I used to have a recurring nightmare where a person dressed in a giant dog suit was pursuing me down the aisles of the convenience store near where my grandmother lived, and let me tell you, it was horrifying. So the thought of a Halloween character at a theme park chasing a girl through Six Flags Great America? Well, I can understand how that might be upsetting. It’s scary enough that the girl’s father is now suing the theme park. [More]
Dad Claims Six Flags Halloween Character Went Too Far By Bursting From Portable Toilet & Chasing Daughter
By September 12, 2012
Six Flags Superman Roller Coaster Apparently Cursed By Kryptonite, Gets Stuck Yet Again
By August 6, 2012
After shutting down and stranding passengers for about two hours, it took almost week for Six Flags Discovery Kingdom in Vallejo, Calif. to tinker around with its Superman Ultimate Flight roller coaster and get it back in operation. There must not have been enough tinkering going on, however, as the ride stalled again shortly after reopening yesterday. [More]
Six Flags Saves Dog Left In Car, Then Loses Dog
By September 14, 2011
If you visit California’s Six Flags Magic Mountain while vacationing with your dog, it’s probably not a good idea to bring your dog with you. Dogs aren’t fans of roller coasters… well, that, and and non-service animals aren’t allowed inside the park. For this reason, Six Flags provides a free kennel for the pets of guests. One recent visitor to the park was upset after her service dog escaped from the kennel. After all, she had never put the dog there in the first place. She had left her in the car. [More]
Six Flags Baboon Captured After Three-Day Walkabout
By July 4, 2011
A baboon that ran away from a monkey safari exhibit in Six Flags Great Adventure in Jackson Township, N.J. was caught on a nearby farm Saturday after cruising the area for three days. He was sent back to the park to receive a medical exam and rejoin about 150 fellow baboons. [More]
The Post-Apocalyptic Clownscape That Was Six Flags New Orleans
By July 1, 2011
How long after civilization collapses will it take for our infrastructure to crumble into a rusting, weed-choked hellscape? With the help of some flooding, just a few years, if the current state of Six Flags New Orleans is any indication. Pump systems failed after Hurricane Katrina, leaving the site in up to seven feet of brackish water for about a month, corroding the rides and wrecking everything else. The park site is now property of the city of New Orleans after Six Flags declared it a total loss, collecting insurance and moving a few salvageable rides to other parks. The front gate is open, and the city already has enough problems and can’t pay for 24-hour security. That means local teens and roving urban explorers have found their way in to show us all the carnage. [More]
Which TV Ad Spokesperson Needs To Be Retired Next?
By May 25, 2010
With the recent announcement that Apple has taken mercy on all TV watchers and finally put a bullet in the head of the “I’m a Mac” ad campaign, along with with McDonald’s’ decision to keep longtime front man Ronald McDonald, in spite of a push to have him put out to pasture, we want to know from you which TV ad character/spokesthing you think should be next in line for retirement. [More]
Six Flags Over Bankruptcy Court
By June 15, 2009
Those home ticket-printing fees just weren’t enough to help Six Flags pay down their $2.4 billion debt load. The economy and bad weather have taken their toll, and the company declared Chapter 11 bankruptcy over the weekend.
Out-Of-Work Adults Try To Nab Summer Lifeguard Positions
By May 8, 2009
Some adults who are out of work are now going after classic teen jobs, says ABC News. In Florida, which has the fourth-highest unemployment rate of the nation, men in their 30s and 40s “have pulled on swim trunks in hopes of beating out the teenagers for a few choice positions as $9.37 an hour lifeguards.” The report also says adults are trying out for jobs at places like Six Flags. All of this reminds us a little of this Kids In The Hall Sketch (see below) where a young boy finds a stray businessman and brings him home.
At Six Flags, You Have To Pay A Fee To Print Your Own Tickets
By April 22, 2009
We know Six Flags is desperately trying to avoid bankruptcy, but that’s no reason to go all Ticketmaster on the people who want to have a good time at Magic Mountain in Los Angeles.
Six Flags Requires You To Check All Bags Before Each Rollercoaster For $1 Per Ride
By June 10, 2008
Reader Aaron says that his trip to Six Flags was ruined by their new policy of making riders check even very small bags before each ride — at the cost of $1 a ride.
Eat a Cockroach, Ride a Rollercoaster.
By September 25, 2006
Six Flag’s Great America. Ah, those halcyon days of youth, strapped to one of the American Eagle’s dual trains with only a lapbar and someone else’s mom to keep your skinny ass from bouncing the hell out of the car. Oh, the memories.
The News; Dance Like Nobody’s Buying
By June 23, 2006
• The Googleplex paid him off in lifetime supply of candy, hair combings. [LAT] “Lawmaker’s Porn Suit Against Google Dropped”
Six Flags Sued For Roller Coaster Cell Phone Headbutt
By March 6, 2006
When the universe finally implodes and existence fades away into the more natural state of nothingness, the moment immortalized to the left is one of those happy moments the universe will fondly recollect as its life flashed before its eyes. It is, of course, the moment when Fabio went on a Six Flags roller coaster, head butted a migratory goose flying across the track and it exploded in his face. In the back row, a gore-spattered girl screams in abject hysteria, while a more level-headed girl to Fabio’s right realizes the event for what it is — the best thing ever — and takes advantage of the opportunity to gloatingly mock him.
