From 10Connects:

Wheelchair-bound Elfride Kuemmel was on her way back home to Tampa Monday when a US Airways employee wheeled her on to the wrong connecting flight.

The 83-year-old wound up in Puerto Rico, where she was initially told she'd have to spend the night at the airport.

Vera, of course, objected to this idea.

"I was upset, and I told them there was no way they were going to leave her in the airport all night waiting to leave on a flight at 3:30 in the afternoon," she told the local news.

US Airways ended up buying Elfride dinner, a hotel room, and a flight back to Florida. First class.

Elderly Tampa woman ''lost'' by US Airways [10Connects]

Reader Jay says:

I thought this email was particularly funny... Hi, we aren't allowed to send you e-mails, so we're sending you an e-mail to ask you if we can send you e-mails even though you told us not to...

Here's the email:

Dear JAY [Redacted]:

Because you are a valued customer and your opinion is important to us, we would like to periodically ask you to provide feedback regarding your experience with our hotels. The feedback we collect from our customers is used to make improvements to our hotels and processes so we can better serve you.

However, our records indicate that you have not given us permission to send customer survey invitations to you at this email address. If you would like the opportunity to provide occasional feedback, please give us permission to contact you at this email address to complete future surveys. This permission is for research purposes only and does not give us permission to send you any marketing or promotional information.

Thank you in advance for your feedback and for spending your time away from home at Marriott.

Sincerely,

J.W. Marriott, Jr.
Chairman and Chief Executive Officer
Marriott International, Inc.

(Photo: genetic.drift )

Here, courtesy of CNN, are the lyrics to the rap:

"When I retired, I was famous," McMahon raps in the video. "I had money and glory/I bought a house for 6 mill/I thought nothing could touch me/Until my credit went south, and debt started to crunch me/Next thing I know, instead of playing gin rummy, I was scrambling just to make ends meet/It wasn't funny."

After being joined by two scantily clad women, McMahon continues: "Got a bump from the media chumps, but that was temporary/Wife with bad credit was scary, so I got wise/I may have fallen, but I got back up/Now I'm back on the attack, like a ninja swinging nunchucks/I told the haters, 'Go on, take a hike'/It's my show now, and I can do what I like."

It will be released, presumably on sites like YouTube, in October. Watch it if you must, but remember: freecreditreport.com is a rip-off. If you want a free credit report, use annualcreditreport.com.

"Ed McMahon turns gangsta rapper" [CNN] (Thanks to Bryan!)

They told a woman they needed to come into her house to fix some wiring, according to a police report. She noted the men drove a black Saturn sedan rather than a marked Comcast vehicle and refused to let them enter, saying she didn't have an appointment.

The woman told police the men walked down the street knocking on doors.

An 80-year-old homeowner who lives across the street told police he and his son let the men inside. While inside, one of the men had the elderly man say his Social Security number into a cell phone and gave him a false work order, according to the report.

Comcast employees, including contractors, have identification available at all times and usually have a Comcast or contractor vehicle, company spokesman Steve Kipp said.

In some door-to-door sales cases, Comcast employees may ask for the last four digits of a customer's Social Security number to verify an account, he said. But that information also can be provided over the phone, Kipp said.

Installers never ask for money and should have their Comcast badges prominently displayed, he said.

Today the paper posted a new report that confirms that these mysterious social security number thieves were in fact actual Comcast contractors who were not following proper company procedure.

Kipp said the contractors, working for Roseville, Calif.-based Winmark Authorized Agent Group, should have had their Comcast identification present.

"We're working with the contracting company to make sure they're properly trained and an incident like this wouldn't happen again," Kipp said.

He said the Social Security and AARP membership information obtained from one man was used to verify a Comcast account and not retained by the contractors.

According to Winmark Authorized Agent Group's website they're a D2D marketing firm. They don't appear to be in the "wiring fixing" business.

Police searching for fraudulent Comcast employees [Seattle P-I]
Wanted Comcast contractors actually legit, company says [Seattle P-I]

We're thinking CC might be on to something in this new economy. Next up, "Sign up for credit today and get a free bag of flour! Bring a friend and get a packet of yeast and a potato!" If you let Firedog delete your unwanted desktop icons you'll probably get a free bowl of soup.

The Johnson County District Attorney, Phill Kline, told Fox News that Verizon not only seemed unhelpful, but possibly incompetent:

We did have a problem with Verizon. We're talking about 3 hours afterwards, they [the police] were already pushing for this information, with the sergeant speaking to Verizon directly at 2:30 a.m., demanding that this information be provided and it wasn't.

There was a lack of understanding on their end of what they were incapable of doing. I was on the conference call with Verizon, and we had three technicians telling us different things and using different terms, and we can't guess their mind. We've got a girl that's missing. We have a girl that's missing, we have a likely abduction, we need to find her.

Everyone involved in the search has made it clear that Verizon's incompetence had nothing to do with Kelsey's death, but it could have made the search a lot shorter, and saved a lot of people unnecessary grief. Unfortunately, when Verizon's president met with Kline and Kelsey's parents two months later, he brought three lawyers with him for protection.

Kelsey's mom told Fox, "If [Verizon] brought them because you think we're here to sue you, that's not what this is about." Says Kline, "They didn't realize that they have an opportunity... to establish a course that leads the way that is right and responsible, and instead they chose a different posture, and that's unfortunate."

Kelsey's mom:

We almost didn't get to say to goodbye to Kelsey, because of her body decomposition from being out there so long.

Kelsey's dad:

We never did get a why, that was the thing that was so frustrating, why can't you do this. That question was never answered.

"Why Did It Take So Long to Find Kelsey Smith?" (video) [MyFoxKC.com] (Thanks to Albert!)

Reader Kristina says:

What follows is a conversation between myself (me) and the customer service (CS) representative from Tropicana. (I called their 1.877.342.1813 number around 9:30 am, EST on 5 September 2008):

me: Hi, I am calling to ask about one of your ingredients listed in one of your products.

CS: Ok, go ahead.

me: the label on your juice product says its 100% juice but lists "natural flavors, ingredient not found in regular orange juice." Could you please let me know what, besides juice, is in your product?

