While few had heard of this smalltime contender out of California until just before the tournament began, Westland/Hallmark had all the fundamentals in place: a huge scandal, public health hazards, child endangerment, animal cruelty, and video evidence. Though News Corp., (responsible for atrocities such as "MySpace") received the second most nominations of any company, they failed to deliver when the votes counted.

"It's a Cinderella story for Hallmark," said Editor, Ben Popken. "News Corp is just too big a creature to hate all at once," speculated Chris Walters, our Associate Editor.

We asked Weekend Editor, Carey G-B if the Hallmark/Westland "Mad Cows" have what it takes to contend with #34 United Health Care in the second round... Carey? Carey, are you there? He's too depressed to answer! He's burning his Rupert Murdoch T-shirt!

Congratulations to the Hallmark/Westland "Mad Cows" for this historic victory!

Reuters helpfully explains, "Christmas crackers usually contain colored hats, small toys and jokes."

"A far from cracking surprise - a dead mouse" [Reuters]
(Photo: Getty)