GoDaddy Discontinues Something, Forgets To Tell Customers What

GoDaddy Discontinues Something, Forgets To Tell Customers What

It’s nice when a company gives customers advance notice before they stop offering a popular product or service. GoDaddy sent out an e-mail yesterday notifying their customers about the end of a product. Which product? Well, that’s a good question. [More]

Would You Like Some Penis Jokes With Your Pizza?

Would You Like Some Penis Jokes With Your Pizza?

When a restaurant introduces a new special, they want the name to be memorable. Brothers Pizza in Cleveland and Akron, Ohio have done a masterful job with one coupon that they call their “oddest and most popular offer.” That’s the “12 boners and 4-skins” deal, where customers get a dozen chicken wings and four potato skins for $10.99. What did you think it was referring to? [More]

CVS Has Everything For The Busy Time-Traveling Mother In Your Life

CVS Has Everything For The Busy Time-Traveling Mother In Your Life

I vaguely remember that day planners are what people once used to organize their lives before they used smartphones for that kind of thing. Apparently, no one in Jim’s town has had any need for one since 2009, so no one has noticed that they still have planners in stock from 2009. [More]

(Mark Liddell)

18 Cats That Can’t Resist Lounging In Amazon Boxes

As everyone who has owned a cat or seen the Internet knows, cats love boxes. America’s cats aren’t quite sure what to make of the news that Amazon has increased the free Super Saver Shipping threshold to $35, from the original $25. On the one paw, this might mean that their households will be getting fewer packages from Amazon and fewer boxes to lounge in. Or could it drive more cat owners to get Amazon Prime and thus have more boxes to lounge in? [More]

McDonald’s Clubhouse Quarter Pounder Sounds Nice, Wants To Eat Itself

McDonald’s Clubhouse Quarter Pounder Sounds Nice, Wants To Eat Itself

It’s old news that McDonald’s is testing a new variation on the Quarter Pounder, the super-fancy “Clubhouse Quarter Pounder,” in a few counties in the Miami area. What struck us about this new burger wasn’t its contents, but the food styling in this photo. A bacon strip looks like a human tongue licking its lips in the universal cartoon symbol for “yum.” Is it supposed to be clever? It’s creepy. [More]

Bear Is In The Mood For German Food, Walks Off With Restaurant’s Dumpster

Bear Is In The Mood For German Food, Walks Off With Restaurant’s Dumpster

The German restaurant Edelweiss in Colorado Springs, Colorado isn’t a takeout place, but don’t tell that to the bear who decided that their dumpster made a suitable takeout container. A surveillance camera caught the critter pushing the trash receptacle out of frame. Being a bear, this was about as easy for her as it would be for a human to push around a fully loaded shopping cart. [More]

UPS Not Experimenting With Exciting New Teleportation Service

UPS Not Experimenting With Exciting New Teleportation Service

Did you know that UPS is now able to teleport packages hundreds of miles in only a few minutes? It’s true. Well, that, or something went slightly wrong with the timestamps on reader Kain’s package. [More]

(John)

Someone Warn This Time-Traveling Cookie Box About The Great Depression

Who knew that they had delicious off-brand Thin Mints at the beginning of the 20th century? We didn’t. Yet John discovered this box of cookies that expired way back in 1914. Yet it has a UPC and brags that the cardboard is 100% post-consumer waste. What is this madness? [More]

Seems legit.

In-Store-Only Digital Downloads Are Not The Way To Get People Flocking Inside Best Buy

For brick-and-mortar retailers, getting customers to walk into their stores has always been a challenge. Today, it’s even more so. But the secret to success in the third decade of the e-commerce era probably isn’t making digital downloads “In-Store Purchase Only.””I wanted to buy some Microsoft points for Xbox…..ummm, I’m not quite sure I understand this one Best Buy,” reader Aaron writes. “Digital Download in-store?” [More]

Seems legit.

How Do You Re-Use A Naughty Cake Pan To Make Something Less Naughty?

It seemed like a really great idea to order a penis-shaped cake pan and make a dirty dessert for your friend’s bachelorette party. But now you have no similar shindigs coming up, don’t need the pan anymore, and you don’t want your neighbors to see it between your old food processor and that iced tea maker at your next yard sale. Throwing it away would be a waste. What do you do? What do you do? [More]

Back on slippery track

Walmart Will Kick-Start Your Fitness Regime With Chocolate Bark And Crisco

Kelly noticed a display at Walmart with signs that said “Get back on track,” which she assumed meant health foods and workout equipment. What else could it be? (Well, maybe NASCAR merchandise.) Instead of protein supplements and Shake Weights, she found cake mixes and cans of Crisco. Pretty much the opposite of what she was expecting. [More]

Great savings!

Don’t Miss These Great Sales At Target And Meijer

We don’t hate the foot soldiers of retail here at Consumerist. What we hate are the processes that make lead to pointless non-sale signs posted on shelves that waste everyone’s time and either confuse customers or make them giggle. Here are two. [More]

Taylor Rewrites Time, Crams 85 Minutes In An Hour

Taylor Rewrites Time, Crams 85 Minutes In An Hour

Sure, you might wish that there were more hours in the day to get things done. But what if there were more minutes in every hour? That’s what Taylor Precision Products, maker of measuring devices, from thermometers to scales, has apparently accomplished with one of their timers. It puts at least 85 minutes in every hour, for maximum productivity. It’s either that, or a hilarious typo. [More]

How To Gift-Wrap A Cat

How To Gift-Wrap A Cat

Giving pets as a gift is rarely a good idea unless it’s been cleared with the recipient ahead of time. But that doesn’t mean you can’t amuse yourself by swaddling your existing pets in wrapping paper and bows. [More]

Pretend To Be A Dinosaur, Get A Free House?

Pretend To Be A Dinosaur, Get A Free House?

Housing in a major city like Vancouver is expensive. In order to achieve the dream of homeownership, you can work hard for years in order to save up for a down payment on a house. Or you can be like one enterprising resident, and offer your services as a pet pretend dinosaur on Craigslist in exchange for a house. It’s just crazy enough that it might… nah, it’s still not going to work. [More]

Banks Impose Surcharge For Using The Word 'Bank'

Banks Impose Surcharge For Using The Word 'Bank'

As usual, parody news site The Onion has managed to produce fake news that tells the truth better than actual facts can. This week’s radio newsflash: not satisfied with charging us fees to receive statements, use tellers, use ATMs, have accounts, and transfer funds, banks will now automatically charge us seventy-flve cents to use the word “bank.” That sentence cost me $1.50. [More]

An iPad 2 Smart Cover Is Much Less Entertaining Without The iPad

An iPad 2 Smart Cover Is Much Less Entertaining Without The iPad

Jeremy’s iPad 2 has been backordered, and he has to wait another month or so to receive it. That’s okay, though. They sent along his Smart Cover in advance, and he’s found at least as many uses for the cover as he would have had for the iPad. Kind of. [More]

Welcome To The 6th Annual Worst Company In America Tournament!

Welcome To The 6th Annual Worst Company In America Tournament!

Ladies and gentlemen of business, it’s our proud honor to welcome you, your staff, your customers and your CEO to the opening of the 6th annual Worst Company In America tournament! It’s a knockdown drag out battle to the death. 32 companies go in, but only one can come out. It’s like Highlander, Battle Royale, the Hunger Games, and Survivor all rolled into one delicious, much-less-profitable package. So without further ado, let us turn it over to a silly video of Ben Popken playing basketball. [More]