CS: It's natural flavors, natural flavors come from anything in nature.

me: Can you please tell me what the specific "natural flavors" are that are added to your orange juice?

CS: Natural flavors can be anything from nature.

me: OK, but if it says "100% juice" doesn't that have to mean that the natural flavors are from another source of juice?

CS: No, its from anything in nature, it could be from dairy.

me: Dairy? But can't it NOT be from dairy, because it says 100% juice?!

CS: Well, its not from dairy, because dairy is a top 8 allergen and we would have to list that on the label, but I am saying it COULD be from dairy.

me: Can you please divulge what that said ingredient is?

CS: The product you have is from concentrate, any drink from concentrate has natural flavors.

me: I understand this, but what I am asking is WHAT are the natural flavors added to this specific beverage?

*** More back and forth, but ultimately getting her to understand why I was asking the question (re: food sensitivities)

me: Well I would urge your company to list all ingredients and not hide behind all encompassing terms such as "natural flavors" so that your consumers can know exactly what is in your products. I picked up your bottle of juice thinking it was safe because it listed "100% juice" on its label and now you are giving me *possible* contradictory information.

CS: Let me send you out a coupon for our Pure Premium line of juices that are not from concentrate and 100% juice.

Hmm. Maybe they think dairy is "cow juice?"

(Photo: Bonzo McGrue )

Chat Information
AT&T product specialists are happy to assist you with your questions. Click below to begin your live text chat. Chat representatives will not have access to your personal account. This service is provided to you under AT&Ts Terms and Conditions and Privacy Policy.

Chat Information
Welcome to AT&T. My name is Peter. How may I help you today?

Peter: I will be happy to answer your questions regarding AT&T services. I specialize in setting up new phone accounts and High Speed Internet service.

you: Hi Peter, I'm comparing services in the Columbus area. I'm looking for basic internet and cable tv. I wasn't very lucky in finding prices on the website.

you: I would like 2mbps internet and basic or standard tv service.

Peter: Do you currently have local service with AT&T?

you: I do not, I moved in a few days ago.

Peter: To clarify ordering DSL online does require a basic home phone line; which ranges in price from $5-$17 per month, and this would make your High Speed DSL prices $10 cheaper per month. Also if you place the order through phone you will be not eligible to get the current online promotions.

you: I'm in no need of a land line.

you: What online promotions are you speaking about?

(Long pause)

Peter: May I ask from which state you are?

you: I'm from **. I'm a new graduate student at ***

you: So my new residence is Columbus OH 43201

you: I mention it becuase I've been offered student discounts at other companies

(Another wait)

Peter: Good news though if you order online today you will receive the New Line Promotional credit making your phone activation free of charge which would cost you $38 to $40.

you: I don't want a phone.

you: I want internet and tv.

(Another wait)

Peter: However you can go for U-verse services if it is able in your area?

[Shouldn't he know if it's available in my area? I've provide my location.]

Peter: AT&T U-verse service is 100% digital television delivered over an Internet Protocol (IP) platform using fiber optic technology. AT&T U-verse also offers High Speed Internet and Voice (in limited areas) over IP access into your home.

you: That's fantastic, but I'm just looking for price quotes on basic internet and tv service. I don't need anything besides basic cable and 2Mbps dsl.

[A few minutes go by while I wait for a response.]

you: Well thanks Peter, but I think I'm going to find another service.

The customer, Will, adds, "I was then directed to a review of my chat session." His review was not favorable:

I let [AT&T] know I had no interest in being pushed canned lines by a salesperson with a shaky understanding of the English language, but would have expected, as I have experienced with other websites, online site assistance.

(Photo: Getty)

Sandra says:

I received the following advertisement in the mail today. It comes from a Feeny Dodge dealership in Elgin, Illinois. However, it came in an envelope marked "Traffic Division - Department of Ticket Disbursements" from Carol Stream, IL. I thought it was a traffic ticket so I opened the letter. I was surprised to learn that it was actually an advertisement for a local car dealership! Seriously, how low will a company go to get you to read their junk mail?

This is just sad. We were curious about the official-sounding stuff about consulting the F010 section of the DMM so we looked it up. It's the section of the official domestic mail manual that deals with Nondelivery of Mail. Tee hee. How authentic.

"There is a sign that clearly says, 'Don't step,'" American spokeswoman Mary Frances Fagan told the Chicago Tribune.

The Transportation Security Administration officer was conducting routine checks to make sure that planes parked at the airport overnight were secure from tampering, according to the federal security agency and American Airlines, which owns and operates American Eagle.

But while ensuring that aircraft doors were locked properly, the inspector either stepped onto or grabbed sensitive avionics probes mounted on the fuselage of nine American Eagle planes, officials said.

The TSA defended the officer's actions.

"Our inspector was following routine procedure for securing the aircraft that were on the tarmac," a Chicago based TSA official told ABCNews.com.

TSA Snafu Grounds Nine Planes at O'Hare Field [ABCNews] (Thanks, Shawn!)
Aviation inspector's action raises more questions at O'Hare [Chicago Tribune]

Check out the full set here (caption has a bad word).
Have you seen some Christmas Creep? Tell us about it at tips@consumerist.com.

... the show starts it’s run on November 7th! I’m still too high on Halloween candy on Nov 7th to start thinking about Xmas (Full disclosure: I’m Jewish, so I really couldn’t give a crap about Xmas anyway, but you get my point).

We get your point loud and clear, Scott.

Have you seen some Christmas Creep? Tell us about it at tips@consumerist.com.

If you're going to scan old photos at Walmart, you may want to brush up on copyright basics, since clearly Walmart isn't bothering to train its employees.

As a general rule of thumb, if the work was made before 1989 and doesn't have a copyright symbol on it, it's probably in the public domain. For works created after 1989, the symbol isn't required to enforce copyright. The "Is it Protected?" tool at librarycopyright.net is a simple way to determine the most likely state of a published work. We're not sure how much of that applies to photos (any lawyer-types want to weigh in?) but the U.S. Copyright Office seems to indicate that the photo would have to have a permanently-affixed or printed copyright notice on it if it was created before 1989.

