(arbyreed)

Police: Do You Have Four Logs Of Swiss Cheese Stuffed Down Your Pants Or… (Insert Punchline)

I can imagine getting away with stuffing one log of rather expensive Swiss cheese down your pants and passing it off as a “No big deal, nothing to see here, just a guy walking around a store,” situation. But four logs of cheese? Come on now, we know you’re not just really, really happy to see us. [More]

(Rusty Clark)

Philadelphia’s Swiss Cheese Defiler Pleads Guilty In Cheese-Defiling Harassment Case, Gets Probation

The words are almost too painful to write — I can’t help but think of that poor cheese — but Philadelphia’s so called “Swiss Cheese Pervert” has pleaded guilty to publicly defiling Swiss cheese. Or rather, he pleaded guilty to two counts of indecent exposure and four counts of harassment. [More]

Sigh. FINE, Switzerland. You win... this time. (AP)

Wisconsinites Plunged Into Despair After A Swiss Emmentaler Nabs World’s Best Cheese Title

That headline is not a joke. Do I wish with my cheesiest of Wisconsin born and bred hearts that it was? Yes, because I can only imagine the depths of despair cheeseheads have been plunged into after a team of Swiss cheesemakers swooped in and grabbed the title of World Champion during this year’s competition on sacred dairy ground. Otherwise known as Madison, WI. [More]