No laughing matter.

Restaurant Chain Suing Sweets Company Over Smiley-Faced Cookies

In a case that just makes me want to order folks to turn their frowns upside down, a Pennsylvania baked goods company is suing a Chicago business over what it calls a similar use of smiley faces on cookies. Can’t we all just eat cookies featuring joyful visages and be happy about it? [More]

Walmart Is Now The Rightful Owner Of Walmart.Horse

Walmart Is Now The Rightful Owner Of Walmart.Horse

You’ll have to excuse us if we’re not in the greatest spirits today, as we’re in mourning for the loss of Walmart.horse, the nonsense website that Walmart spent actual time and money to shut down and acquire. [More]

Not a Kerns Kitchen Derby-Pie.

Owners Of Derby-Pie Trademark Fight To Keep It From Becoming Genericized

First of all, what’s a derby pie? For those not living in or near Louisville, many Kentucky Derby fans say it’s a pie made with bourbon, chocolate chips and pecans. And then there’s one company that says it’s a walnut treat made without bourbon. Thing is, the latter holds the trademark to the phrase Derby-Pie, and it’s not ready to allow others to peddle their own iterations of the traditional dessert with that name. [More]

Katy Perry’s Attempt To Claim A Trademark On “Left Shark” Design Fails Like A Left Shark

Katy Perry’s Attempt To Claim A Trademark On “Left Shark” Design Fails Like A Left Shark

The “Left Shark” phenomenon that overtook the world after Katy Perry’s Super Bowl halftime show has long since exited the cultural dialog, and yet the battle rages on over whether or not the pop star can claim a trademark on the uncoordinated, anthropomorphic fish. [More]

Court Throws Out NJ Turnpike’s Lawsuit Against Pizzeria With Lookalike Logo

Court Throws Out NJ Turnpike’s Lawsuit Against Pizzeria With Lookalike Logo

Last summer, the New Jersey Turnpike Authority sued the small Florida-based Jersey Boardwalk pizzeria chain over the restaurant’s logo, which looks remarkably similar to that of the Garden State Parkway. Earlier this week, a federal court in New Jersey dismissed the suit saying that the pizza chain didn’t have enough contact with the state to allow for the Turnpike Authority to file a lawsuit there. [More]

(Steven Depolo)

You Can Soon Buy “.Sucks” URLs, But At Prices That .Suck

If you’ve ever dreamed of using the recently approved .sucks top-level domain suffix to make fun of companies that annoy you, your chance is coming up when registration opens later this month. However, a .sucks domain won’t exactly come cheap, so be prepared to be outbid by the company you’d love to skewer. [More]

(mikeandanna)

TiVo Gets Approval From Bankruptcy Court Judge To Buy Some Aereo Assets

If Aereo wasn’t dead already, the announcement from TiVo that it’s successfully snagged the former streaming service’s trademarks and customer lists will certainly send any hopes that the company could resurrect itself six feet into the ground. After an assets auction last month where companies picked over Aereo’s bones, TiVo says a U.S. Bankruptcy Court judge has approved its purchase of those assets. [More]

The image above represents all of the content ever posted on Walmart.horse. Think about the money wasted on legal fees to have this site taken down the next time the price of bread goes up.

Walmart Displeased With Walmart.Horse, Wants It Taken Down

If you’re looking for the Walmart website, your instinct would be to simply go to Walmart.com, or maybe Walmart.net, or even Walmart.org… all of which go to the same place. There is currently no reason whatsoever to type the URL Walmart.horse into your web browser, but if you go there, you get pretty much exactly what you’d expect — a picture of a horse and a Walmart store. [More]

(The Caldor Rainbow)

Macy’s Tries Again To Win Back Trademarks From Man Who Resurrected Astro Pops And Hydrox

When Macy’s Inc. swallowed up a slew of department stores across the land — from Marshall Field’s to Filene’s, Abraham & Straus to Jordan Marsh — it rebranded many of them, turning the formerly regional chains into Macy’s stores. But in a new lawsuit brought by the company that echoes a suit from 2011 that was slated to come to trial soon, Macy’s says the California company behind the resurrection of Hydrox and Astro Pops is infringing on trademarks it held for many of those recognizable brand names. [More]