Or, you could take the advice of some Boingboing readers, and either find yourself a scanner to use at home, or write your own copyright notice on the back of the photos before bringing them into the store. We wonder: is it breaking copyright law to put a fake copyright on a public domain photo for the sole purpose of asserting your right to make a copy of it? Discuss!

Update: As rubinow notes in the comments below, bring the proper form with you when you go to Walmart. This gives them the legal protection they want, and then they won't refuse to print your photos.

"Wal-Mart: you can't scan century-old photos of your ancestors because copyright lasts forever" [Boingboing]
(Photo: Getty)

The check-er-outer lady looked at it a while and said (without the slightest trace of irony),

“I don’t think cheese is a dairy product.”

Oh. Um. Well. Yes. Um. WHAT?

“No, they don’t consider cheese a dairy product.”

With that newly created fact, the cashier refused to apply a store coupon for dairy products to a package of cheddar slices. When the columnist for The Stranger asked her who "they" are, she replied, "Fred Meyer Corporation."

The columnist and his coupon-wielding friend saved the coupon for another day and purchased the cheese at full price, but we have a feeling a lot of our readers would not have let Fred Meyer off so easily.

"Cheese: The Totally Other Food Group. Apparently. Maybe From Space!" [The Stranger] (Thanks to everyone who sent this in!)
(Photo of tomato plant: Aine D)

An anonymous reader sent the photo in after they ordered a shipment of 50 CMOS batteries from Dell in an attempt to save time and money by asking for "fifty spare batteries instead of having them delivered individually." This is what they got, a big box with 50 smaller boxes inside.

Packing Done Right [Daily WTF] (Thanks, Everyone!)

Mike writes:

Try buying any good deal at Fry's that doesn't have a rebate. You can't. So I bought an EVGA video card in May 2008 with a $45 rebate. Having played the rebate game before, I know that filling in the form properly and reading the terms are key. The EVGA rebate form said "Limit ONE rebate per product, receipt, household, family or address." I soon found out that the most key term is none of the above.

After waiting over 10 weeks for my check (2 weeks after the 6-8 week suggested processing time), I attempted to contact http://www.evgarebates.com/ by phone. No combination of button-pressing in the automated phone system would get me to a live person. You would think that the most common issue of never having received your rebate would be an option, but it is not. After some research I learned that evgarebates is actually Rebateshq which is the Parago corporation. After calling Parago corporate in Coppell, Texas, I was contacted by Kent [redacted] who is a Major Account Analyst. I explained on the phone to Kent (yes a live person!) that I had not received my rebate and that I had copies of my rebate form and receipt. After some research he sent me this email:

Attached you will find copies of the check in which we discussed. Please review the information and let me know if you have any questions.

The only problem was that the check was in someone else's name at the same address. I checked my rebate form at noted that I had filled it out in MY name and no one else's. Another email to Kent and he asked me if I knew the name on the check, to which I replied that it was a relative of mine living at the same address.

A week went by and I heard nothing, so after pinging Kent I got an email:

Thanks for being so patience with me while researching this matter. However, looking into this matter further, it appears that there are several submissions in our system for the same address for both Bob and Mike Jones (names changed on purpose). Here is what has appeared to have happened, our system is set up to auto populate using the most recent data. It appears that at the time of data entry, Bob's name auto populated versus your name because of the address. Being that this has taken place, as you know Bob Jones deposited the check into account number: XXXXXXXXXX which has cleared our bank. So at this point we suggest that you check with Bob and discuss that matter of your rebate being deposited into his account. We apologize for the delay in regards to this matter, but had the check not been cashed, we could have updated the name and had the check reissued the rebate.

Should you have any questions please let me know.

At this point I was rather upset. They sent the rebate to the wrong person and now they expect me to go to that person and get their money back for them. What am I, a collection agency??

After doing some research, I realized that the only information on the rebate form that is actually entered into the system is the phone number. If you have filed a rebate previously for any of the MANY companies that Parago processes, it will pull up the name and address that is in their system. At that point, the data entry drone who most likely moonlights as the "officer" that verifies those red-light camera violations, decides if the information in their system matches your rebate form. One click and the operator saves the time of having to read in all of that information on the form and type it in. What a time saver! But on the off chance that two people have the same phone number (I guess Parago decided that most geeky Fry's shoppers really do live alone), your roommate will get your rebate. The rebate form should actually say "Limit ONE rebate per product, receipt, household, family or address or phone number."

After calming down, I finally sent out this email to Kent:

The facts are:
1. I filed the rebate properly in my name.
2. You incorrectly sent the rebate to someone else, through no fault of mine.
3. You have proof that someone else cashed the check.
4. You did not send ME the rebate.
5. I did not cash a rebate check from you.
6. You have not fulfilled the rebate to me.

At this point I would suggest to YOU that YOU get the rebate amout of $45 back from the person you sent it to.

Since I am only 20 minutes away from Coppell, I have no problem filing a case in small claims court locally stating the above 6 points and presenting the proof of the cancelled checks you have provided me. I have no problem presenting the email you have sent me suggesting that I go to a third party and try to get the money from them. The look on the judge's face will be entertaining.

That email did the trick and Mike got this response:

Thanks for sharing with me how you feel about this matter. However, please be advised that tracking number XXXXXXXX-$45.00 has been created for processing. You will receive the $45.00 rebate within 7-10 business days.

We apologize for the delay and inconvenience.

Either way, remember to keep track of each and every rebate!

You're not kidding, Mike. Personally, we don't bother with rebates because we know that we will never, ever, ever be sufficiently organized/willing to a) fill them out correctly b) remember that they exist and c) fight for them the way Mike did. (In other words, we're the target audience for rebates, which is exactly why we shouldn't bother with them.)

Some people, however, are rebate warriors. Kudos to you for making them pay up.

My in-laws lost their house to a fire in January. Rebuilding went down to the bricks in some places, and wall studs in others. Complete loss, complete rebuild.

