United Fliers, Prepare To Be Bored By This Punishingly Long “Humorous” Safety Video

United Fliers, Prepare To Be Bored By This Punishingly Long “Humorous” Safety Video

Even people who haven’t flown are pretty familiar with the basics of the safety spiel the cabin crew gives before takeoff — no smoking, buckle your seatbelt and keep it buckled, know where the exits are, don’t freak the f*#$ out when the oxygen bag thing drops, and if we crash into the water and manage to survive, you can float in the freezing water on your seat cushion. The more concise an airline can make these statements, the better. But United Airlines thinks that the best way to make you give a hoot about airline safety is to make you watch a 4.5-minute video that tries to tickle your funny bone. [More]

United Airlines Forgets To Finish Letter About (SPECIFIC PROBLEM)

United Airlines Forgets To Finish Letter About (SPECIFIC PROBLEM)

A few weeks ago, a passenger experienced some kind of problem with (MAJOR U.S. AIRLINE). She sent a complaint letter about this (SPECIFIC EVENT) and received a printed letter back. This letter made it clear that the person who sent the letter had forgotten to use (CUSTOMER RELATIONS MANAGEMENT SOFTWARE) to fill in the blanks, resulting in a Mad Libs apology of sorts. Naturally, the recipient posted it to (POPULAR SOCIAL MEDIA SITE). [More]

What Happens To Your Plane Ticket When There’s A Death In The Family?

(frankieleon)

There are all kinds of reasons why you might not be able to fly when you were planning to, or need to make a change in a scheduled itinerary. Unfortunately, one of those might be the death of a loved one. But now that most domestic airlines don’t offer special bereavement fares, many fliers find themselves dealing with airlines after they’ve already bought tickets to try to make changes. But because airlines don’t want just anyone to pull the “my grandma died,” often customers are finding the process of changing or canceling flights in these situations daunting, confusing, and well, a bit tacky. [More]

(Twitter)

United Airlines Flight Makes Emergency Landing After Slide Deploys Midflight

You never want to be a in a situation where the inflatable emergency exit slide on your airplane deploys, as its “emergency exit” name implies there is an emergency and you should be exiting. But what about when that slide is the emergency? [More]

United Changing Frequent-Flier Program To Reward Big Spenders

United Changing Frequent-Flier Program To Reward Big Spenders

For years, traditional frequent-flier plans awarded miles on the distance flown, but those days seem to be winding down. Now you have to spend more to earn more, and United Airlines is joining the ranks of airlines rewarding passengers who don’t book the cheapest tickets. [More]

United Flight Diverted Because Passengers Aren’t Supposed To Charge The Cockpit

United Flight Diverted Because Passengers Aren’t Supposed To Charge The Cockpit

What should have been a few-hour flight from Houston to New York City on Saturday evening turned into an 8-hour slog with a long stopover in Memphis for passengers of United flight 1435, which never made it all the way to its intended destination. All because a passenger decided to rush the cockpit. [More]

United Airlines Pilots Call For CEO To Be Bumped From The Company

United Airlines Pilots Call For CEO To Be Bumped From The Company

It’s been a rough few weeks for United Airlines; once again coming in dead last in an annual customer satisfaction survey of major U.S. carriers, and then posting a quarterly loss of nearly half a billion dollars while Delta and American earned huge profits. Now the leadership of the largest chapter of the United pilots union is making no attempt to hide their disapproval of CEO Jeff Smisek. [More]

Woman Ticketed For Google Glass Says United Airlines Asked Her To Take Off Device For “Security Reasons”

Woman Ticketed For Google Glass Says United Airlines Asked Her To Take Off Device For “Security Reasons”

You may remember the case from a few months ago of the California woman who received a traffic ticket for, among other things, driving while sporting Google’s wearable Glass device. That case was subsequently thrown out, but that same Glass wearer says United Airlines recently told her she had to take her device off while on the plane. [More]

United Flight From NYC To D.C. Grounded After Security Finds Bomb Threat On Twitter

United Flight From NYC To D.C. Grounded After Security Finds Bomb Threat On Twitter

Earlier this week a Dutch teenager landed in hot water after sending a threatening tweet to American Airlines. While the teen says she was joking, the airline took the threat seriously, as it should have. After a number of copycat tweets, nearly all airlines have been keeping a close eye on social media. That vigilance resulted in a temporarily grounded United Airlines flight Wednesday evening. [More]

It's a little hard to parse that spaghetti-like mess at the lower end of this graph, but it's quite easy to spot Spirit soaring high above the rest of the competition (Source: U.S. PIRG)

Spirit Airlines: The Most Complained-About Carrier In The U.S.

