Ford Unveils New Car For Cash-Strapped Buyers: The 1993 Taurus

Unfortunately, while we do our best to answer your questions, in this case we have to admit: We do not f*cking know.

[Handerpants]
Handerpants: Support Where You Never Knew You Needed It [Gizmodo]

Fortunately, someone contacted Chipotle to ask whether it's true that their food will cause rectal bleeding. Chipotle responded, "There is no truth to that claim." Whew!

Ghost Hunters, however, is still ridiculously stupid.

(Thanks to mybodystory!)

Alan says:

Here is a menu for a local restaurant where I live. The interesting stuff is on page 4.
Of particular note:

Item C14 is "Beef Brisket in Wikipedia Flavor"

I guess when you have to come up with names for hundreds of items, you must get a little punchy toward the end.

The Herbal Menu on the right side of page 4 is ideal for those who want to take the edge off their appetite so as not to order too much. It includes words like: "internal bleeding," diarrhea, sweat, phlegm,
urination, and nausea.

We wonder what the flavor of Wikipedia is. Maybe halfway to your house the delivery driver decides to throw in some extra carrots. Then, when he stops for gas, the gas station guy adds some onions...

[Full Menu]
[Green Tea II]

Ian says:

I saw this today at the Shaw's Supermarket in Goffstown, NH. They must have a surplus of hand sanitizers and masks.

Encouraging good hygiene was never so profitable. We wonder how often they have to remove bacon from the display.

The letter tells Jackson Frugalista to stop calling herself that, or else:

It is our clients' preference to resolve this matter amicably, if it is possible to do so. Further, please let us have your prompt written assurance that you and any affiliated companies or individuals will promptly discontinue and refrain from the use of the term "FRUGALISTA" in any form or derivation in any online blogs or journals. Please note that we will require documentation evidencing any changes or the cessation of use of any name or mark identical or similar to the Mark.

We look forward to receiving the information regarding your use of the Mark and your unambiguous favorable response, in writing, no later than 5:00 p.m. on Wednesday, September 23, 2009. Absent receipt of such, our clients reserve their right to take appropriate legal action to protect their trademark rights.

Kimberly Palmer, who writes U.S. News & World Report's Alpha Consumer blog, notes that McNeal's claim to the term is a little bold, considering she started the blog in 2008, when the word "frugalista" was already in circulation. Palmer contacted McNeal's lawyer, who said other writers can continue to use the word "frugalista," just not on themselves.

We'll see how this Frugalista standoff plays out this week. For now, Jackson Fruglaista is sticking with its name.

Cease And Desist Letter To Jackson Frugalista [Jackson Frugalista, via Alpha Consumer]
(Photo: Lindacat)

Len says:

Just wanted to send along the story of my most recent experience with Amazon.com. I've usually been very happy ordering from them – fast shipping, competitive prices, and good customer service – it's the reason I pay for an Amazon Prime membership. But this last episode has me scratching my head.

Last Wednesday I order two items from Amazon: a bottle of shampoo, and a book. I got the package on Friday, opened it up, and the shampoo had opened up during shipping. While I could've just rinsed off the bottle and used it, the book was also covered in the sticky stuff. OK. I get it. It happens. I call their customer service number, and the rep I spoke with was super apologetic and told me that they would overnight a new shipment to me right away, and he said that he "put a note in there" that they should pack it extra carefully so that this mess doesn't happen again.

Cool. Kudos to Amazon. They could've blamed it on the shipping company, but instead they did the right thing. I was happy.

I forgot about it until Monday when I got home and the package was waiting for me. I opened it up, and whadya know, same old goopy mess. Open bottle, book covered in shampoo. Now I'm a little annoyed.

I called back, and this time I spoke with [redacted], who couldn't have been sweeter and more apologetic. She told me that they'd re-send it in two separate packages so that it wouldn't happen again, and that I wouldn't even have to return this order, it was mine to keep.

Alright. They messed up twice, but they're clearly taking steps to fix it. Game on.

Then, today, I got a follow-up e-mail from [redacted], who apparently forgot about our phone conversation. Here's an excerpt:

"I'm sorry to hear the replacement book and Health and Beauty had the same problem as your first order. This usually doesn't happen. Since it's likely another replacement would arrive damaged, I won't trouble you with another order.