When they tried to move their phone number to their temporary apartment abode during home reconstruction, Verizon wouldn’t do it. This was a Verizon land line they’d had for maybe 25 years or so int two different homes. The Verizon rep told them they only thing they could do was forward the old number to the new number.

OK, said my father-in-law, accepting that he’d have to pay for two phone lines for the duration. Forward that number.

We can’t do it, said the Verizon reps, only you can do it. Get this: they were told to call from their old phone to request the forwarding service. Yes, the phone in a house that burned down. Yes, calling on phones that had turned into lumps of melted plastic with metal bits sticking out.

Maybe it's time to write a "What To Say To People Whose House Burned Down" script?

Sadly, the story doesn't end there. The in-laws are now having trouble getting Verizon to hook up the phones in their rebuilt house.

Verizon Sucks [Technology is Broken via Networkworld] (Thanks, Charlie!)
(Photo: The Joy Of The Mundane )

He tried his best to escalate the complaint with Verizon, but had little luck. First, he called the help line:

"We called their help line, and got a wonderful young man in the Philippines who told us:

" 'We can't install it because your name has - in it.' "

I asked the doctor how I was going to print that. He said, "Just say it's a word contained in Libshitz."

He had no luck with a supervisor, so he called the billing disputes number and reached another supervisor who promised to investigate and have someone contact him because " the only person who could help was in Tampa, and that man would have to call India to get them to change the computer code." No one called back.

Finally, he got a letter informing him that he could not use his name as a username because it didn't comply with Verizon's policy.

It took calls from the Philadelphia Inquirer to get Verizon to deal with Dr. Libshitz and his "questionable" name, and that's what bothers him. He told the Inquirer that what he wants "is for these people at least to stand at attention to explain themselves. I don't know if you've ever tried to get to Verizon. . . . You cannot get to them. They are insulated from things like this." Unless you work for a newspaper, that is.

Here's Verizon's official response:

"As a general rule (since 2005) Verizon doesn't allow questionable language in e-mail addresses, but we can, and do, make exceptions based on reasonable requests. The one from Dr. and Mrs. Libshitz certainly is reasonable and we regret the inconvenience and frustration they've been caused."

Daniel Rubin: When your name gets turned against you [Philadelphia Inquirer] (Thanks, Will!)
(Photo: Maulleigh )

Meet Andy Fanelli. He's a Lhasa Apso who apparently doesn't have enough personal responsibility to pay his debt to Verizon. Sure, Andy's owners, Steve Fanell and Shawn Donovan, say that Andy has never been a Verizon customer, but should we believe them?

From KCRA:

"The point is that Andy has never had a Verizon account. We were just curious why this showed up," Steve Fanelli said.

KCRA says the debt actually belongs to another Andy Fanelli who lives on the east coast. So how did the bill end up at the wrong Andy's doorstep? Well, it's probably because Andy has his very own American Express Card.

"It's an active card. From time to time I take my girlfriends to lunch on Andy," Donovan said. The dog's debt has been canceled by Verizon, but it seems there are lots of complaints (to the Illinois Attorney General and posted online) about the debt collector, AFNI, trying to collect outdated or incorrect debts. AFNI says that it is diligent about debt verification.

$142 Collection Bill Sent To Couple's Dog [KCRA](Thanks, Anna!)

Activists Keep the Faith, if Not Their Money [Washington Post] (Thanks to ejangles!)

• Take the place of an airline boarding pass.
• Contain personal information about the traveler.
• Be able to monitor the whereabouts of each passenger and his/her luggage.
• Shock the wearer on command, completely immobilizing him/her for several minutes.

Lamperd Less Lethal—oddly, that name doesn't make us confident about either the effectiveness or the safety of their products—has an entertaining instructional video on their site that explains why this is such a great idea. It opens with footage of the planes hitting the WTC towers, just in case you've forgotten, then describes how all the current solutions are ineffective—biometrics can't spot "new" terrorists who aren't in the database, Air Marshalls can inflict friendly fire on nearby passengers, etc. But they've got an answer in the EMD Safety Bracelet! Check out these handy graphics if you don't believe them:

Okay, we doctored that last one, but you know there'd be a technical glitch at some point that turns everyone on the manifest into a herky-jerky bag of twitching muscles. Pretzels everywhere! Plastic drink cups flying! You have to admit, it'd be funny to see (so long as your own EMD Safety Bracelet didn't go off at the same time.)

Lamperd Less Lethal insists that this is a great idea, and that passengers won't mind being figuratively collared like slaves out of a bad sci-fi movie:

Wearing an EMD safety bracelet for a few hours during a flight is a small inconvenience to ensure their safe arrival...many if not most passengers would happily opt for the extra security of the EMD safety bracelet.

We'll admit, it would certainly make it easier for flight attendants to take care of drunks, fashion victims, unruly children, and the occasional masturbator. But if DHS wants to take security this far, why not just anesthetize passengers and load us up on gurneys, where we'll remain blissfully unconscious as we're shipped like freight across the globe? It would be more dignified than wearing a stun bracelet.

"Want some torture with your peanuts?" [Washington Times] (Thanks to Capt Janeway!)
EMD Safety Bracelet video [Lamperd Less Lethal]

Sigh. How are you supposed to "collect the codes found on Dunkin' cold beverages and then enter them online for a chance to win great prizes instantly!?" The bastards.

Our reader writes:

About three weeks ago now, I went to Adobe.com to buy a copy of Dreamweaver CS3 online, as I couldn't find one locally. As I have Adobe CS2 Premium, I qualified to buy the version that is the upgrade from GoLive to Dreamweaver. So I find this version on their store, add to cart, and buy it.

Problem #1 - While most other versions of Dreamweaver are available as downloads, this one, inexplicably, is not. I'm told it will be shipped in about a week. As I had a trial version of Dreamweaver CS3 installed already, I contacted their live chat system and asked if the serial number could be sent via email or something in advance, so I could get to work. No can do.