(Ted Eytan)

Huy Fong Founder Doesn’t Regret Failing To Trademark “Sriracha”

Twenty-Five years ago, David Tran’s Huy Fong Foods began selling its now-famous Sriracha hot sauce. Now the “sriracha” name shows up on Heinz ketchup, the Taco Bell menu, Pizza Hut crusts, potato chips from Pringles, and numerous other items. But Tran and his company don’t see a dime for any of those products because he didn’t think to trademark the word back in 1980. [More]

Red Bull Tries To Block Brewer From Trademarking “Old Ox” Because They Are Both Bovines

We know it's hard to tell the two apart, but the one on the left is probably for Red Bull... we think.

Whether it’s the pizzeria logo that resembles the Garden State Parkway sign, two beers battling over the use of the same three letters, or a bunch of marijuana edibles with humorous takes on famous chocolate brands, even the silliest trademark disputes are usually based in the argument that maybe someone out there might possibly confuse the products. But the folks at Red Bull have a problem with a Virginia brewer who wants to trademark the name “Old Ox” simply because the two brands are bovine in nature. [More]

(anokarina)

Because a child is not a hazelnut chocolate spread, a judge in France has rejected a couple’s attempt to legally name their baby “Nutella,” saying it’s not only a trademarked name, but also would be “contrary to the child’s interest to be wearing a name like that” as it “can only lead to teasing or disparaging thoughts.” [La Voix Du Nord via Time.com]

Illinois Woman Trying To Trademark “I Can’t Breathe” To Sell Hoodies Says She’s Not In It For The Money

Illinois Woman Trying To Trademark “I Can’t Breathe” To Sell Hoodies Says She’s Not In It For The Money

It’s a sad reality we live in, when tragic events in the news are inevitably followed by people trying to make money off that newsworthiness. But one Illinois woman says she’s not trying to cash in on the death of Eric Garner, a New York City man who died in police custody, with her attempt to trademark his last words, “I can’t breathe.” She just wants to make hoodies with that phrase on it and sell them. [More]

McDonald’s Trademarks Slogans That Are Even Worse Than “Lovin’ Beats Hatin'”

"Lovin' > Hatin'" beats "Lovin' Beats Hatin'" in a showdown of the awful, awful slogan ideas that McDonald's is kicking around.

Late last week it was reported that McDonald’s would launch a marketing campaign in January with the phrase “Lovin’ Beats Hatin'” at its center, but the reality of what the burger behemoth actually trademarked makes those three words sound almost authentic by comparison. [More]

McDonald’s Tries Again To Trademark “McBrunch”

McDonald’s Tries Again To Trademark “McBrunch”

Given McDonald’s love of selling breakfast, and its even deeper affection for trademarking anything even vaguely food-related starting with “Mc,” it’s surprising to learn that the company is just now getting around to trying to stake its claim on the phrase, “McBrunch.” But the real question is: Does this mean a real brunch menu is on the way from McDonald’s? [More]

Twitpic Shutting Down Over Trademark Spat With Twitter

Twitpic Shutting Down Over Trademark Spat With Twitter

While Twitter has allowed users to upload photos directly to their feeds for quite some time, some users still prefer Twitpic for hosting and sharing their images. But Twitter apparently has an issue with the “Twit” part of Twitpic’s name, so the service will soon cease operations instead of getting caught up in a drawn-out legal fight over a name. [More]

Sold now by Hartz.

Artist Claims Pet Toy Company Made Millions Off Her “Angry Birds” Design Without Paying Her

A Seattle artist who designed a line of plush pet toys called “Angry Birds” back in 2006 is now suing the company that sold them, claiming it cut her out of the process — and millions of dollars — when it licensed the design to the makers of the popular Angry Birds game. [More]

(Misfit Photographer)

Chubby Checker, HP Reach Settlement Over Penis-Measuring App

It’s been more than a year since a dispute between singer Chubby Checker and Hewlitt-Packard over a penis-measuring app plunged this country into darkness, dividing households, pitting brother against brother, leaving deep scars from which we may never heal — but which will always stand as a reminder of an era we’d all like to forget. Finally, the two parties have put aside their differences for the sake of generations to come, and reached a settlement. [More]