(Quadel)

The pumpkin pie is jiggling like it’s got a life of its own, the turkey is sadly unbrowned and swimming in watery, unappetizing gravy and the mashed potatoes taste like glue. No one wants that scenario, which is why we’re all lucky there are experts out there to boil Thanksgiving down to the basics and tell the rest of us what to do. Thanks to them, we can all pull off an impressive dinner. Or at least give it the old college try. Take it away, experts! [NYTimes.com]

Costco, BJ’s Would Rather Have Their Employees Spend Thanksgiving At Home

Costco, BJ’s Would Rather Have Their Employees Spend Thanksgiving At Home

This year, everyone from Kmart to Macy’s to Staples will be celebrating the time-honored tradition of ruining Thanksgiving by throwing open their doors early to shoppers eager to flee the company of their families in favor of door-buster deals on junk the stores are desperate to get rid of. But some retailers simply refuse to get into the spirit of Black Thursday and won’t open until — get this — the day after Thanksgiving. [More]

Insider: Everyone At Best Buy Dreads 6 P.M. Thanksgiving Day Opening

Insider: Everyone At Best Buy Dreads 6 P.M. Thanksgiving Day Opening

We’ve been writing a lot about major retailers’ plans to open on Thanksgiving Day. In case it isn’t clear, we aren’t fans of this phenomenon. According to to our poll data, our mailbox, and comments left here on the site, neither are our readers. We received a lengthy rant from an anonymous Geek Squad agent about how things look right now at Best Buy, and what workers at Big Yellow and Blue have to look forward to. [More]

Walmart To Workers: Sorry You Won’t Be Home On Thanksgiving, Here’s A Turkey Dinner

Walmart To Workers: Sorry You Won’t Be Home On Thanksgiving, Here’s A Turkey Dinner

There’s nothing like a home-cooked meal, surrounded by loved ones with the warmth and satisfaction that comes from a full belly and companionship. Walmart thinks it can replace at least parts of that experience by giving employees a turkey dinner with mashed potatoes, rolls and pie for anyone working on Thanksgiving Day. [More]

(smohundro)

This satirical Onion overview of Black Friday sales is funny and all, but we’re pretty sure that they printed an error. The store that’s offering a “[c]omplimentary all-encompassing sadness and pervasive sense that your life wasn’t supposed to be like this with every purchase” is actually Kmart. And it starts at 6 A.M. on Thanksgiving Day. [The Onion]

Does Your Family Want A Cajun-Seasoned Fried Turkey This Thanksgiving? From Popeyes?

Does Your Family Want A Cajun-Seasoned Fried Turkey This Thanksgiving? From Popeyes?

In order to save time and their loved ones’ digestive systems, many Americans opt for a heat and serve turkey, adding their own side dishes as needed. Grocery store delis offer them, along with quick-serve restaurants. But would you turn to a fried chicken joint for your family’s Thanksgiving main course? [More]

You Won’t Be Enjoying Thanksgiving Dinner Because Retailers Can’t Wait For Black Friday

You Won’t Be Enjoying Thanksgiving Dinner Because Retailers Can’t Wait For Black Friday

It’s time to face facts: Retailers are jumping on the Let’s Start Offering Big Sales On Thanksgiving Day bandwagon left and right, so you probably won’t be enjoying your dinner very much this year. Target, Toys ‘R’ Us and Kohl’s have all announced they’ll be open earlier than ever on Thanksgiving this year, and Walmart probably will too. [More]

(Triscuit Biscuit)

Best Buy Knows You Want To Waste Thanksgiving Camping Out For Stuff You Could Probably Buy Online For Less

It’s a little-known fact that at the first Thanksgiving feast, some of the pilgrims were sitting around the table while wishing in their heart of hearts that they were camped outside the local loom-and-musket shop in hopes of snatching up bargains. Hundreds of years later, Best Buy is finally honoring that wish by opening up at 6 p.m. on Turkey Day. [More]

(Mahat Tattva)

Hundreds Of Simon Malls Will Open On Thanksgiving Day, Stay Open 26+ Hours Straight