I wait - and a week later, the box arrives. I tried the serial number received on the trial version at first. Problem #2 - It cannot find my Adobe CS2 (to verify I qualify for upgrade) even though that had been installed in the standard, default directory. So it asks me to enter the Dreamweaver CS3 serial number, then pick what version I'm upgrading from, and enter the GoLive serial number.

Problem #3 - It tells me the serial number I'm putting in does not match the product I'm upgrading from. This in spite of the fact I copied and pasted it directly from Go Live's help menu, and also tried typing it in manually several times. (The only thing I can figure, in retrospect, is that since my choices were upgrading from GoLive 6.0, GoLive CS, or GoLive CS2, the fact that I have CS2 Premium was the issue). I tried uninstalling the trial and installing fresh from the CD, but got the same issue.

I surf over to Adobe's customer support portal, which promises an answer in one business day. I have to register first, of course (grr), but I submit a ticket with all the appropriate information first thing on a Thursday morning.

The following *Tuesday* (six calendar days, four business days later), I get this gem (emphasis added):

Hello ________,

Thank you for contacting Adobe Customer Service.

Due to the Support Portal being closed on weekends [?!], we were unable to
respond to your e-mail. We sincerely regret any inconvenience this may
have caused and appreciate your patience.

________, I understand that you purchased the upgrade version of
Dreamweaver CS3 (serial number). As you already had the
trial version of CS3 installed, you took the serial number from the box
that arrived and put it in. It accepted that, but then asked you to
verify that you was eligible to upgrade. You went to your copy of GoLive
CS2, and copied the Serial Number directly out of Help>System Info and
pasted that in to the CS3 dialogue, but it is telling you that the
GoLive CS2 number does not match what you have selected. You tried
selecting Go Live 6.0, GoLive CS and GoLive CS2 and it does not allow
you to proceed under any circumstances.

I understand your concern with this issue and apologize for the
inconvenience caused.

It would have been a pleasure to assist you with this issue. In this
regard, I would request you to contact Adobe Customer Service phone
support at 1 (800) 833-6687 from 6:00am to 8:00pm, PT, 7 days a week.
This is not an issue that can be resolved through this portal and they
are best equipped to handle such issues. They will provide you step by
step assistance through this issue..."

Problem #4: It's taken their customer service portal nearly a week to tell me ... they can't provide any customer service.

I grit my teeth and call the 1800 number. I called at 11:45 EST, and after the first five minutes, put the phone on hands free, so I could at least work while I listen to the dreadful hold music. I waited.

And waited.

And waited.

And waited.

And at precisely 1:07 EST... I was ... disconnected.

As I've had this happen after lengthy hold times with other companies, I suspect this some sort of slate-clearing standard procedure.

I write into the portal, politely, but firmly, to complain about this, and request that one of their reps call ME instead. I suggested that since I'd been waiting a week's shipping time, six days "customer service portal" time, and an hour and 20 minutes hold time to get what should have been a straightforward purchase, that they had a deadline of the following Monday to get it sorted.

I get:

"Hello _______,

Thank you for contacting Adobe Customer Service.

_______, thank you for your reply.

I understand your concern with this issue and apologize for the
inconvenience caused.

It would have been a pleasure to assist you with this issue. In this
regard, I would request you to contact Adobe Customer Service phone
support at 1 (800) 833-6687 from 6:00am to 8:00pm, PT, 7 days a week.
This is not an issue that can be resolved through this portal and they
are best equipped to handle such issues. They will provide you step by
step assistance through this issue..."

So here I am. Please warn your readers (again) to stay away from Adobe; meanwhile, I'm off to issue a chargeback request to my credit card company, and to shop for something else.

We've written about Adobe not being able to actually sell its software before. Twice. These stories are only a fraction of the complaints we get about Adobe. Adobe, if you wonder why your software is so popular on bittorrent, here's one reason: Even the people who want to buy it can't get it from you. Here are some email addresses for Adobe's executives, hopefully they can help: rburgess@adobe.com, cboesenberg@adobe.com, selop@adobe.com, igiffen@adobe.com, sgomo@adobe.com, harris@adobe.com, dlucas@adobe.com, bnelson@adobe.com, snakama@adobe.com, efoley@adobe.com, ushike@adobe.com, mrozen@adobe.com, sofferma@adobe.com.

(Photo: Getty)

"If it had not been for the sprinklers, this building would have probably burnt to the ground," said Jennifer Mieth, a spokeswoman for state Fire Marshal Stephen D. Coan.

[...]

The jugs were covered by cloth rags and stacked in a hallway closet that housed the air conditioning system, Chief Arruda said.

[...]

The husband jumped from the second-floor balcony to escape the fire and sprained his ankle, he said. Everyone else escaped the building without injury.

The Fire Marshal's Office determined that the fire was accidental, resulting from a heat source — likely the natural gas water heater or a propane-powered cooking appliance — igniting vapors from the stored gas, Ms. Mieth said.

The couple, who have yet to be named, can expect a letter from the folks behind the Darwin Awards reading, "We like your style, but try harder next time."

Gas hoarding eyed as cause of Dartmouth apartment fire [The Standard-Times]
(Photo: Getty)

Skipping past the fact that gift cards are a terrible investment and that you could easily take your $50 straight to Target, why would anyone bid more than face value on gift card?!

Steven Levitt is baffled:

This seems to defy all logic. The item description is: “Just a $50 gift card to Target … .”

We need to find lpinok and sit him down with Ben Bernanke. Maybe, hopefully, hours of conversation will unearth the mangled thought process behind baffling phenomena like the subprime meltdown.

Until someone offers an explanation, we have no choice but to believe that lpinok represents everything that is wrong with personal finance in America.

How Much Would You Pay for a $50 Target Gift Card? [Freakonomics]

Josh writes:

Just a few days ago, I took my bill to the Verizon wireless store in my hometown of Millington, TN. I had just cashed my paycheck and my bill was due, so I decided to pay it.
My bill looks somewhat like this:

Monthly Access Charges:	$55.31
Usage Charges
Voice
Data:	$3.39
Verizon Wireless' Surcharges's and Other Charges & Credits	$1.80
Taxes, Government Surcharges & Fees	$5.44
Total Current Charges	$66.54

So, I assumed that I would need to pay $66.54, as stated on my bill. I entered the store and waited nicely for about 15 minutes while the salesman discussed the merits of a newer bluetooth headset with a gentleman.