Please return the book "[redacted]" We'll pay for the return shipping costs."

Um…what? Then, much to my surprise, I immediately got another e-mail that my money had been refunded. What the…? I didn't ask for my money back, nor do I want it – I just wanted the products I ordered. I don't get it. They're not sending it to me because "it's likely another replacement would arrive damaged?" Why not just send it in two packages, as originally promised?

Urgh.

I ended up buying some shampoo at the store today – which I probably should've done in the first place, but I was trying to avoid a trip to the store by ordering it online. Lesson learned.

Anyhow, I'm not "taking my business elsewhere" (other than for shampoo, I guess) or anything like that. Truth is, I'm still drawn to Amazon for the convenience and time-saving aspect of it. I'm willing to pay a bit more to get all my stuff in one place, delivered fast. Hopefully this kind of thing won't happen again.

You know, Drugstore.com shrink-wraps their shampoo before they ship it. Just sayin'.

(Photo:stirwise)

Ad #3 actually sounds like a pretty good idea, if you're into sad drunk clowns:

"We need an Adult Drunk Clown who is good at getting drunk and stupid. No need to do any clown tricks, just hang out and drink a shit load. We will be hopping around to different bars and want a clown to tag a long and drink heavely. He doesn't even need to socialize with anyone, just drink."

The ones at Telegraph are mostly just fun, but if their list whets your appetite for Craigslist stupidity, go spend some time on You Suck at Craigslist and marvel at the dimmer side of humanity.

"20 most bizarre Craigslist adverts of all time" [Telegraph]

WTEN says:

They say the group ran 470 feet of extension cord across a four lane highway and through a Home Depot parking lot to power an electric drill they planned to use to remove the sign early Sunday morning.

The group was stopped when the restaurant's alarm went off, but officers say they planned to make their getaway with the sign in an SUV.

The AP adds that the sign is valued at $8,000 but neglect to mention how they arrived at that figure.

Cops: four jailed after they try to steal sign from Chili's restaurant [wten]
(Photo: wten)

Understandably, the flying cash caused a traffic jam. Since every square mile of L.A. freeway is constantly stuck in gridlock, the holdup was nothing new for Angeleno drivers. But at least for once they got a chance to step out of their cars to recover some of the funds they were burning up in their gas tanks.

The L.A. Times reports:

Los Angeles County fire officials took the man to a hospital for further evaluation, Hunt said. It was unknown how much money the man threw away. Those who stopped to pick up the bills were asked to return the money to Azusa police or to the CHP's Baldwin Park office.

I'm sure everyone who was crazy/greedy enough to leave their cars to collect free freeway cash got right on that directive to turn it into the cops.

Money thrown onto freeway jams traffic as people stop to collect cash [Los Angeles Times]
(Photo: darkmatter)

1. Chili's "Quesadilla Explosion Salad" As if the idea of a quesadilla salad wasn't silly enough, they had to add a little Jerry Bruckheimer to the mix. What exactly is a "quesadilla explosion," you ask? "Fajita-marinated chicken, mixed cheese, corn relish, cilantro, diced tomato, crispy tortilla strips and ancho-chile ranch drizzle. Served with fire-grilled cheese quesadilla wedges and our citrus-balsamic dressing." Sounds kinda tasty, but do we have to say "quesadilla explosion" when we order it?

2. Applebee's "Chicken Parmesan Tanglers" Tangler is not a delicious-sounding word. It sounds like something one must have removed from the rear end of a beloved pet.

3. Cheesecake Factory's "Weight Management Asian Chicken Salad™" Yes, there are salads that are not classified as "Weight Management." This is not one of them. Order this salad using its full, trademarked, name. Go ahead.

4. P.F. Chang's "Hot Fish" This dish suffers from the opposite problem. There is just not enough information here. Who wants to tell someone they'd like some "Hot Fish?" Maybe "Catch of the Day" would have been better?

5. Cracker Barrel's "Uncle Herschel's Favorite®" Apparently Uncle Herschel was a real guy, and a real uncle, but the creepiness of the name of this breakfast prevents us from ordering it. That, and the portion seems large enough that an appointment with a cardiologist should be included as a side.