Simon Property Group might not be a household name, but you’ve probably visited one of their establishments before: they’re the whole or partial owner of hundreds of malls. That’s 242 million square feet of retail space and thousands of stores in almost every state, Canada, and Asia. Most of them are opening up during dinnertime or the early evening on Thanksgiving Day. [More]

Tipster: Staples To Open at 9 P.M. On Thanksgiving Day

Tipster: Staples To Open at 9 P.M. On Thanksgiving Day

Last Black Friday, office supply chain Staples slept in, relatively speaking. They didn’t open up until 5 A.M. on Black Friday. No snoozing and losing out on those early shoppers in 2013: this year, mysterious folks in red shirts have told us that Staples stores are opening up at 9 P.M. on Thanksgiving Day. Disrupting family-based holidays: that was easy. [More]

WashuOtaku)

JCPenney Joins Macy’s In Opening At 8 P.M. On Thanksgiving Day

Birds of a feather flock together, especially when there are some particularly tasty crumbs to be had. In thise case JCPenney is joining Macy’s in opening at 8 p.m. on Thanksgiving Day, the better to gobble up whichever tasty customers are tempted to start shopping as early as possible. [More]

Macy’s Confirms It Will Open At 8 P.M. On Thanksgiving, Stay Open For 24 Hours

Macy’s Confirms It Will Open At 8 P.M. On Thanksgiving, Stay Open For 24 Hours

Two weeks ago we were the first to tell you about the possibility of Macy’s joining the ranks of premature Black Friday openings, alerting employees it might throw open its doors as early as 8 p.m. on Thanksgiving. Now the department store chain has not only confirmed that most of its stores will open early, but that these storee will remain open for 24 hours. [More]

Deals Are Better On Thanksgiving Than On Black Friday, And I Hate Everything

Deals Are Better On Thanksgiving Than On Black Friday, And I Hate Everything

Here at Consumerist, we’ve been vociferously against Black Friday creep, the slow slide of the first official day of holiday shopping frenzy back into Thanksgiving Day. Last year, we supported retail employees who were against opening on Thanksgiving, and humbly suggested that retailers just go ahead and move Black Friday back a week. No one is listening to us. [More]

(PinkMoose)

Butterball Introducing Male Turkey Talk Line Operators For The First Time This Year

“How long do I cook it? “Where do I stuff the stuffing? Do I cook it inside the turkey?” “What is a turkey?” These are all questions a first-time turkey chef might have when the big day arrives. The holidays: when people who perhaps are unfamiliar with cooking wield basters and eye their fowl foes, when help is only a phone call away at the Butterball Turkey Talk help line. And this year, there could be male voices on the other end. [More]

Two Whole Aisles Of Thanksgiving Decorations Out At Dollar General

Two Whole Aisles Of Thanksgiving Decorations Out At Dollar General

If just ceramic turkey figurines aren’t good enough for the Thanksgiving table that you’re obviously preparing three months in advance, maybe you can use some other decorations. Perhaps fall-colored oven mitts, holiday-themed dish towels, pumpkin picture frames, owl figurines, turkey window decals, or turkey figurines.  [More]

The coffee that saved one Thanksgiving.

How Dave’s Coffee Saved One Customer’s Thanksgiving

When Consumerist reader and New Jersey resident Brian lost power for nearly a week following Hurricane Sandy, he also thought his plans to craft some homemade coffee ice cream for Thanksgiving had gone kaput too. [More]

({Guerrilla Futures | Jason Tester})

Retailers Squeezed $25 More Out Of The Average Shopper With Extra Thanksgiving Sales

The Black Friday creep seems to have paid off for retailers (even as it casts a dubious shadow over Thanksgiving), as shoppers shelled out about $25 more per person during this year’s Thanksgiving-centered sales last week. Of course in many cases, Black Friday wasn’t even limited to just Friday, with plenty of retailers hosting sales and opening their doors on Thanksgiving. Overall, shoppers spent about 13% more than we did last year. [More]

(Alan Rappa)

Remember To Send Us Your Black Friday Photos And Horror Stories

Given the sheer number of people who will be out and about this weekend, it’s inevitable that some of you will have experiences ranging from the ridiculous to the horrifying to the horrifyingly ridiculous. But don’t just keep them to yourself, share them with Consumerist. [More]