When I made it to the counter, I explained that I was just here to pay my bill. He brought up my information, told me how much my bill was, and I began to count out four twenties from my wallet. Before I handed the money over, he explained that there is a $3.99 charge for using cash. I held onto the money and pointed out that my bill was for $66.54. I also pointed out that I was paying in CASH and it is legal tender that Verizon is obligated to honor. The young man explained to me that the store had new money software. The fee to use cash was to pay for that software.

If I had exact change, I would have given only the amount to cover the bill, but I only had twenties at the time. So I left with an unpaid bill. I absolutely refuse to be nickeled and dimed like that.

So how do I pay Verizon in legal tender without paying for the privilege?

New money software? For what, the cash register?

Our guess is that a misguided Tennessee youth was trying to pocket $4. Verizon always places high in our personal bracket for Worst Company in America, but charging for the privilege of accepting cash is cartoonishly evil, and slightly beyond Verizon's capable and experienced reach.

(Photo: cut paste)

Haven writes (to Bloomingdale's):

May 27, 2008

Bloomingdale's
Customer Service
P.O. Box 8215
Mason, OH 45040

Dear Bloomingdale's Customer Service Department,

I have been a Bloomingdale's card holder for about two years. In my time as a cardholder, I have spent close to $2000.00 at your store. Recently, I paid a bill online and because I didn't have the bill in front of me, paid what I thought was due that month. To my error I had underpaid the minimum amount by $5.00. Two days ago, I received a notice from Bloomingdale's (the first and, apparently, last notice I was to receive) saying I would be sent to collections for failing to pay this $5.00 – I thought this was odd as I had used my Bloomingdale's card in the store about a week and a half prior. If my account had been in bad standing I would assume Bloomingdale's would put it on hold and not allow me to complete my purchase. At the very least I expected to receive timely notice of the pending sale of my account to a collection agency, so that I could have a chance to fix the problem. Although I did receive "notice" from Bloomingdale's, it appears this served only to let me know that I could expect to deal with a collection agency, and have no chance to rectify the situation with Bloomingdale's. Yesterday (on a Sunday over Memorial Day Weekend of all times!) I had the pleasure of getting four calls from your collection agency MCCS. How a customer who has spent a considerable amount in your store could be treated in this manner over a sum of $5.00 is appalling. I was not aware that I owed $5.00, and if Bloomingdale's had taken the time to notify me of this small error I would have happily paid it.

To think that Bloomingdale's is spending time notifying collections and using MCCS manpower for multiple hours over such a small amount of money is completely illogical. The cost to do this I'm sure is well over $5.00 and totally inefficient. To bully me by potentially negatively impacting my credit standing over something so small is a bad business practice and completely ridiculous. You have lost a customer who until now was a supporter of your store and I will be mentioning this to other customers of your Company's bullying tactics.

Sincerely,
H.

Ugh. It's completely unreasonable of Bloomingdale's to send your account to collections without giving you proper notice and a chance to fix the error. And into the open arms of Nordstrom you go...

MCSS is actually the collection wing of Macy's. Still, calling themselves MCSS rather than Bloomingdale's makes them sound like a scary collection agency, so it's understandable why there was that confusion, a confusion that Bloomie's/MCSS capitalizes on to get people to pay up. We don't know about you, but in all the times we've ever been behind on a bill, we would just get another bill. It would be months before we start getting calls from places with acronym names. Even if H is overacting, Bloomie's response to the $5 under-payment seems overblown.

(Photo: nfarley )

My mother in law, recently went to Target to get a battery installed for her watch. The watch was a common Timex model and the associate told her that she would have to buy the battery first. So she purchased that battery, and the associate attempted to install it in the watch. The battery did not fit the watch, so the associate said "sorry, we don't have the right battery" and then refused to take the battery back and refund her money. She was told they don't take back opened battery packages.

Was she taken advantage of as she is 80 years old, or is this store policy? This occurred at the Target Superstore in Miramar, Florida two weeks ago.

We asked David if he tried following up with Target on his mother-in-law's behalf.

Yes, I called and spoke to store an asst mgr, who stated that store policy is no returns on opened/used batteries. I said she never left the store, had remained at the counter, and it was your person that opened the package to remove the battery to install in her watch. I said I DONT FIND THIS ACCEPTABLE....................is this the way you treat the elderly who came to your store for assistance, and then has to buy something she cant use !!!!

After pushing the issue, she said its "its only a small amount, I probably would have taken the battery back if I was aware of this" and, "come back to the store and we will discuss this further"

So, it will cost me more in gas $$$ than the battery is worth to drive back to that store and meet with her to get a refund.

From this, I must assume it is Target policy to screw the watch battery customer...........

I know its a small $$$ amount, but for the elderly, on social security, every penny matters.

Little things like watch batteries may not cost much stores much, but blind adherence to obstinately obtuse policies can cost stores customers. The Assistant Manager at least had the common sense to realize that this is a problem with an easy solution.

Of course, the easiest solution is to treat Target as a low-end big box store, and not a repair shop. Our local jeweler resurrects dead watches for $5, which may be a bit steep compared to Target, but he's never cited 'store policy,' and he always gets our watches ticking again.

(Photo: Getty)

Here's Varun's letter:

Today, I discovered I couldn't connect to Xbox Live. After calling "Shanya" at Xbox Live (could not understand her, despite trying very hard), I was told that the Xbox Live service was down. How odd - everybody else, including my flatmate, on the same console is able to connect.

So I called back and "Ryan" answered. Ryan spent 35 minutes diagnosing my issue, making me connect, disconnect, reconnect and otherwise delete, undelete and trash my account. All the while, I explained to him that it clearly was NOT an issue with the connection, and not an issue on my end. After struggling to read his script, he finally took pity on me and followed my instructions to see whether there was anything wrong with my account. Sure enough, there was.