6. Friendly's "Super Sizzlin'™ Sausage Sunrise" We're familiar with the "sausage sunrise," and we keep telling them that we're just not in the mood in the morning. It's nothing personal.

7. Outback Steakhouse's "Chocolate Thunder From Down Under®" This is just an incorrect use of words. There's no other way to describe it.

We're sure we've missed some. Add your suggestions to the comments and help us out!

Reader Favorites:

IHOP's "Rooty Tooty Fresh 'N Fruity®" Here's one where you just point at the menu and say, "I'll have this."

Bubba Gump's "Bubba's After the Storm Bucket of Boat Trash" We've seen "Deadliest Catch" and we'll pass on this one.

Moe's "Joey Bag of Donuts" It's a burrito. Really.

The mouse, discovered Thursday, had thoroughly torn up two bills and damaged another 14 to line his nest. Employee Millie Taylor says she screamed and slammed the machine's door shut.

The bank replaced all the money that wasn't extensively damaged, and the ATM has continued to work just fine.

The station will apparently not be renewing its limited-time special offer: free pet with every $320 withdrawal.

Mouse Builds Nest In ATM With $20 Bills [AP]

"15 Billboards That Don't Belong Next To Each Other" [BuzzFeed]

That said, its fun, dammit. So if you're a lottery player looking for some sort of justification to go the dollar and a dream route, personal finance blogger Well-Heeled, With A Mission has got you covered with a top-notch rationalization.

She applies a bit of game theory to four possible scenarios regarding what could happen if your office has a lotto pool going:

. You participate – the pool loses.
2. You participate – the pool wins.
3. You don't participate – the pool loses.
4. You don't participate – the pool wins.

In Scenario 1: the most you will lose is your contribution ($1 or $2 or $5). Scenario 2 is the big one, of course – depending on how much you win, that can be financial freedom right there (or at least enough for a down payment or a year's worth of Roth IRA contributions).

Well-Heeled goes on to explain the real reason she chooses to participate is a haunting fear of No. 4 coming to pass, however unlikely.

For the record, not once in my life have I ever chipped in to an office lottery pool and I get a sick pleasure out of enjoying scenario 3 unfold on a weekly basis.

Why I ALWAYS buy in at the office lottery pool [Well-Heeled, With a Mission]
(Photo: Jeremy Brooks)

The owner of the winery that produces Cycles Gladiator says that he won't change the label, so if you live in Alabama it looks like you'll have to pick up your bottles when you go on your sex toy purchasing trips.

"Winery's Nude Nymph Causes State Ban" [NBC Los Angeles] (Thanks to Charles!)

RELATED
Cycles Gladiator wine

Catherine says:

This week I've been getting phone calls from Capitol One, those annoying automated calls that expect people to actually wait and be transferred to a live person. I always hang up. Today I logged into Capitol One's web site to check my account. It says I'm 0 payments past due. My next payment is due July 22nd. Below is the message that was waiting for me.

I can't decide if being 0 payments past due is good or bad but according to Capitol One it can happen to anyone. That's a comfort. Of course if I make my next payment by the due date all will be good with the Capitol One universe and I won't be reported to the credit bureaus for not being late.

Balance: [redacted]
Amount Due: $41.00
Payment(s) Past Due: 0

Dear CATHERINE [redacted],

Your account is 0 payment(s) past due and we know that can happen to anyone. If you're having problems making your monthly payments, we'd like to help. That's why we wanted to let you know that it's not too late to put your account back in good standing. And you can now click here to make a payment online.

Making a payment of $41.00 by 07/22/2009 will make your account current. This will keep us from having to report your account as past due to the credit reporting agencies.

And remember, the better your credit, the more likely you may be approved for new credit and lower rates in the future. Depending on your situation, even a partial payment may help keep your account in better standing with Capital One.

We understand your financial situation is unique. But finding the right solution to help you get through life's little financial hiccups is what our specially trained associates do every day.

So please don't miss another payment - call us Monday - Friday, 8 a.m. - 9 p.m. (ET), at 1-800-955-6600 or click here to make a payment online today.

Sincerely,

Capital One Bank (USA), N.A.

Hey, at least they understand that your financial situation is unique. That doesn't really bode well for Capital One, does it?

