There he goes. (YouTube)

City Officials Flushing 38 Million Gallons Of Water After Teen Pees In Portland Reservoir

The reason cranky adults yell things like “Get off my lawn!” at teenagers isn’t just to protect that lawn. No, we’ve learned in our wise old age that it’s just easier than yelling “Please think about your decisions and how they will affect those around you before you do something just because you think it’s funny!” Case in point: A 19-year-old who’s wasted 38 million gallons of drinking water just because he apparently thought it’d be hilarious to pee in it. [More]

11-Year-Old Destroys $36,000 Worth Of MacBooks By Peeing On Them

11-Year-Old Destroys $36,000 Worth Of MacBooks By Peeing On Them

If smoking near your computer turns it into a biohazard, what does urinating on it do? According to local police, a Pennsylvania elementary school found out when an 11-year-old student emptied his bladder on a cart full of MacBooks. This hilarious prank destroyed more than $36,000 worth of computers. [More]

Jon Stewart on Trucker Bombs

Jon Stewart on Trucker Bombs

We’re sure you’re as fascinated by the trucker bomb phenomenon as we are. Honestly, we are seriously considering making our next Consumerist photo contest dedicated to them, or perhaps merely a contest to see who can send the most trucker bombs to Poppy Z. Brite’s house in payback for the many literary trucker bombs she’s forced us all to endure over the years. Note to Poppy’s attorneys over at CyberTrialLawyer.com: just kidding!

Trucker Bombs Demystified

Trucker Bombs Demystified

It’s early, so you might be reading this while drinking a morning glass of apple juice. We advise you to swallow that and put the glass far out of reach before you click the link.

For Today’s On-The-Go Urinator

For Today’s On-The-Go Urinator

Everyone’s had that horrible moment once in their life when they just had to go to the bathroom, yet couldn’t. Maybe you were stuck on a wide-open stretch of highway, or enduring the spasms of your bladder on an airplane when stuck in a delayed landing pattern. At first, you try to ignore it, but pretty soon, you can feel it practically bubbling up in your stomach, swimming around your molars. You’re certain if you don’t vacate immediately, geysers will start spraying out of your ears like a cartoon character.