The system had tagged my Gamertag as offensive. What was my Gamertag? First name + last name.

What?!

That's right - my first name + last name is an offensive combination to the people who run Xbox Live. I asked Ryan what to do and he suggested changing the name order around.

So I've been forced to change my Gamertag - which means all the time that I've been using Xbox Live (about 30 months), my name has been offensive and apparently in violation of their terms, but they didn't bother to check or notify me or... well, do anything, really, except disconnect me today. I note that they updated the terms in 2005, twice in 2006, once in 2007 and somehow, I was in compliance with those terms all this time. Yet despite no change in the terms since June 2007, I am now in violation of those same terms. Explaining all this to the supervisor, "Lawrence", on the phone resulted in long, unintelligible mumbles (it was as if he arbitrarily picked words and letters out of the dictionary, strung them together, and then ran the whole gibberish through a randomizer), I was told that it was for my own security and protection they had decided that my name was offensive. Oh and the name that I had spent a while building an identity around? Yeah, there's no compensation for that. Nor did my preferences transfer over. In fact, I'm completely SOL...

Oh, for pete's sake, Microsoft.

Mozilo, whose inbox has been flooded with EECBs (executive email carpet bombs) from borrowers, apparently meant to hit forward, but instead replied to Daniel Bailey, a homeowner who is trying to stay in his home of 16 years. Bailey signed an adjustable rate mortgage and was told at the time that he could refinance after one year, before the payments became unaffordable.

From the LA Times:

Much of the language in Bailey's message to Countrywide was borrowed from a form letter available at the website LoanSafe.org, a coaching service for troubled borrowers. Bailey, who says he operates a photo studio, posted his e-mailed exchange with the lender on a LoanSafe forum.

His original e-mail was sent to 20 Countrywide addresses, including Mozilo's. Such mass e-mails have overwhelmed e-mail boxes at Countrywide, disrupting its operations and prompting Mozilo's heated response, the company said.

"This is unbelievable," Mozilo said in his e-mail. "Most of these letters now have the same wording. Obviously they are being counseled by some other person or by the Internet. Disgusting."

Countrywide has issued a statement about the email:

"Countrywide and Mr. Mozilo regret any misunderstanding caused by his inadvertent response to an e-mail by Mr. Bailey. Countrywide is actively working to help borrowers, like Mr. Bailey, keep their homes."

Countrywide Financial Chairman Angelo Mozilo's e-mail sets off a furor [LA Times] (Thanks, Kevin!)
(AP Photos/Susan Walsh)

Gateway is advertising "free shipping," but you have to pay a $20 "handling charge." At least they're upfront that the free shipping isn't really free, but how can they get away with calling it free when it still costs $20?

Well, Holland, we guess they were just hoping that their potential customers weren't too bright. Ya know?

Gateway

Dear Adobe,

I am writing to you today because the normal customer service channels have failed me, and I believe that this issue is a systemic problem in your ordering system, and perhaps may be the reason why recent reports state that 60% of Adobe products are pirated...because Adobe cannot ship products to paying customers!

On April 14, 2008, I ordered 3 copies of Adobe CS3, (2 copies of Design Premium Upgrade and 1 copy of Production Premium, Full Installation, as well as 2 manuals), using the Adobe Online store. At the time I placed the order, I was advised that the order should arrive around April 21, 2008. April 21 came and went with still no software, so I submitted a question to the online Customer Service Portal. Unfortunately the folks there were of no help as the only thing they could tell me was that I had not received my order because it had not yet been shipped (duh!). They were unable to tell me why my order had not shipped, or when it might ship, only that it had not shipped.

I next tried your customer service phone number, and while each of the representatives was able to see my order, they were unable to determine why the order had not been shipped. Several suggested that I cancel the current order and try again in the hopes that it would fix the problem, although no one could identify what the problem actually was, so in theory resubmitting an order would land me in the same spot, waiting for two more weeks with no software.

Last night I spoke with a customer service representative named Jason who said that I was responsible for the problem because I ordered from the Adobe Online store, and that those orders are not tracked by a sales person. I don't need the order to be tracked, I just want the software that I ordered to be sent to me. If your online system doesn't work, why do you have it? He said that he would call me back this morning after he did some more digging into the problem, but it is now after 4 pm, and I have not yet received a return phone call. (Incidentally I just called again to give your folks one more chance, but still, they could give me no assurances that I was any closer to getting my software than I was 2 weeks ago.)

The reason for writing this letter is simple, I would like you to ship my order to me immediately and as there have been issues on Adobe's end that have delayed receipt of the software for almost a week and a half. In addition, I would kindly request that you send the order to me overnight at no additional charge. In exchange, feel free to charge my credit card the $2679.95 that you are due. Should you have any questions, or need any further information, please feel free to contact me via E-mail or at the number below.

Amy

(photo:Jenna Belle)

The resulting news story has what may be the greatest sentence ever written:

The personal check was not made out to Mr. Fuller and when the bank contacted the check owner, the woman said she did not write a check for $360 billion.

Really? She didn't? You'll be shocked to hear that Mr. Fuller was also charged with unlawful carrying of a weapon and possession of marijuana. When asked why he was tying to cash a check for such a large amount, Fuller told police that the check "was given to him by his girlfriend’s mother to start a record business." No word on whether Mr. Fuller and his girlfriend are still dating.

Man accused of trying to cash check for $360,000,000,000 [Dallas Morning News]

Hi there - I'm really hoping you and your readers can help me with my problem. I had two procedures done in December 2005 (laprascopy and a hysteroscopy). Prior to the procedure I called United Healthcare (my provider) and asked them if the amount the doctor was charging was considered reasonable. I didn't want to have these procedures done by this particular doctor if insurance would not cover the cost (I had another ready to perform the procedure who was in-network). After being reassured by United Healthcare that the cost would be covered I decided to go with the out of network provider. A few weeks later I received almost the full amount for the procedure - they covered about 90%.

This week I received a letter from United Healthcare telling me that they made an administrative error and that they wanted me to send them a check or money order for 7700 dollars! This is almost three years later!!