(Photo:Taberandrew)

Debbie writes:

Our phone was out of service beginning last Saturday. We checked the line into the house and it didn't work so we knew it was an outside line problem. I called Verizon customer service for repairs and I explained the situation. I also told customer service that this was 2nd time within a month that this line had not worked. I was told by Verizon that they are updating all of their lines and that their lines are old and are eaten through by squirrels and that they are in the process of updating their lines with FIOS - so if I wanted to be guaranteed having phone service I should call their business office and order FIOS. I asked the service person if what I was hearing was accurate that unless I upgraded to FIOS Verizon was telling me they could not say that I would have working phone service on a regular basis and she replied if I wanted to be sure to have a working phone I should upgrade to FIOS.

As I am well aware FIOS is an internet service based phone provider which runs off of electricity and since we lose power regularly where we live FIOS would be the worst type of service to have. It appears this is left out of Verizon's push to get unsuspecting consumers to change their phone service to FIOS if you want your phone to work.

We had no phone service all weekend and it was repaired on Monday afternoon. The repair man from Verizon was great and made no pitch that only FIOS would give us working service.

This is clearly an overzealous upsell, but it could be so much more. Squirrels eating through copper lines, destroying our national telecommunications infrastructure? Listen Verizon, this is viral scare-mongering ad gold, or at least a plausible B-film plot. Don't let it go to waste!

(Photo: jeffcl612)

Tell us, is there anything actually raunchy on that Family Guy box, or are they just teasing?

Corey writes:

I am an avid reader of your site, and just wanted to get the word out to your readers that may be having an issue resolving lost UPS orders that were shipped from Dell. Here is how my story goes:

On May 6th (Wed) I ordered a new Vizio 37" LCD (Model #VO37LF) from Dell Home. 3 to 5 day ground shipping was free and provided by UPS. I live in Philadelphia and had the package shipped to my house. To my surprise however, the order was actually sent to UPS the same day, and as I tracked the package on UPS's web site it wound up in Philadelphia and "Out For Delivery" on May 8th (Fri). Only 2 business days! I was so excited that I would have time on the weekend to setup and enjoy my new TV. That's when everything went wrong.

I left work a little earlier so that I would be there to receive and sign for my package, to no avail as it was never delivered. There was no notice that a delivery was attempted, as they usually affix a little sticker on your door with the date and time for a future delivery attempt. Checking UPS's site the next day, the estimated delivery date was bumped up to that day (Sat). This seemed sort of odd, as I wasn't sure that UPS made deliveries on Saturdays, and that the shipping specifically stated business days. Continuing to track the package up through the 5 business days, the Rescheduled Delivery Date would subsequently be reassigned to the current day's date, although the tracking information still read that it was "Out For Delivery" on the 8th.

I knew something was definitely amiss, so yesterday, the 14th I called UPS. The customer service rep was very nice and frank, stating that it looked like this package is lost, and that I need to have Dell contact them to initiate a trace on the package. When I called and told the Dell customer service rep what the UPS rep had said, he said he would be glad to help me with that, initiate the trace, and if I did not receive my package within 48 hours to call them (Dell) back. Today however, when I checked the UPS tracking site for my package, once again the "Rescheduled Delivery Date" had incremented itself to today's date, and still no TV. Another call was placed to UPS, only to find that the Dell rep never initiated the trace. This is when I went bananas, and so does this story.

Another call to Dell Customer Service sent me to a rep who told me the following. "UPS is showing that the scheduled delivery date is today (thanks I knew that) and that their policy is to not initiate a trace until 48 hours after the scheduled delivery date on UPS's web site!" It was a this point that I realized that the first Dell rep blatantly lied about initiating the trace, and was just going to have me call back after 48 hours when I didn't receive my package and initiate the trace then. I sternly tried to explain to the current Dell rep that there will never, ever be a time 48 hours past the rescheduled delivery date, because it increments every day. The poor guy just stated that that is their policy, and that I can track my package with the tracking number he reread to me on UPS's web site. Dismayed beyond belief that I had just been told that their policy didn't apply simple logic, and was unaware of how their own shipper's website operated, I stated that if this was not resolved by Monday, I will be issuing a charge back on my credit card and canceling my order.