Yes, we’ve repeatedly made fun of delusional Spirit Airlines CEO Ben Baldanza for his claim that his company is the “most consumer-friendly” airline around, especially when it comes in dead-last in traveler opinion surveys and is the only U.S. carrier to make a recent list of the world’s worst airlines. And a new study confirms that Spirit’s passengers are several times more likely to complain than passengers on any other domestic carrier. [More]

No Lime In Your In-Flight Vodka Tonic? Blame Bad Weather, Drug Cartels

No Lime In Your In-Flight Vodka Tonic? Blame Bad Weather, Drug Cartels

Does your in-flight drink lack that certain something, a bit of citrus formerly provided by a lime? While I’m sorry for your loss, there are bigger problems than that out there, like drug cartels waging war with each other and natural disasters wreaking havoc with farmers’ crops. You can blame those issues for a temporary lime shortage that’s prompting many airlines to make do without lemon’s green sibling. [More]

Which Airlines Are The Fastest & Slowest At Responding To Customers On Twitter?

Which Airlines Are The Fastest & Slowest At Responding To Customers On Twitter?

Complaining on Twitter can often feel like trying to shout to someone across the street with a noisy parade going down the middle. And that disconnect can often get worse when trying to get the attention of a big company with hundreds or thousands of people vying for attention. Some companies now go to great lengths to make sure that customers get some sort of response within minutes, but is that response of any value? [More]

(malgaze)

United To Offer Free Movies, TV For Passengers Using Their Own Laptops, Apple Devices

It’s BYOD time on United Airlines flights soon: Any passenger with their own laptop or an Apple mobile device will be able to watch free inflight streaming TV and movies. Because in a Bring Your Own Device scenario, United doesn’t have to bother with those seatback or overhead screens. [More]

Why You Should Ask For A Refund If The Wi-Fi Doesn’t Work On Your Next United Flight

Why You Should Ask For A Refund If The Wi-Fi Doesn’t Work On Your Next United Flight

You’re sitting pretty, surfing away on the World Wide Web at 35,000 feet when the wireless Internet on your United flight stops working. And a few minutes later, it’s still not working. But even if the service for the entire plane is out for a while, United crew members won’t make a plane-wide announcement about it, so you’re on your own to ask for a refund. [More]

This thing rules you now.

United Airlines Will Now Send You Back To Check Your Oversized Carry-On At The Ticket Counter

We all see you trying to shove that ginormous rolling suitcase you call a “carry-on” into the overhead bin, and apparently United Airlines has noticed, too. The airline says that while it’s not changing its carry-on size policy, it’s issuing a gentle reminder that oversized bags will cost you extra, by way of a trip back to the ticket counter to check that sucker for $25. [More]

United’s Reservation System Wreaking Havoc At Airports Today

United’s Reservation System Wreaking Havoc At Airports Today

In a scene reminiscent of two embarrassing 2012 incidents, United Airlines is doing a lot of apologizing today after a problem with its reservation system has resulted in long lines at airports around the country. [More]

(Flying Photog)

Severe Turbulence Injures Five People On United Flight

Most of the time, turbulence is just an uncomfortable, if not almost inevitable part of flying. But then there are the times when turbulence is downright terrifying and a real danger. Three flight attendants and five passengers on a United Airlines flight yesterday from Denver to Billings, Mont. were injured when the plane hit turbulence so severe, people were tossed from their seats. [More]

United's new cup.

United Airlines Realizes It’s 2014, Ditches Styrofoam Coffee Cups

First of all yes, dear readers, Styrofoam is a trademarked name for insulation and what we really mean when we use the lowercase word is “extruded polystyrene.” Moving on: Joining the rest of the 21st century in an aim to “go green,” United Airlines says it will stop using styrofoam coffee cups in its lounges and on flights. [More]