TSA: Please Leave Your Ammo-Filled Bibles And Hot Sauce Grenades At Home

TSA: Please Leave Your Ammo-Filled Bibles And Hot Sauce Grenades At Home

There are a lot of things you aren’t allowed to bring into the cabin of a plane: throwing stars, shoe knives, and toy guns belonging to sock monkeys. While a hollowed-out Bible might be a great hiding place for your bullets at home, the Transportation Safety Administration would like the public to know that you’ll need a different container when you travel by air. [More]

(mindclouder)

Traveler Arrested At Airport Because Breast Implants Should Not Be Packed With Cocaine

Though there are plenty of horror stories out there about people getting crazy or dangerous substances implanted by way of dubious medical procedures, stuffing breast implants with cocaine brings things to a whole new level of nuttery. And as it turns out, it’s not a good way to smuggle drugs, as one traveler recently found out. [More]

Yes, Narwhals Really Do Exist And Yes, You Will Get In Trouble For Smuggling Their Tusks

Yes, Narwhals Really Do Exist And Yes, You Will Get In Trouble For Smuggling Their Tusks

Are you an Inuit? No? Then you shouldn’t be selling narwhal tusks. And oh yes, despite what you might think when you picture a giant sea creature with a horn like a unicorn, the narwhal is very real (even if spellcheck says otherwise) and you will be very busted for smuggling their ivory tusks. [More]

Cleaners Find Load Of Gold Bars In Airplane Toilet Worth $1.8M

Cleaners Find Load Of Gold Bars In Airplane Toilet Worth $1.8M

When you’re responsible for cleaning airplane lavatories, we imagine there aren’t a lot of perks to scrubbing out toilets used by hundreds of passengers. So we can only hope that the cleaners who discovered 280 gold bars in a plane toilet get to keep a couple, just to even out the balance in the universe. [More]

(j / f / photos)

A Hamburger Is Not An Appropriate Place To Stash Your Turtle For Air Travel

Who doesn’t miss their pets while on vacation? If you can take them along to a critter-friendly locale, that’s excellent. If you can’t, it’s better to find a sitter. And if you’re trying to smuggle your pet turtle onto a plane inside a hamburger, it’s time to rethink your entire life. [More]

Men Claim Those Are Not Slender Lorises In Their Pants, They're Just Happy To See Airport Security

Men Claim Those Are Not Slender Lorises In Their Pants, They're Just Happy To See Airport Security

It must be tricky to be a loris. On one hand, you’re an impossibly cute primate. On the other, people might want to put you down their pants to smuggle you through the airport. Three men were arrested at Indira Ghandi International Airport in Delhi, India for trying to sneak slender lorises from Bangkok to Dubai. Two of the men had the little guys concealed in pouches in their underwear. [More]

Turns Out Hiding $250K Worth Of Meth Inside Snickers Bar Wrappers Won’t Fool Authorities

Turns Out Hiding $250K Worth Of Meth Inside Snickers Bar Wrappers Won’t Fool Authorities

Like the wolf in sheep’s clothing or Tony Curtis in Some Like It Hot, putting a different wrapper on something and fooling everyone only works in fictional situations or when trying to trick actual sheep/Marilyn Monroe. U.S. customs agents are trained to catch people trying to hide stuff, which is why coating lumps of methamphetamine in chocolate and dressing them in Snickers wrappers didn’t work out too well for one man accused of trying to smuggle $250,000 worth of the drugs into Japan. [More]

(KOMO)

Unwitting Smugglers Had No Idea Delightful Chocolate Eggs With Toy Surprises Inside Are Illegal

We can picture the scene perfectly: Two guys on the way home from a trip to lovely Vancouver approaching the U.S./Canadian border. Suddenly, there’s a current of fear when guards search the car and inform them they’re smugglers. Each man pictures the other cackling evilly while shoving drugs or laundered money into a secret compartment in the car. But wait! It’s just illegal candy with a toy inside. Whew. [More]

No Sir, Those Aren't My 79 Adorable Turtles Covered In Pantyhose Hiding In This Package At The Airport

What! How did those 79 turtles get into that package? No way, I didn’t cover them in pantyhose and try to smuggle them into China, Mr. Airport Worker — they must’ve crawled in there on their own. That’s the pretend defense we’re imagining after authorities at the Shanghai airport discovered a box full of illegal live turtles. [More]

LAX Is A Hotbed For Animal Smuggling

LAX Is A Hotbed For Animal Smuggling

Apparently due to wealthy Hollywood types’ yearning for exotic pets, Los Angeles International Airport — its friends call it LAX — has long been known as animal smuggling central. In the most recent high-profile incident, Japanese passengers were busted for sneaking 55 live tortoises and turtles in luggage. [More]

Smuggled Phones Help Cons Play FarmVille From Behind Bars

Smuggled Phones Help Cons Play FarmVille From Behind Bars

Just because you’re locked up, you shouldn’t have to miss out on texting buddies, logging status updates and playing FarmVille. Thanks to smuggling channels and intense demand, cell phones have become as much a part of the prison experience as lunchtime brawls and toothbrush shanks. [More]

Let This Comic Strip Show You How To Save Money At The Movies

Let This Comic Strip Show You How To Save Money At The Movies

Scott Meyer frequently makes brilliant observations in his “Basic Instructions” comic, and by brilliant I mean nutjob. In the most recent one, “How to Save Money,” the comic version of Meyer realizes how expensive movie concessions are. Considering how many people commented on this the last time I posted about it, I thought you might find his ideas useful. Now I’m off to buy a stovepipe hat! [More]

US Airways Employee Helps Roommate Smuggle Gun Aboard To Avoid Checking It

US Airways Employee Helps Roommate Smuggle Gun Aboard To Avoid Checking It

The AP is reporting that the employee charged with smuggling a unloaded handgun and ammunition aboard a US Airways flight was trying to help his roommate avoid checking it.

Movie Theater Pays $10,000 Damages In Snack Search Lawsuit

Movie Theater Pays $10,000 Damages In Snack Search Lawsuit

What ruins your movie-going experience more than being searched for surreptitious snacks? Having your mom discover that you’re taking birth control pills when movie theater employees go through your purse.

Knockoff Products Smuggled Into The U.S. Labeled "Refrigerated Noodles"

Knockoff Products Smuggled Into The U.S. Labeled "Refrigerated Noodles"

Federal agents have announced that they’ve busted a smuggling ring that brought hundreds of millions of dollars worth of knockoff products into the US, says the NYT.