Oozinator Ooze Tested

Captivated by the Oozinator squirt guns possibilities, mainly those involving its ability to shoot ooze, we ordered one. Here is the money shot. It fulfills all your hopes and dreams. This is but a preview of a longer ooze opus. Enjoy.

Oozinator Doesn’t Want Our Interview

Oozinator Doesn’t Want Our Interview

We submitted our questions to Hasbro PR but for some strange reason we can’t fathom, they’re less than oozing out of their suits to speak with us.

The Oozinator Delights Children

Hasbro Marketing Executive, a glowing light bulb bouncing merrily above his skull: “I’ve got it! First, we’ll design our new Supersoaker water gun with the shape and hue of a grotesque alien phallus. Then, instead of water, we’ll make it squirt ropes of thick, opalescent ooze! Finally, we’ll market it with a television spot in which a pan-ethnic rainbow of small children are the gleeful recipients to load after hot, sticky load shot all over their chests and faces! It’s a win!”