Still not happy with this resolution I redialed UPS again. I told the polite rep what was going on and she offered to refer me to someone in the tracing department. I gladly accepted, and that is when I met Roger. I reexplained my situation and Roger went to work, first taking all my Dell order information, and then offering to call Dell Customer Support himself and see if he could get a resolution. He even took my phone # down, so that if we were disconnected while he was on the other line, he could call me back. After a few minutes on hold, he came back to tell me that, sure enough, Dell couldn't initiate a trace until 48 hours after the rescheduled delivery date. We both shared a chuckle at how boneheaded this policy is, and he stated he was waiting to talk to a supervisor. After a few minutes he came back to tell me that it was taking longer than expected to reach a supervisor, and he would gladly call me back after he had talked to one.

After about 5-10 minutes, my phone rang and Roger stated the following: "I tried to explain to two supervisors how our website operates, and that this trace will never occur under their current policy, but they were really sticking to their guns." He then told me he was initiating the trace/investigation himself, without the okay from Dell, and gave me his direct extension for any future questions I had regarding the shipment.

Roger, out of 5 calls to customer service to 2 different companies, you were the only one who really did anything meaningful to resolve this issue. You have my name and #, so the next time you are in Philly call me up because the first beer is on me.

Since it seems a little absurd that Dell would have a policy to never, ever ask UPS to trace a lost package, we asked Dell's Geoff Knox, a Supervisor in Global Operations, to clarify Dell's actual policy. He replied:

The policy guidelines state that if a package has gone 48 hours past the estimated delivery date the Customer Care rep is to initiate a process to create an exchange order- that is, a replacement order as the original is presumed lost in transit at that point. A trace is done by us after the fact, as the goal is to ensure the customer is taken care of first.

Generally when there is a lost shipment, the estimated delivery date doesn't change on the carrier side. Since it has done so repeatedly in this case, my guess is that the representative that was contacted failed to see (or possibly failed to act) the previous deliver dates and the changes made by UPS. Without having the case notes in front of me, it's hard to say for sure what happened. One of the things I've already done is make the folks who work on the guidelines aware of this so that they can double check their documents and make sure that there isn't a gap in the training as described in your first email. I've never seen a UPS (or any other carrier) delivery date change like this, but I can believe it is possible. That being the case, it's possible it may happen again and so I want to be sure that our side is prepared for it if there is a gap in the training.

Which makes much more sense.

In fact, it took two hours to get some help...and that was only after Eyewitness News called the police department...who said, call the fire department...who said, call 9-1-1...who said, call 3-1-1..who said, call the mayor's office.

In the meantime, a Good Samaritan — tried to remove the immediate hazard out on the sidewalk. He lured about a thousand bees into a bag — which was later placed inside a box. But pedestrians were still at risk, and the bees continued to filter out of the building.

Eyewitness News: "What were people doing when you approached this??"
Good Samaritan, Edward Albers: "I don't know...they were laughing...some of 'em..."
Eyewitness News: "Was anyone stung??"
Albers: "Not yet..."

And finally, at around 4 p.m. the NYPD's bee specialist arrived — but removing the hive was no easy task...

"I'm probably gonna be relying on scent...the queen bee's scent...it could take a half hour, an hour...two hours...I don't know," NYPD bee expert Tony Planakis said.

The NYPD, which apparently has bee experts on staff, successfully lured the hive into boxes, which they plan to ship upstate.

Bees swarm store in NYC [ABC via Gothamist]

The 10.15am flight yesterday - AA87 - was delayed while a replacement pilot was found and the Boeing 777 eventually took off at 11.30am.

American Airlines said today: "An American Airlines pilot was arrested at Heathrow yesterday having failed a breathalyser test. Police had been called by airport staff working at the security control post.

[...]

Arrests of drunken pilots are "quite infrequent," said a police spokesman who declined to be named, in line with police policy. "They are not everyday occurrences."

Crites is out on bail until July 16.

American Airlines pilot arrested after failing breathalyzer test [CNN]
Pilot held in cockpit is ‘4 times drink limit' [The Sun]
(Photo: NoiseCollusion)

Perhaps it was the verisimilitude of his jackass impression that convinced us — or maybe it was the part where he conducted "man on the street" interviews while talking to someone else on his bluetooth headset. Yeah. It was probably that part. Happy Friday, everybody.

