Kraft Invents The Twinkie Of Bagels: “Bagelfuls” (47 comments), Hey Gamblers, Time To Bring A Sack Lunch, The Freebies Are Dying Up. (45) and Student Loan Credit Crunch Coming? (43).

Suburban Chicago Hospital Will Close After Being Crushed By Too Many Uninsured Patients (100 comments), Delta Announces Massive Fee Increases For Unaccompanied Minors, Pets (80) and Lazy Cinnabon Guy Lies, You Get Free Churros (57).

Comcast Tech Abuses Power To Rack Vegeneance On Xbox Hackers (113 comments), Radio Shack Won’t Accept Cash Without Your Home Address (73) and Wal-Mart’s Katrina Heroism: “Above All, Do The Right Thing,” CEO Told Managers Before Katrina Struck (68).

Dairy Queen Sells Man Four Delicious Burgers (87 comments), Introducing The Conglomerist (82) and Best Buy Provides Excellent Customer Service! (58).

Creative Sparks Customer Revolt When It Tries To Silence Third-Party Programmer (101 comments), Comcast Degrades HD Quality To Make Room For More Channels (70) and XM-Sirius Merger Will Double Monthly Prices? (63).

H&R Block Doesn’t “Support” Gay Civil Unions (100 comments), Driving Over 60MPH Wastes Gas (99) and No Starbucks Allowed: Indie Coffee Shop Says It Will Stop Using Its Fancy Clover Coffee Makers (85).

McDonald’s Worker Screams And Runs Away From Little People, Probably Shouldn’t Be Assigned To Register (118 comments), CVS Underfills Your Prescription, Treats You Like A Junkie (95) and Jim Cramer Told Viewers “Don’t Move Your Money From Bear! That’s Just Being Silly!” (88).

Teen Being Murdered By UnitedHealth Spreadsheet (99 comments), Walmart Calls You An Idiot, Tells You To Shut Up And Never Come Back (75) and Walmart Successfully Sues Brain-Damaged Worker For $469,216 (64).

BMW Dealer Refuses To Honor eBay Sale (93 comments), Round 9: Target Vs Best Buy (75) and Most Americans Say They Will Not Spend Their Stimulus Checks (68).

Mugger Used Our Credit Card, Now CapitalOne Sued Us Without Us Knowing For $1200 And Won (115 comments), Comcast Wants To Use Cameras And Facial Recognition To Serve Ads In Your Living Room (83) and Round 7: DeBeers vs 1-800 Flowers (83).

The 10 Lies A Door-to-Door Alarm Salesman Tells (142 comments), Just Because There’s A Housing Slump Doesn’t Mean There Are Any “Motivated Sellers” (124) and Online Convenience Fee Is 63% Of Utility Bill (115).

LEAKS: Best Buy’s Internal Customer Profiling Document (177 comments), Home Depot Employee Fired For Chasing Shoplifter Sues For $1.5 Million (93) and Ex-Sub-Prime Borrowers Live In Tent Cities On LA Outskirts (80).

Store Owner Demands Spanish-Speaking Customers Show Social Security Cards (283 comments), All The Dashboard Lights Flash Whenever I Drive My Dodge Charger In The Rain (74) and Dell Won’t Stop Sending Me Catalogs So I’m Burning Them (68).

Retail Gas Prices Hit Record, $4 A Gallon Coming (113 comments), Announcing The Worst Company In America 2008 Contestants (91) and Apple Still Won’t Sell You A Computer Because You’ve Got Too Many Gift Cards (72).

AT&T Won’t Sell You iPhone Because “You’re Going To Unlock It” (148 comments), Uhaul Dealer’s Tips For Happier Renting (53) and Don’t File Taxes? You Gotta To Get A Stimulus Check (32).

JC Penney: Excuse Me Sir, “The Big & Tall Section Is Over There…” (138 comments), Complaint Remover Gets Rid Of “Negative Links,” Including LOLCats (111) and Should We Bribe Kids And Teachers For Good Grades? (103).

Staples Rebuts “Charge Senior Citizen $390 For Basic Computer Repair” Post (175 comments), Costco Is On Fire, Profit Up 31% (87) and Tales Of Consumers Making Outrageous Requests (82).

Walmart Stops You And The Assistant Manager For Refusing To Show Receipt (345 comments), Crest Pro-Health Mouthwash: “I Woke Up With Brown Spots On My Teeth” (100) and Fed Chairman Asks Banks To Forgive Mortgage Debt (92).