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Two-Time Krispy Kreme Challenge Winner Can Somehow Run 4 Miles & Eat 12 Doughnuts Without Barfing

While I could maybe probably run four miles and definitely eat a dozen doughnuts, I couldn’t accomplish both in the same day, much less the same hour. That’s why it’s somewhat amazing that a two-time Krispy Kreme Challenge winner has managed to run two miles to Krispy Kreme, stop and eat 12 doughnuts, then run two more miles in only an hour. And without losing the contents of his stomach, to boot. Or not to boot. You get it. [More]

Parents Group Calls Happy Meal Version Of The Human Torch A
"Horrifying Spectacle"

Parents Group Calls Happy Meal Version Of The Human Torch A "Horrifying Spectacle"

I’m having trouble telling whether the Campaign for a Commercial-Free Childhood is serious, or whether someone at the organization saw that Venture Brothers episode and got confused, so I’ll just describe what they’re doing and you can decide for yourselves. The group has launched a letter writing campaign to demand that McDonald’s stop giving out Marvel superhero toys, specifically The Thing and The Human Torch, because they’re too violent. [More]

FlyJumper Ad Promises To Make You Awesome, Then Rich, Then Dead

FlyJumper Ad Promises To Make You Awesome, Then Rich, Then Dead

In the U.S. they’re called PoweriZers, but in the U.K. those springy pogo-boot things are called FlyJumpers, and the company that sells them has come up with a bizarre ad that appeals to… materialistic and amoral fame-seekers who are suicidal, we guess? The commercial—which is available on the Amazon.co.uk product info page—shows a bank robber making an amazing escape on his FlyJumpers, and getting away with thousands of pound notes. Then, inexplicably, it turns into a scene from “Final Destination.”

Pizza Delivery Superhero Thwarts Purse Snatching

Pizza Delivery Superhero Thwarts Purse Snatching

Pizza Delivery just got its own caped crusader. An orange spandex leotard painted across his doughy frame, additionally dressed in ivory tights and tunic, Cameron Evans of Galactic Pizza keeps the streets of Minneapolis safe from the superstitious and cowardly lot that prey upon the fine, upstanding pizza consumers of uptown.

Monday Morning Reminder: We Want To Be Your Superhero

Monday Morning Reminder: We Want To Be Your Superhero

We’re going to be trying something new at the Consumerist. We’d like to help you guys out more. Whether that’s doing some research to get you a hard-to-get phone number to resolve a customer service issue, point you in the direction of consumerist services or agencies that can help you, or even interceding on your behalf. We’ve been making some stabs over the last week at doing just that and we’d like to experiment more with helping you guys out in your blackest night going forward.