(Thanks, Pat!)

Reader Jim writes:

I saw this sign on the wall at the McDonalds directly across from Madison Square Garden (12 Penn Plaza, New York).

I know that businesses can refuse to accept "large bills", but rather than simply using a counterfeit-detection pen or UV light, they want ID?

Wouldn't someone with the ability for forge currency find it easy to also make a fake ID for use when passing the forged bills?

Why was I in Mickey-D's? Easy - I promised myself a milkshake after enduring the DMV at Penn Plaza.

The McDonald's in Penn Plaza confirmed that the measure is meant to deter counterfeiters. According to them, most people hand over their ID without complaint.

James says:

Pandemic pricing?

Yep, start hoarding antibiotics, birth control and contact lenses. We're doomed.

Update: Yeah, we know it's not a new idea. It's still fun to read, and free.

"Chad's Letters" [RollZero]
(Photo: jmayer1129)

I found this pretty funny as just having a space between "best" and "buy" makes the term just as offensive as an F word and such

Watch your mouth, Andrew.

Attached a picture taken recently while out grocery shopping. I think General Mills is getting our kid's hopes up too far.

Agreed, Jon.

"Apple iPod 30GB Video" [Woot]

He writes:

Just thought I would share an experience I had at Wal-Mart purchasing a bike. I bought a bicycle with Wal-Mart in order to save on gas money and try to increase my overall health. Living within 2 miles of my University, and considering I happen to work there as well, riding a bike only made good sense.

I bought a Next brand bike from Wal-Mart for the cost of 110 dollars, and about 100 dollars in accessories (helmet, lights, lock, etc). The first problem I had - none of the accessories fit. Literally, none of them. The lights, the bike pump, everything I purchased did not fit correctly on the unit I purchased. "Well, I'll just deal with it", I said to myself. Within a week, the chain kept coming off, the brakes were so tight the wheels could barely turn (because the tires, when completely aired up, were too big for the brakes), and on top of all that the right plastic pedal snapped while I was riding the bike and nearly threw me into traffic. All in all, it was a shodily constructed and dangerous piece of garbage.

Needless to say, I thought it would be best for me to return it to Wal-Mart. I loaded it in my car, took it to my local Supercenter with receipt in hand, and headed to the customer service counter. There I encountered Cheryl, the Customer Service Manager at the Norman - East branch. Upon trying to return it, I was told that they had a strict policy regarding bike retuns. What follows is a rough approximation of my conversation with her:

Me: "I'd like to return this bike."

Her: "We don't return bikes."

Me: "Why not?"

Her: "Because we can repair them for you, so we don't give refunds on them."

Me: "What? It isn't listed as an exception on the wall behind you."

Her: "We can't have all of our exceptions listed, that would take up room we use for advertising."

Me: "No one told me about this policy before I bought the bike though."

Her: "We don't have to."

I stood there in shock for a few minutes, shooting her the most angry stare I could manage. I packed up the bike, and left. Later, I called them, asked for her full name (which she wouldn't give me) and told her that I would be filing a lawsuit in small claims court against them. To my wife's first year law school brain the Return Policy on that wall is a contract that allows me to return the bike within 90 days of purchase with valid receipt, and a lawsuit in SCC would almost be a guaranteed win.

Luckily, before filing the suit, I called the district manager. She told me that the "policy" touted by Cheryl did not exist, and urged me to contact the store manager before filing a claim. If the store manager refused to take care of it, she would handle it from the district level. He told me the same thing Cheryl did until I mentioned my chat with his boss, and he amended his stance to say "that the policy was more of a guideline than anything else" to avoid returns for flat tires. This is just as absurd as what Cheryl told me, but regardless, I got my refund - and I purchased a bike from a real bike store.

I just wanted to share my experience with the readers of The Consumerist, so they could be wary of buying an important purchase like a primary mode of transportation from such an unscrupulous company - and to be wary of what lower management tells you. Worst case scenario, contact district staff. Wal-Mart is seems to be often more afraid of pad PR than anything else.

Great work, Keia! Don't take no for an answer just because it's delivered by someone wearing a smock and a name tag. If you firmly and politely escalate your complaint, more often than not, you'll get exactly what you want.

