800 Flowers. [More]

Valentine’s Day Garden Of Discontent: The 2013 Entries From Proflowers

Valentine’s Day Garden Of Discontent: The 2013 Entries From Proflowers

When Proflowers isn’t accusing people of bigamy, Proflowers is apparently busy really, really disappointing girlfriends. So far today we’ve received two reports of the company dispatching really subpar roses. What the recipients actually got is nice and all, but not what the sender paid for. [More]


IKEA Wants You To Make A Baby Today, Offering Free Cribs To Kids Born 9 Months From Now

Today is a day of love, affection, chocolates, roses, cards and a bunch of other romantic whatnot. But for folks in parts of Australia whose Valentine’s Day fun results in offspring, IKEA is offering up free furniture. [More]

(Chris Rief aka Spodie Odie)

“Let’s Read” And 8 Other Retired Sayings Your Sweetheart Candies Won’t Say Today

While we’re unsure if anyone has secured a promise of love or even a date by way of candy heart in the 147 years since Sweetheart candies have been around, we are pretty darn certain that such a thing has never been accomplished via fax. Which is why the makers of the iconic heart candies, Necco, has retired plenty of sayings in the past. Somehow “FAX ME,” “LET’S READ” and “YOU ARE GAY” failed to inspire romantic ardor, it seems. [More]

Tell Trader Joe's you'd rather have your meat sans antibiotics.

Trader Joe’s Fans Ask Store To Stop Selling Drugged-Up Meat

Trader Joe’s has a lot of fans who evangelize on behalf of the food and service at the grocery store chain, but some of those same superfans are asking their favorite food fix to please stop selling meat full of antibiotics. [More]

One of these things is greener than the other.

FTD Kicks Off The Valentine’s Day Disappointment Season With Subpar Roses On February 11th

Alex tried to beat the rush. He had a dozen roses delivered to his lady’s workplace on Monday, February 11th, paying $96 for the privilege. Whatever he expected, it was not what appears in the photo that he sent: even properly lit, there’s a lot more green and a lot less luscious red rose in that picture than there should be. [More]


If You Really Loved Me, You’d Give Me Candy Shaped Like Your Face

Valentine’s Day is fast approaching and around the world, people are turning their thoughts toward love. Sweet, sweet delicious edible love shaped like someone’s head. Wait, what? No, the zombie epidemic isn’t finally upon us (yet), but technology has made it possible to ingest the chocolate facsimile of a loved one. [More]