I'm shocked and plan to appeal. Can they do this? I mean, it is almost three years later!?!?

I know UnitedHealthcare is really horrible when it comes to claims/billing but this is insane.

Thanks for any help you can provide.

Suzanne

When Jeff got back in September, he tried writing the CEO. That didn't work either. It took help from the local media to encourage Sprint to give Jeff his money back.

From King 5:

Sprint wouldn't talk to KING 5 specifically about his case, but they did act fast.

"I got a call from someone from Sprint apologizing, saying it must have gotten lost in the shuffle and we're really sorry about the inconvenience and there will be a check in the mail overnight to you," Cannizzaro said.

Cannizzaro said Sprint owed him $48. In the end, Sprint sent him a check for $100.

"I'm very glad KING 5 is willing to help me out in this situation," he said.

Fort Lewis soldier battles cell phone company over bill [King5] (Thanks, Landon!)

She writes:

As a long time fan of Target, I am absolutely disappointed about their new "return" policy. I couldn't wait for the day to get married, and with regards to this letter, couldn't wait to open a Target wedding registry of my own! Only to find out Target has become completely untrusting of their customers and treat us as if we're thieves! We sent our wedding guests almost exclusively to our Target registry, which malfunctioned, and now we have duplicate sets of gifts that we cannot return.

When we attempted to return them, and showed how the gift registry malfunctioned, they insisted that it was our guests' responsibility to attach a gift receipt & accepted no fault. Of course, since our guests were purchasing from a wedding registry they trusted, none of the guests attached a receipt. Not to mention it looks pretty tacky to tape on a receipt to an expensive, nicely wrapped gift. So the manager suggested we go back to our guests and ask for a receipt so that we can return their gift. We felt that would be very rude to do to our guests, and just do not feel comfortable disappointing people like that, especially after they spent so much money on a gift they thought we would love. The manager also told us "that's the point of a registry, to get what you want" - Of course! But that doesn't mean we need two croquet sets, two coffee makers or two wine racks! We felt we were being very reasonable, we didn't even want cash back; we would gladly accept store credit.

To top things off, I received a wok in the mail that became damaged during shipment. It came wrapped in target paper, included target shipping paperwork, and all we wanted was to exchange it for a non-damaged wok or receive store credit. They still proceeded to tell us that we needed a gift receipt, and refused to return it for us until we talked to upper management. The whole process took over 30 minutes!

We have received over $1000 in gifts from our Target registry, and if we would have known about this absurd return policy, we would have stayed with Bed Bath & Beyond and Macy's, both of which have no problem with satisfying their registry customers. I do wedding photography for a living and talk with brides on a daily basis, I'm warning everyone to stay clear of Target's wedding registry. I hope Target realizes quick what they are doing to some of their biggest fans.

Target, it's a sad day for you when people feel more welcome at Walmart than your store.

Ex-Customer of Vero Beach Target,
Chrissy

From the press release:

Today, SKYY® Vodka, the number-one vodka produced in the United States, spoke out against suggestions by Absolut® Vodka to disregard [the Treaty of Guadalupe Hidalgo,] as well as the joining of Texas to the Union in 1845, as depicted in Absolut's recent advertising.

"Like SKYY Vodka, the residents of states like California, Texas and Arizona are exceptionally proud of the fact that they are from the United States of America," said Dave Karraker, SKYY Vodka. "To imply that they might be interested in changing their mailing addresses, as our competitor seems to be suggesting in their advertising, is a bit presumptuous."

We're not going to link to Skyy's full press release and further promote their PR drivel. We already feel plenty dirty having stood in the center of their messy PR circle jerk.

(Photo: just_a_name_thingie)
PREVIOUSLY: Is This Absolut Ad Cheeky Or Distasteful?
Absolut Pulls Controversial Advertisement

Have you ever accidentally forgot to pay for some heavy item that you stowed under you shopping cart? We have, too! Unlike one Cleveland man, however, we did not go to jail for it.

From WLKY:

Tom Sturgis has a long receipt showing the $157.20 worth of two grocery carts full of groceries that he bought at a Brooklyn supermarket Saturday night. After going through the self checkout, Sturgis said he forgot a $4 case of pop under the cart.

A police officer working security at the store asked to see his receipt.

"I went looking for the receipt, the pop wasn't on it and they decided to have me arrested," he said.

Sturgis was arrested on a petty theft charge.

Sturgis, who said he has never had so much as a parking ticket, found himself being led out of the store in handcuffs. He spent 11:30 p.m. until 3 a.m. in jail that night.

At home, his wife said she couldn't believe what was happening.

"It's over a case of pop," said Wendy Sturgis. "He turned around and offered to go back in and pay for it and the cop told him it's like robbing a bank, you just can't get caught robbing a bank and say, 'I'm sorry, I'll give you your money back.'"

We humbly suggest that this police officer is not very good at his job.

He let loose an EECB (Executive Email Carpet Bomb) and CC'd us so we could listen in:

I'm writing an email because I'm extremely frustrated by your companies phone support at this moment. I called in to 1877GETZUNE to cancel my Zune Pass Subscription because I wasn't using it enough. A lady with an indian accent came on and got my information and then placed me on hold for approximately 6-10 minutes and then warm transferred me to a gentleman who then confirmed I wanted to cancel my zune account.

Here is where the trouble begins. I get off the phone and login on my XBox 360 in and effort to purchase points to pay for the soon to be released COD4 map pack. After inputting my credit card info I get a message that states it is unable to validate my CC info. I called into 18004MYXBOX at 12:53PM on 4/3/08 trying to get them to remove the old credit cards on my account and add the new one. She starts working on that and when she pulls up my account she says this is showing as a Silver account. Well knowing I had just paid for a year of XBox Gold I informed her that was incorrect. She says it was moved to Silver today and I said no I called to cancel my Zune Account today. She then has me delete the account off of my Xbox and restore it which does nothing, she then tells me to just try it again later. I ask to speak to a supervisor at that point and after another 5-10 minute wait I get Patrick who tells me basically I have to wait 7-