That's what's going on in San Antonio, TX, where a HOA is having a showdown with the homeowners.

In a rare move, a South Side homeowners association has filed to foreclose on 84 homes in the Mission Creek community because of unpaid association dues.

That's 21 percent of the roughly 400 homes in the community, based on data from RexReport.com. The 84 are set to go on the auction block April 7 at the Bexar County Courthouse - an event that would devastate the neighborhood's property values, experts say.

Judith Gray, an attorney hired as the auction trustee, said the association is foreclosing because many homeowners have not paid dues for several years, and the multiyear loss of those dues is making it difficult for the association to function and to provide services required by the city.

"We've got a lot of stubborn people who believe they do not have to pay homeowners dues," Gray said. "They have on average not paid homeowners dues for two to three years."

The homeowners who are refusing to pay say that the association isn't delivering on a promised park — and is using the money only to maintain the "front area where they sell those homes."

Some homeowners say that the non-payment was due to a misunderstanding, and were surprised to learn that their house was going to be auctioned off...

Adam Chavarria says his unpaid dues were the result of poor communication from the association as to his payment due date.

Chavarria, who bought his home in July 2004, said the association had sent a bill and coupon book in previous years to help in payments, but not last year.

"I didn't have a problem paying," he said.

Chavarria says his next personalized written communication from the association was a "formal notice" of default telling him to pay $267.58, including $100 in legal fees, or have his home auctioned off between 1 p.m. and 4 p.m. April 7.

"That was kind of a shock. For a couple hundred dollars, I thought that was a bit much," Chavarria said.

He paid the fees.

HOA moves to foreclose on 84 homes [My SanAntonio via Fark]

A witness told police that Mr. Johnson lifted the vehicle, which was parked at Southeastern Equipment Co. on Mike Padgett Highway, off the ground twice and then let it fall.

After causing $1,600 worth of damages, Johnson fled. Police are now searching for him so they can haul him up on felony charges.

Augusta man accused of using forklift to move car "in his spot" [NBC Augusta]
Police hunt man after car moved with forklift [The Augusta Chronicle]
(Photo: bucklava)

If only U.S. Airways had the foresight to charge their own emergency escape fee they could've collected a smooth $3,750 from the passengers of Flight 1549 before letting anyone off the wings.

Message 9222744 [b3ta board] (Thanks to Geoffrey!)
PREVIOUSLY: RyanAir Thinking About Charging For Toilets

Here's our highly-researched evidence:

1. Poochie was dreamed up by marketers. The new Tropicana packaging was the result of overpaid marketing types.

2. The new design was vetted by focus groups, which we thought everyone knew by now are absolutely useless. Poochie's creation is spurred by a focus group of completely unfocused children, including God's littlest angel, Ralph Wiggum:

I've been in a focus group before, and do you know what they give you for being in one? Pizza and money. That's right, food and cash just for spouting off opinions. You go mad with the power and say anything that comes to mind.

3. Poochie is an amalgamation of cliches and lowest-common-denomitaor buzzwords. The redesigned Tropicana package looks like every generic OJ carton in the juice section.

4. The episode introduces a beloved, if flawed, secondary character to the Simpson's universe. The Tropicana redesign leaves us with a cool little orange-shaped cap that's fun to look at:

Lead walking tours amid the ruins of your past life. Who better to show people around the financial district than someone who has worked - who has bled - on the very spot?

Maybe, said Seth Kamil, founder of Big Onion Walking Tours. But Big Onion tour guides must have advanced degrees in history.

"We've actually gotten a couple of résumés from no-longer-employed Wall Streeters," Mr. Kamil said. "I've been kind of graciously trying to say, ‘Working on the street just doesn't do it.' "

The Times is pretty good at this stuff. Maybe the ailing paper can publish an equally useful list of alternative media careers when they announce the next round of layoffs?

Career Options for Ex-Wall Street Workers [The New York Times]
(Photo: Mel B.)

Justus writes:

I noticed this water bottle in my room last weekend and couldnt help but laugh/snap some pics and email them to The C. Since when does "complimentary" mean "we will charge you 3 dollars for this tepid bottle of water if you open it'? I guess I should be thankful, because this misleading behaviour enabled me to pilfer bottles off the housekeeping cart without feeling guilty.